May 14, 2003
Fresh Starts
An On Display contribution.
A new jug of milk, a fresh loaf of white bread, an unopened jar of peanut butter, and a virgin jar of raspberry jam. There is no better thing on the face of this Earth than PB+J made this way. Unless it's a perfectly browned grilled cheese sandwich.
Getting between freshly washed sheets, right after taking a shower. You sleep the sleep of the truly blessed, this way. Even better if you're freshly shaved.
Blue jeans, right out of the dryer. They're warm, they're tight, they fit snugly in all the right places. I have been known to come home at lunchtime, take off my jeans, spray them down with water, and fluff them in the dryer for ten minutes just to re-obtain this feeling.
A new journal. Blank lined page after blank lined page, inspiring me to write as neatly as I can for the first four lines, until my thoughts make me forget and I start scribbling again.
Monday morning. At least for the first thirty minutes, I'm motivated to make a list of all the tasks I need to accomplish for the week, and feel confident that I'll achieve at least 30% of them. Kinda works the same for New Year's Day, too.
Sitting down in the living room after cleaning the entire house. I pause, I look around, I sigh in satisfaction. Everything's clean, everything's tidy, the clutter is conquered, there are no odd smells. It'll stay that way for an hour or so, anyway, thereby freeing me of the minute level of guilt I always feel when the house is messy.
Balancing the checkbook. Ahh, the pleasure of having it come out "right", the first time. Ahh, the satisfaction of really, truly knowing where every penny was mis-spent. Ahh, the determination to actually follow the budget the next month. Ahh, the folly, the whimsy, the foolish optimism.
Clearing out the in-box. Answering all the e-mails that need to be answered, deleting all the e-mails that need to be (ignored) deleted. All that emptiness just waiting to be filled with more spam.
Filling the pantry, cupboards, and refrigerator. I am so inspired to cook right after going on a major grocery shopping run. All the healthy foods! All the possibilities! The cheers of delight from my well-fed family (well, yeah, so, not really - more like, "Huh. Thanks."). It's immensely satisfying to the nesting soul in me, to have a full larder.
A much anticipated book. I love the feeling of just beginning to read the very first line on the very first page, and knowing that I should go slowly and savor the words (yeah, I'm a geek about books that I look forward to - especially from my favorite authors). Just the knowledge that the entire book is just stretching out in front of me (which is why I tend to choose books with an ungodly amount of pages - ala Tad Williams, for instance) makes me happy. Same deal with a much anticipated movie - like Harry Potter, or The Lord of the Rings, or The Matrix. I like the previews the most because it means the whole movie is still ahead of me.
The day after an argument. I'm filled with the determination to do better, or make myself understood more clearly, or try harder. I forgive (myself, too) and let go and move on. Each argument is a lesson - in my own feelings and in another's, in what I need and what the other person needs, in how we're alike and how we're (allowed to be) different. The argument closes one chapter, the next day opens a new one.
The first moments after a storm. Stillness returns after the thundering, whipping rain. The world is left with the fresh clean scent, sparkling sunlight glinting off of things that don't normally sparkle at all, and the first brave chirps of birds re-emerging from their hiding places.
My Sabbatical. Sixteen days from now. I shall use the time to get caught up on all the little things I've let slip - around the house, in my relationships, in my projects, in my motivation. The energy I've lost - in all areas of my life - will be regained. And at the end of the summer I'll jump back into "normal" life again with renewed vigor and enthusiasm.
BWAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!!!. Oh. My sides.
This has been an On Display entry about the topic "Fresh Starts".
 
|
