March 21, 2003

Prayers and Plans

The casualties have begun, including Marines who were stationed in Camp Pendelton. Where Michael and Lilly are stationed. Calvin and I are constantly aware of how grateful we are that they aren't directly in harm's way, even though that could change at any time. For now, the two of them are staying in the US and keeping the home fires burning. For Lilly, being pregnant, it will probably remain that way. For Michael, it's not so assured.

It must be difficult for them, watching their friends and fellow Marines leave week after week, wondering if they'll return. We've met a handful of their friends, when they've accompanied Michael during his weekend trips home and brief holiday leaves. We've treated them like our own sons, hung out with them and befriended them and became fond of them. With each personal connection we make with these kids, we add one more person to worry about during this time of conflict.

They're all - the ones we know and the ones we don't know - in our thoughts and prayers every day.

Michael and other graduating Marines, summer 2001

To read about Michael's Boot Camp graduation, go here.

As far as Calvin, Marie and myself are concerned, life is progressing normally. Work is work, school is school (report cards are in and Marie is doing excellently, as usual). The frequency of conversations between the three of us have increased somewhat (I know, you didn't think it was possible), mostly due to the war. Oh, and a startling revelation from Marie that she considers me to be the tougher disciplinarian of her parents (I believe her exact words were that Calvin was "more open minded to adjusting punishment", where I take a more black-and-white stance). So Calvin's teasing me calling me the "bad" parent, and I'm countering by calling him the "easy" parent.

Feedback from one's child on parenting technique is quite eye-opening. I recommend it.

We're considering down-sizing the dog population at our house, a decision I've been grappling with for a while. Gadget is destined to live with Lilly and Michael (he's always been Michael's favorite), and we need to find a home for Kye because she's simply not getting enough attention and isn't really suited for our lifestyle. We're just not home enough to give her the attention she needs. Besides which she's huge, drooling, clumsy, and sheds to an extraordinary degree, so hanging out with us inside the house is, well, out.

Or, we could move to Maine and buy a farm on a handful of acres. That would solve our problem nicely.

Poor puppy. We love her, but we're just not what's best for her. I absolutely WILL NOT take her to a shelter, though. I'm hoping Calvin's mom, who used to raise German Shepherds, will know of a suitable placement for her.

So! At that point we'll be down to Gypsy and Oz. With the amount of traveling we plan to do this summer, two is a much easier number to arrange care for. Plus, the two of them are best friends, and Gypsy is exceedingly well behaved and can become more of an indoor dog.

Why yes, I am trying to justify this decision to myself, thanks for noticing. Gah, I hate guilt. Up until now, my stance has always been that once you get a pet, it becomes part of your family for life.

Speaking of Maine up there, making a move has actually been an idea that Calvin and I have been batting around, lately. Our debt should be paid off right around the same time that Marie graduates from high school. Up until that point, our relatively well-paying jobs are very necessary to get rid of the debt. Our Arizona location (and economy) is necessary to keep our income, plus we don't want to make Marie change schools.

Because, despite its many benefits, the three things Maine lacks most are 1) Jobs; 2) An Economy; and 3) Good Public Schools. Though on that last one, it actually ranks better than Arizona. Which frightens me, considering the pot-smoking, brandy imbibing teachers of my high school experience. Perhaps they've drastically improved in the last eleven years. Marie has expressed an interest in going to the University of Maine at Orono, which is actually an excellent school.

At any rate, I am hugely encouraged that Calvin is open to this idea. We're both being killed by degrees because of the pace of our current lives, and we both have the overwhelming desire to simplify. He liked Maine the few times he's gone, and he's even willing to figure out a way to cope with Winter. His company has several branches in Maine, so there's even the possibility that he'd be able to transfer. Me? I can do anything. Grow flowers (okay, so I'd have to learn that one). Work at a convenience store. Work at the library. Substitute teach. Get a job at a stable. The semiconductor industry doesn't have much to do with Maine; the nearest AcronymCo branch is in Boston. Heh, that'll be funny. I'll have just obtained my Engineering degree and then move to a place where I can't use it. Who knows, maybe there will be some opportunity that isn't making itself known in the current classified ads.

There's a Victorian farmhouse with 4.5 acres and a barn for sale in my home town for $179,500. The fun part is that, due to the aforementioned (lack of) economy, it will probably still be for sale (but cheaper!) when we're ready to move.

Yes, I exaggerate. But barely.

It's a big change, and a little scary to contemplate. But we have three years to plan and prepare (and change our minds, and change them back again). And, really, Maine isn't an absolute must. Someplace quiet, simple, green, peaceful, and near the ocean, is.

Oh, and a high speed Internet connection. Can't forget about that.

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©Laura Charon 2000 - 2003.