Search Engine Hits
For Your AmusementFrom an e-mail sent to me by a co-worker. Some of my own comments added.If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days, you would have produced enough sound energy to heat up one cup of coffee. (Hardly seems worth it. How much would I have to yell to provide me with the amount of coffee *I* drink?) If you fart constantly for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb. (Calvin has already obliterated a small country.) The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps out of the body to squirt blood 30 feet. (ew.) A pig's orgasm lasts for 30 minutes. (In my next life, I want to be a pig.) Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour. (Still not over that pig thing. But if that's the case, I should be losing weight at a much faster rate.) Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure. (Is that why Flipper is always smiling? And why isn't the pig included in this list?) On average, people fear spiders more than they do death. (Not me. Not that I'm fond of spiders, but I'm less fond of death.) A crocodile cannot stick out its tongue. (No french kissing. No ice cream cones. No raspberries. How dull it must be to be a crocodile.) The ant can lift 50 times its own weight, can pull 30 times its own weight, and always falls over on its right side when intoxicated. (Which government agency paid to get ants drunk, I wonder?) Polar bears are left handed. (They discovered this by observing them do...?) The flea can jump 350 times its body length. It's like a human jumping the length of a football field. (wicked) A cockroach will live 9 days without its head before it starves to death. (ew. see above.) The male praying mantis cannot copulate while its head is attached to its body. The female initiates sex by ripping the male's head off. ("Hi, honey, I'm home. What the.....?") Some lions mate over 50 times a day. (In my next life, I still want to be a pig. Quality over quantity, you know.) Butterflies taste with their feet. (I wonder what they smell with?) Elephants are the only animals that can't jump. (Define "animal". As Archibael pointed out, "I'd like to see an oyster jump.") An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain. (I know some people like that.) Starfish don't have brains. (I know some people like this, too.) Remember, when someone annoys you, it takes 42 muscles in your face to frown. BUT, it only takes 4 muscles to extend your arm and smack the fool upside the head. LONG LIVE THE PIG !!! Velly IntellestinkI got a surprising reaction from Calvin about yesterday's entry. I didn't think there was anything out there that could offend him, but I guess I was wrong. To those of you who were effected similarly, my humble apologies. But remember, I *did* warn you first.I wonder if I should write every entry as if that's the words that the entire site will be judged by? I imagine that someone reading me for the first time who came across yesterday's entry would have a much different opinion of me (and an altered likelihood of coming back again) than if that person had seen my entry about the dogs first instead. It's all me, it's just different me's. Ah, well. If you ran away, come back! I don't bite. I don't even really curse all that much. I'm really not that scary. I'd like to be, someday, but all I can aspire to at the moment is snarky. What else is going on...Today is my grandmother's birthday.My boss passed me over in our staff meeting today and that pissed me off. We're having chicken on the grill for dinner tonight. Calvin is in a teasing mood as a result of his improved health. We're going to Ruth's Chris Steakhouse for Valentine's. I watched Temptation Island for the first time last night. I was alternately interested and disgusted. I'm feeling especially lazy and don't want to have to *think* about the content for an entry. Besides which, much of my mental energy is taken up with a little surprise which I shall grace you guys with in a week or so. In 70-degree weather, Marie and I can observe snow on the top of Four Peaks Mountain on the drive home from school. It's been that clear in the valley lately. I will have had the ring that Calvin gave me for two years this Valentine's. And in other news...Shelley finally updated.ThreeWay Action thinks that Guy Pierce or Craig Bierko should be the next James Bond. I disagree completely with Jude Law. Squishy has it going on with a Magic 8 Ball and Limericks. Nancy is feeling blue. Send her an e-mail and cheer her butt on up! Anna has got a cool new box project going on. I did a random close-your-eyes-and-click on the list of Diarist.net's diary registry. This is what I came across. I've joined the Squishyring. I'm being assimilated. Resistance is futile. |
|
Your Mission, should you choose to accept it...
Kevin Bacon has acted with nearly every actor/actress alive. Check this site out and tell me how you score. Anyone that can come up with a Bacon Number higher than 3 has my everlasting respect.
Results From Yesterday's Mission And? So? Did you do what I told you to? You will if you know what's good for you! Don't you make me stop this car... I grabbed the design idea for the box thingy from Anna.
|