January 10, 2001

Animal Planet Terminology Translator

  • When something sucks to a large degree, it "sucks the big wide board."
  • When someone has stolen/borrowed/shared something without asking, it's been "bogarted". As in "Dude, you just totally bogarted my beer!"
  • Likewise, one who steals/borrows/shares is designated a "bogarter".
  • When someone is taking far too long to wrap up the point of a conversation, they are requested to "pinch it off, Joe."
  • Having an amount of something makes one savvy in that area. For instance, purchasing hair spray and gel makes one "hairproducts savvy". A 2001 Ford pickup in the neighbor's driveway makes them "new truck savvy".
  • Expressing agreement or enthusiasm for something requires a "beans" comment (a derivative of "cool beans"). As in "Laura, I got five A's on my report card!" "Beans!"
  • When one is a party pooper, they are labelled a "buzz kill" or are "harshing my buzz".
  • When something strange/bad is observed, it is known to be "fucked up right there". As in "Check out that car accident!" "Yo, that's fucked up right there." The phrase "messed up" can replace "fucked up" when in mixed company.
  • When approached in an accusatory fashion, Bart Simpson is to be quoted: "I didn't do it, nobody saw me do it, you can't prove anything."
  • When you're trying to get someone's attention and they're not listening, quote "Bueller... Bueller... Bueller..."
  • To "pull a McFly" is to do something incredibly clutzy, stupid, or nerdy. Inspired by the "Back to the Future" films.
  • Inspired by the recent Bud commercials: As a response to "Whatcha doin'?", the reply is "Drinkin' a Bud, watchin' the game."
  • When someone is being particularly wimpy, they are called a "BDB". This is an abbreviation of "Big Damned Baby". Can also be termed "BDP", replacing "Baby" with "Pussy".
  • When something is being observed to be of questionable intellect, it is "all kinds of dumb" or "all kinds of stupid". "All kinds of" can be used in other venues as well. "All kinds of fattening", "All kinds of drunk", etc.
  • X(f) has been known to either take forever to do something, or be late for most things she attends. Therefore, if someone is taking forever or is late, they're "on X(f) time".
  • When the kids are using extra big words in their conversation, they're "pulling a Dawson's Creek".
  • When a person is complimented, they respond with "You think I'm gooooorgeous... you want to kiiiissss me..." Inspired by "Miss Congeniality".
  • When something positive happens, a "Snoopy Dance" is in order. For instance, "Laura, I got five A's on my report card!" "Great! I'm doing the Snoopy Dance over here!" Can also be simply announced as "Snoopy Dance!"
  • "Good stuff, Maynard" is a phrase expressing the approval and enjoyment of something eaten.
  • My sister's husband G is famous for his out of control bonfires. Therefore, when we have a particularly boisterous fire in the fireplace, or if Marie is hell bent on lighting a bunch of candles, it is referred to as "pulling a G".
  • "I'm over here..." This one's hard to explain. While on vacation in Maine, I was driving and my grandmother was sitting in the back seat behind me. I took a corner rather quickly, and she ended up sliding across the seat. She announced, "Oh, I'm over here!" This totally cracked us up, for some reason. We use this one in inappropriate moments. While wrestling... "Oh, I'm over here..." Getting cut off in traffic... "Oh, I'm over here..." Describing the dogs slinging each other across the tile... "Oh, I'm over here..." The cat's expression of surprise when she gets slung across the floor... "Oh, I'm over here..." The key to this saying is to speak it in a Granny voice, all quavery and high.
  • Speaking of cracking up, we've adopted Shelley's phraseology of "that cracked my shit up", or "you crack my shit up."
  • "Stop steamin' up my tail" (of Bugs Bunny fame) is uttered when a person is giving another person a hard time.
There are probably a million others used on a regular basis around the house, but these are all I can think of for right now.

********************

So it's 8:30 and I would normally have been at work for about an hour already. I'm waiting (again) for the DSL folks to arrive at my home - this time for a software installation. This will be morning #4 that I've taken off from work to deal with this. Ah, well, it's AcronymCo's nickel.

I kind of wish that Michael still had a normal school schedule instead of going in to school at 11:30. Then I would have the house to myself. Instead I'm listening to him huff and puff all over the place because he lost the envelope in which he's supposed to mail his fine to the court. This particular fine would be another one for speeding. They charged him $300 to be paid over three months - or was it $200 over two months? I forget. Calvin's the one who dealt with it. Calvin is also the one who is dealing with yet another court appearance with Michael on Friday - this one's for illegal use of a left turn lane, driving without proof of insurance, and driving on a suspended licence. The kid just doesn't have good luck when it comes to driving.

He makes noise just for the sake of making noise. He talks to himself. He talks to the dogs. He talks to the cat and ferret. He "do-do-do's" when he's walking around the house. Suffice to say, it's never quiet in the house when Michael's home.

At any rate, I got up with Calvin, saw him off to Flagstaff (again - and he'd *better* be able to come home tonight), checked my e-mail and journal reads, and drank coffee. It's overcast. It's been rainy for the past few days. I straightened up the bedroom and opened up all the blinds. I like the quality of light an overcast early morning brings. Muted and dim and easy on the eyes.

I will deal with the DSL guy (again), throw some Minestrone Stew together in the crockpot, and head off to work. School tonight, and with Calvin (potentially) gone and Michael at work, Marie will be rattling around in the house by herself. Maybe I can take her to class with me - she's studying the same math in school, after all. Sheesh.

Your Mission, should you choose to accept it...


Anybody out there budding astronomers? I got Calvin that Meade EX-somethingorother telescope for Christmas, and we want to know some cool stuff to look out for. I plan on getting him a subscription to Astronomy Magazine, and we have star maps and whatnot, but I want an insider scoop on what to look for.

Results From Yesterday's Mission


Oh, my poor lonely socks. Maybe they've separated by choice. Maybe they were tired of being stuck together for so long and one went off to look for a bigger better deal while the remaining sock tries to get it on with the other single socks in the drawer. Or maybe not.

I'm a freak.




I got a long chatty e-mail from a budding journalist whose URL I shall post here if he ever gets his butt in gear and puts the thing up (you know who you are). He did the search for "pepe le pew sexual" just to mess with me because he knew I'd see it. He claims he wasn't the original person who searched it, but I don't know. Heh. He also commiserates that his socks mysteriously disappear on him, too (doesn't it happen to us all?) and his white socks and black socks did this interracial thing (my words, not his), one mate from each taking off and leaving the other two together. It's wonderful to see the lack of discrimination between socks, isn't it?

I'm going to far with this, aren't I? (Readers: "Shut up about the damned socks, Laura.")

I grabbed the design idea for the box thingy from Anna.

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©Laura Charon 2000.