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prev home archive next Momentary Thought I type a lot worse when I'm on Tylenol Cold and Flu medication. High/Low High: Having the flu works well into my weight loss plans. Low: The entire world is encased in a Vaseline haze. For some people, that might be a high. Current Obsession Beauty products from Bath and Body Works. We purchased a sandalwood massage mousse this weekend, but alas, illness has prevented its use thus far. Grin Source Ex-boss #2 just shared some baby pictures of his three month old girl. It's almost (not quite) enough to make me want to have one. Not quite. Storyteller Bio Dramatis Personnae Who I Read Recipes |
Wow. Five days. I think that's the longest I've ever gone without updating. I think my brain was preparing for the flu days before my body was. I experienced the slow shut down of thought functions pretty much throughout last week, culminating in an overall feeling on noon Friday of "ah, fuck it all." Friday was a day of angst coming from many directions, that's for sure. Five minutes before my 10:00 staff meeting, I learned from a co-worker that AcronymCo was announcing a headcount reduction. She heard it in the news. Nice. How's about letting us employees know first, instead of finding out over our morning Wheaties? I was, apparently, among the last to know. Aforementioned co-worker and I bailed immediately after the meeting, and lingered over soup, salad and breadsticks at The Olive Garden. We ranted a bit about AcronymCo. She ranted a bit about her hub. I ranted a bit about stepmomhood. Upon returning to work, another co-worker (who has been playing a mentor role to me for the last few years) said "Hey, you've been looking mopey lately. Let's go sit in the cafeteria and chat." So I ranted to him about my dissatisfaction with work. He offered some very good advice. I left the conversation feeling much better. *Then* another co-worker stopped by my desk, and we returned to the cafeteria where she proceeded to rant about her boss, my Ex-boss #1 (I mentioned her here, when I took care of her cat). I commiserated with her (apparently Ex-boss #1 hasn't changed in the three years it's been since I worked for her), and tried to offer her some advice. It all basically culminated to "I think it's time you found something different to do." Morale around here is pretty darned low. But! Friday night I went home jamming to George Michael's "Freedom", which always puts me in a good mood. We ordered wings and nachos from Teakwoods, and picked up a couple of videos. We set up the hide-a-bed in front of the TV, and Calvin, Marie and I vegged and ate and watched "Bless the Child" with the dogs piled around us. Saturday morning we levered ourselves out of bed and went out to breakfast. Marie was dropped off at a friend's birthday party, and Calvin and I picked up some housecleaning supplies at Home Depot. We cleaned the whole house from top to bottom in about two hours, and then crashed from 6:30 to 10:00. We woke up again and watched movies (and did other stuff ;) until about 3:00 in the morning. Then Sunday we went out to lunch, but returned home early in the afternoon because I started coming down with this flu. As I was sharing with the folks on my Notify list, by 8:00 I was in a bad way. Calvin, bless his sweet heart, tended me very kindly. I'll spare you the intimate details, but suffice to say I was ill and it wasn't pretty. I stayed home on Monday, and I can't remember any detail of the day other than Calvin saying he'd try to come home early because he'd injured his eye and it was bothering him. TV was watched, but I don't remember what. I was having difficulties with my DSL line, but it was hard to really get worked up over it. I toyed with the idea of writing an entry, and went to sleep instead. Blech. ******************** Before I forget, there's two more entries for Storyteller up. Great, imaginative stuff! And somebody sent me a message saying that my enchiladas worked out well for them. That's the first time I've gotten feedback on my recipes, except for Viv's crock potting adventures. Finally, I've gotten a lot of responses and feedback from my entry on the 6th. They were all thought provoking, and I thank you for taking the time to drop me a line (or in some cases, many lines!). ******************** Calvin and I are trying to get used to having more alone time. Michael is still with his mom, and stops by every now and then to get more of his stuff. He won't tell us what his long range plans are, but it's plain to see that he's leaning toward staying with his mom. We're worried at this, because his mom is enabling him to shirk his responsibilities. He quit his job. He was allowed to skip school a few days last week. She's not reprimanding him when he uses foul language. She's allowing him to (boggle!) drive her truck. She's dropping him off at school and picking him up, instead of making him take the bus like we were doing. His friend has been staying with him the entire time they've been over there, and they're staying up all night playing video games. So it's no wonder that Michael would rather be over there than with us - we enforce rules and try to teach him responsibility. He has a vacation from that when he's with his mom. Marie spent the night at her mom's on Saturday night, and reports back that she really didn't have that good of a time. She's on spring break right now and spent Sunday and Monday night at a friend's house. I think they're coming to *our* house tonight. I'm not sure what Marie's plans are with regards to living arrangements. She's indicated that she doesn't mind spending more time with her mom, but doesn't want to live with her. Yet she misses Michael (even though "he's a jerk sometimes"). I dunno. Things at home seem really surreal at the moment. Calvin and I are trying to give the kids room to find what's best for them, but it's hard. We've had a lot of good dialogue with Marie (and it astounds me sometimes how mature her intellect is), and she understands that while of course we want everyone to be together in our household as a family, we support her right and need to have a good relationship with her mother. The problem is, while X(f) is her *mother*, she's not really that great of a role model (especially taking into consideration what's going on with Michael right now). So, on the one hand we want the kids to have healthy relationships with their mom, but on the other hand we want to prevent anyone from being a bad influence on them. Split households are tough. And, frustrating as the kids can be sometimes, we *miss* them when they're not around. Ah, well, I imagine things will get sorted out sooner or later. It's just... weird... right now. Conversations with Michael seem less *real* than they used to, kind of like he's reluctant to go any deeper than the normal "Hi, how are you?" stuff. And there's not much we can do to *force* things to be better - that's the wrong route to go. And it's not like feelings are bad between us and Michael, just less close. Conversely, things seem to be getting *closer* with Marie, due to some time spent together and good conversations. Families are weird, dynamic things. ********************* What a mess I am. I just read through what I wrote and it doesn't make a darned bit of sense to me. I hope it does to you. As the day progresses I'm feeling foggier and foggier. Conversations are leaking out of my brain as soon as the words are spoken. I feel dizzy when I sit down, and dizzy when I stand up. I've participated in meetings and I have no idea if I spoke coherently or not. I have that feeling you get when you've just realized you've drunk one too many, and you've crossed that line, and you know at some point you're going to end up getting sick but you're still in denial about it. Run on sentences much? I'm going to stop now before I become completely incoherent. I just wanted you all to know I was still here thinking of you. Hopefully I'll get back into my normal writing groove soon. At the moment it's all I can do to lever this chicken and rice soup into my pie hole without spilling it all over me. |