| AcronymCo is cracking down on expenses. One of the ways they're accomplishing this (and by "they" I mean "The Man") is to terminate the use of display phones. Display phones, in case you aren't familiar with the term, are multi-lined with caller ID screens. I call mine my "spy phone". I cause consternation in my callers when, instead of saying "Hello" when I pick up, it's "How ya doin', Carla?" "Uh! Oh, you must have one of those spy phones." Well, I will be spy phone savvy no longer. Display phones are slightly more expensive, on a monthly basis, than regular phones. So! Away it goes. I would like to point out that as of yet, executive staff luncheons, Blackberry pagers, Palm Pilots, and whimsical office supplies (do you *really* need that Bugs Bunny post-it dispenser?) have not been prohibited. Overtime, display phones, and team building events have. Flowers, which used to be given at births of babies, birthdays, and engagements, are now limited to if there's a death in one's family. How's that for wacked out priorities? God, I love this place! I completely understand the need to monitor and prioritize expenses. I have made efforts to do that in our own personal finances for, well, my entire life. I've always been in charge of the finances, savings, financial planning, debt pay-off planning, etc. etc. I was when X(m) and I were together, I am now with Calvin. I'm good at it, therefore I do it. I complain about it sometimes, but the truth is I would feel uncomfortable if anyone else took it over. Like I don't have my finger on the pulse. Like I'm out of control. Now, understand that I am not a control freak in any other area but the household funds. And understand that I'm certainly not as in control as I'd like to think I am. What I should be doing and what I'm actually accomplishing are sometimes drastically different. Sticking absolutely to the budget, and saving the remainder, is one of them. For instance. The weekly grocery budget is "supposed" to be $100 per week. I'm *lucky* if I manage to keep it around $150. Actually, on that one I think I'll need to adjust the budget. In this day and age there is just no way a family of four can be fully provided for on $100 a week. Unless I feed 'em Hamburger Helper or tuna and noodles every night. Gastronomically speaking, our family is high maintenance. Bacon-wrapped Filet Mignon, at $5.00 a steak. Shrimp Fettuccini Alfredo. Grilled chicken (which wouldn't be a problem except for the fact that the price for chicken in AZ is ridiculous). I require expensive lotions for my eczematic skin, and expensive cosmetics for my overly sensitive face. I've also turned into a bath product freak (at last count there were eight different types of bubble baths under the sink). The kids want Deli-Mex type frozen stuff, which is *not* cheap. Plus brand-name soda (none of that generic brand crap), of which they easily go through three twelve-packs in a week. Calvin, aside from his insistence that we're well stocked with junk food and beer (hah, like I suffer on *that* one), is the least expensive one of us, grocery-wise. The dogs go through tons of food in a short period of time, and the cat requires special hairball control food (which doesn't work, by the way. The damned vomit-beast). The ferret's food is stupidly priced at $5.99 a box. Our goal is for me to go grocery shopping, alone, once a week. Don't go into the store at any other time, and *certainly* don't shop when we're hungry. Proof of the need to exercise this concept can be detailed in the shopping trip Marie and I took on Sunday, after dropping Calvin off at the airport. We spent $163 on *nothing*. The food products purchased were salad mix, three boxes of cereal, coffee, milk, taco meat, and a package of chicken. Plus a package of cookies for Marie and Snackwells for me. The rest were toiletries for Marie, and whim purchases. Those whim purchases kill a budget. You know what else kills a budget? Going out to eat. Last night Marie and I had Jack In The Box, since I didn't feel like cooking. We'll have fast food again tonight, since I have school and Marie's going with me. We'll probably go out to eat on Friday night when Calvin flys back in. This "despite" the fact that I spent $163 on "groceries" on Sunday. Discipline is the issue, I know. My usual (best) habit is to figure out the entire week's menu on Sunday, list *only* the absolutely necessary items, shop alone, and prepare meals every night. This works really well for keeping the expenses down. We say we're only going to go out to eat one night on the weekend, and only spend $100 on entertainment in a week. Yeah. Sure. If we could *stick* to that we'd be golden. We aren't, and we ain't. This is what I need to plan for: $500/month in debt payoff (which is mountainous after the HIPFH(tm)); $200/month saving in anticipation of a down payment on a new vehicle next year; $200/month saving for Christmas so we don't have to add any more credit debt; and somewhere in there we need to fit in rainy-day savings, and vacation savings. I only have so much to work with in a month. This is a rough schedule to keep. And unfortunately this all can't happen at the same time. Debt payoff comes first, because if we didn't