January 7, 2003
It's like algebra homework on a Friday night.
I have figured out the absolute sign of becoming a full-fledged grown-up. The doing of the very things you don't wish to do. The desire to avoid responsibilities, but not allowing yourself to. The complaining about the crappy jobs, but the doing of them anyway.
Heather e-mailed me this morning, asking how I was. I responded with, "Ih. Don't feel like being here. Have three million and twelve meetings. Have to start an analysis and pull together a metric model for one of my modules - and am putting it off like algebra homework on a Friday night."
I know that if I start thinking about the tedium too much, I'll just sink myself into a blue haze funk, the likes of which I won't likely emerge from unless someone just drops a billion dollars in my lap. Like Athina Onassis, who when she turns 18 later this month inherits three-point-something BILLION dollars, and when she turns 21 she inherits three-point-something BILLION more. Because, you know, she may have run out by then.
*And* she gets to ride for Greece in the equine events of the Olympics.
I don't know which one I'm more jealous of.
In times like this I'm convinced that it is only my routine that gets things done. If I didn't have a routine - something I could just follow automatically, the rail of my necessities - I'd be wearing dirty clothes, not paying my bills, eating moldy cheese and ketchup, and arriving late for work daily.
My ex mother-in-law used to tell me "look for the jewels" when I'd complain about the complete lack of anything positive in the relationship I had with her son. Meaning, look for the little positive things that, when added up, should equal satisfaction equivalent to the "big things". In relation to my marriage with her son, that little piece of advice was bullshit. But when applied toward life when it appears to be tedious, it works.
My jewels:
- I'm helping a friend from work make her wedding arrangements. I'm so excited about this I could shriek.
- The last few movies (with the very real and significant exception of "Ballistic - Ecks vs. Sever") we've rented have been pretty good, and have provided some cheap entertainment in the last several slow weekends.
- The cat has been keeping my feet warm in bed as of late. And in the middle of the night when I can't sleep, I pet him and his purr keeps me company.
- Marie got straight A's on her report card again.
- Calvin has offered to cook dinner for the family three nights of the week. This is going to go so far toward giving me that extra little bit of energy I need to stick to my workout routine, so I'm really happy about that.
- The days that I behave myself and stick to my diet plan are slowly outnumbering the days that I eat like a pig.
- We enjoyed seventy degree weather this weekend, and sat out on the patio of a restaurant on Friday night sipping beers. With no coats on. Gotta love Arizona in January.
- I've gotten into the routine of getting my lunch together in the evening for the next day. Not only does this prevent me from spending money in AcronymCo's expensive cafeteria, it also gives me the opportunity to make good food choices instead of grabbing a can of Raviolis while running, late, out the door in the morning.
- I've been reading quite a bit lately. Right now I'm on a re-read of Tad Williams' "Memory, Sorrow, and Thorn" trilogy (more commonly known as "The Dragonbone Chair" trilogy). I've always loved that when I read, I can picture everything like a full-blown Hollywood production in my mind. Faces, voices, colors, sounds, settings - it's like an automatic filter from written word to mind-eye vision. A great escape for when I need it.
- I bought the cookie. The cookie is sitting on my desk. I am looking at the cookie. Soon I am going to eat the cookie. (mmm... oatmeal raisiny goodness)
- Tonight, there is a new episode of Buffy, followed by a new episode of 24. Tuesday nights are good TV nights.
A good exercise to indulge in, lest I forget that in between the weddings and the vacations and the tax returns and the promotions and the graduations, there are the smaller things that make day to day living a pleasant thing to experience.
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