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prev home archive next Momentary Thought What color is a chameleon standing on a mirror? High/Low High: Test results in: all negative. Including the pregnancy test. Which I already knew, but it's nice to have professional reassurance. Low: Life in general, seems like today. Nothing to get excited about, or motivated about, or happy about. Current Obsession Shall I just put the "finances" litany on repeat here? Grin Source Calvin's most recent nickname for me. I ain't sharin'. But it makes me grin. Singing "Be good to yourself... nobody else will... whoa-oh, be good to yourself..." Journey Storyteller Bio Dramatis Personnae Who I Read Recipes |
Wow. Am I ever in a bad mood today. ******************** I have a severe case of Chronic Boredom Syndrome. Nothing to look forward to. Nothing to get excited about. Nothin' much of nothin' going on, besides working, paying bills, going to school. Feh. I hate it when I get in moods like this. It's not like life is particularly *bad* at the moment. Just dull as shit. And I feel guilty for feeling that way. I have my health. I have a great home and wonderful family. I have a stable job and enough money to take care of my necessities. I never go hungry. I have clothes to wear. I have health care. When the necessities are taken care of, and have never been an issue, it's easy to forget them as being a positive aspect of your life. I am far and away more fortunate than a great percentage of the population of the world. I realize that. But I'm boooored! [insert whine here] Here's my life. On the weekdays, go to work. Get home, cook dinner, clean up, watch TV. On the weekends, spend the majority of the time carting the kids around. Clean the house, go grocery shopping, watch TV. Maybe read a book, take a bath, take a walk. Woo-frikkin-hoo. When Calvin and I first got together, we had a lot more disposable income to... well, dispose of. We partied our tails off. Went dancing. Went to clubs. Took weekend excursions. The family went to California, Maine, Utah, took ski trips in-state. I had a very fun wardrobe going on. Yes, we made the conscious decision to prioritize our home in our lives. Yes we dumped a HUGE chunk of cash into making our living environment one more conducive to a family. Yes, we knew the bills would mount and we'd have far, far less "play" money. Does that mean I have to give up the right to whine about it? Vacations are far distant in the foreseeable future. Forget about clothes shopping. Christmas has to be very carefully budgeted. Every cent of every paycheck is accounted for before it even hits the account. My life has turned into a never-ending round of work, home, school, home, work, home, school, home... It strikes me as horrifying that the most exciting thing we've done in *months* was going to see "The Mummy Returns" yesterday. And perhaps our excursion to the zoo. God. How depressing. I'm sure everyone who is reading this realizes this is just a vent. I made very conscious decisions that lead to what my life is like today, and they were the right decisions. But I think everyone, at some point or another, wishes they had far less responsibilities and far more fun. I'm twenty-six years old. I should be having more fun. ******************** Okay, I'm just going to go with this bad mood thing. I feel all twitchy and feel like my skin is being stretched over my temper. If that makes any sense. Another 'soccer stampede'. WHAT THE HELL??? I remember fussing over at Squishy about a month ago when 50 people died at a soccer game at Johannesburg, South Africa. Now CNN is reporting that over a hundred people (and counting) have been killed at a soccer game in Ghana. From CNN: It was the fourth soccer disaster in Africa during the past month. Forty-three people were killed on April 11 at a stadium in Johannesburg, South Africa. Another stampede on April 29 killed eight people in Lubumbashi, Congo. On May 6, fighting broke out among fans at a soccer match in Ivory Coast, killing one person and injuring 39. Forgive my profanity for a moment... Jesus. H. Christ. People. It's. A. Mother. Fucking. GAME. I just don't get it. These folks need something else to focus their passions on. I'm sorry, but under no circumstances should the observation of a sporting event turn into a life-or-death situation. They won? So what. We lost? So what. Beating each other to death isn't going to change a call, or a ruling, or the rules of the game. It's not going to make the other team go "Oh, gosh. They're rioting and beating each other. Let's say the other team won." God. I hate people sometimes. ********************** I want my own planet. And on this planet I am the Only Person Allowed To Drive. There are so many dillholes on the road today it boggles the mind. From the idiot guy who rev's his Harley in the AcronymCo parking garage just to set off all the car alarms, to the ancient and decrepit grandpa who weaved and swayed his way along at 30 miles an hour (in a 45 zone) and I couldn't get out from behind him all the way home. Everybody should just get the hell off my road. I told Michael that he needs to hook me up with a Hummer when he gets in the military. ******************** Guess what, folks? At no point during this week will the high temperature be below 100 degrees. That's right! It's started already. I hate the hot weather. HATE it. Despise it. Loathe it. It makes me damp and sticky. It makes me feel vaguely ookey moments after I step out the door. It makes my clothes stick to my back on my three minute drive to work. I don't delicately perspire - glow, if you will - like a lady. Oh no. I sweat. Glorious. Yarg. ******************** Everybody's looking at me cross-eyed because I'm in a bad mood. It happens that rarely. Sure, I get huffy sometimes. Sarcastic a bit. But not teeth-gnashingly pissed off at everything in general and no one or nothing in particular. I actually wanted to throw things today. Ram things (and people) with my truck. Scream and go on screaming. A swearingly bad mood. One that made me twitch, and abruptly rocket my cubicle chair against the wall when I stood up in a blaze. One that made me throw the phone across the room because the damn thing wouldn't give me a dial tone. One that made me squeal the tires as I pulled out of the driveway, on the way to deliver Michael his check from work (which he forgot when he went back to his mom's Monday night). One that made me call Michael's maternal grandmother an unkind word because she was too lazy to come *get* the check, and then take Michael to work (both of which I ended up doing, "since I was there anyway"). I have not taken my bad mood out on Calvin, or Michael, or Marie. I just commented on how really fucked my day has seemed, and managed to turn it into something amusing to them (which was my intent - even in the throes of an evil mood, I can still laugh at myself). I did take it out a little bit on Minerva, but she tossed a hairball, so it's her own fault. I am not a ranting, throwing things, violent tempered sort of person. I'm just not. These moods come once every seven years or so. I really can't remember the last time I felt this grumpified. Good thing for everyone around me, or else I'd be unliveable. Or lonely. Hello! Happy Wednesday! |