have those damned credit card payments we'd have plenty of cash to move around where we need it, and still be highly entertained in the process. My ultimate goal is to have no car payment and no credit payments. If we stick to our "plan", that can happen in five years. If (and that's a big "if") we add no more debt accumulation in the process. Which is hard, because we want to fit out the rest of the house with those little detail things, and we need to do something to the backyard. And we want to take vacations. And we want to acquire toys. And I desperately need new clothes. And the kids will always need "stuff". And Calvin *needs* a motorcycle (my words, not his). And and and... A lot of my problem stems from the fact that nickel-and-dime savings doesn't feel significant to me. Say, for instance, the gasoline payment which is budgeted at $150/month, comes in at $130. Logic dictates that I take the extra $20 and squirrel it away. But it doesn't seem significant enough to me to even bother with. Despite the fact that if I did that every month, for everything we come in under budget on, it would add up. Notice how I don't mention that we rarely come in under budget for anything? I'm just sayin'. Things aren't out of control, they're just not as firmly in control as I'd like them to be. I look at our finances once a week, when really I should be ratcheting things down and looking at the numbers daily. Yeah, right. What a pain in the ass. Momma didn't raise no accountant. Wow. What a boring entry, huh? I'm putting myself to sleep, here. Which would you rather have: me blathering on about our finances, or me blathering on about how much I miss Calvin? Casting about for something entertaining to write about... Oh, okay. Cat story. Well, cat and dog story. My habit in the morning is to let the dogs in to visit while I get ready for work. I do my thing, they mill around the house looking for mischief to get into. It's the routine. Well. I've already mentioned Kye's fascination with our cat, Minerva. The first thing Kye does when she's let in, at any given time, is to look for the cat. And poke her with her nose to say "Hi!". And sit two inches away from her and stare. And whine. And wag her tail furiously. I always assumed this was torture for the cat, judging by the infuriated "Beh-eehhr!" Min utters when Kye says "Hi!". So I holler "Kye, leave the cat alone! Lay down. Lay down!" And Kye does her noodle thing, and collapses on the floor. She stays there until the cat makes a move, and then she has to go investigate her again. And the "Beh-eehhr!" repeats. And my order repeats. And the noodling repeats. You get the idea. So this morning I let the dogs in, Kye bothers the cat, and I'm about to make my orders when I actually stop to observe what's going on. Min is sitting on one of the chairs under the dining table. Kye has her head stuffed under the table, nose extended toward the cat and tail going furiously. Min wap-wap-wap!'s her with a (declawed) paw. Kye wags harder. Min wap-wap-wap!'s again. I call Kye over to me, and tell her to lay down next to the couch. Min jumps down from the chair and saunters over to her water dish, nonchalantly ignoring the dogs and swaying her tail. Kye whines, but stays put. Min sashays over to the couch and rubs against it. Kye whines and wiggles, but still stays. Min walks *right up* to Kye, passes her by two inches, and rubs against the bathroom doorframe. Kye wiggles forward and pokes her with her nose. Min *looks at me* to make sure I'm watching, "Beh-eehhr!"'s, and wap-wap-wap!'s Kye on the nose. I cracked up. My sudden laugh startled Min, and she took off toward the table again. All three dogs gave chase. Dining chairs scattered as they all tried to fit under the table at once. Min growled and hissed. I called the dogs to order again. Three minutes later, Min emerged out from under the table. She sauntered over to the stairs, and climbed up three steps. Now she's on level with Kye's head. Kye goes over to investigate. Now, if Min *really* wanted to get away, all she'd have to do is jump up on the banister, which is her usual gotta-get-away-from-the-mutts perch. But no. She growled, hissed, whap'ed, and stayed put. My cat flirts with the dogs. She enjoys the attention. She's totally faking it when she complains. I'll continue to make sure the dogs don't get too rough with her, but from now on she's completely devoid of any sympathy from me. And here I've been feeling sorry for her this whole time. Damned cat. Countdown to Calvin: Three sleeps down, two more to go. |
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Your Mission, should you choose to accept it...
Go read Pamie's entry today. Get slapped by a uterus. You owe it to yourself. And after *that* intro, if you don't give into your curiosity you're not normal!
Results From Yesterday's Mission An "Oatmeal Cookie" consists of 1 jigger of Goldschlager, 1 jigger of Butterscotch Schnapps, and 1 jigger of Bailey's Irish Cream. Turn the ingredients to half-ounces (using 1/4 oz of Goldschlager), and add 1/4 oz of Jagermeister for an "Oatmeal Raisin Cookie" drink. I grabbed the design idea for the box thingy from Anna.
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