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October 27, 2004Good ThingsBear with me as I wax warm and fuzzy. Hey, it's been a while. Deal. I'll get the ooey-gooey out of the way first. Calvin is the best, the most wonderful, the most amazing husband ever. He knows how to do everything. He gets me totally. He makes me laugh daily. He cooks dinner when I'm on a late teleconference. He brings me coffee in the morning. He tells me I'm pretty. We have great conversations, even if it's about a no-fun topic. He loves that I'm me like I love that he's him. We value our differences. He calls just to hear the sound of my voice. He's my best friend, and the best friend I've ever had. I love him, I love him, I love him. And you know? There's no specific reason why I'm saying this, at this particular moment in time. He hasn't done any heroic acts of romanticism lately. He didn't buy me diamonds or anything. I don't feel like I have to kiss his ass for something I want or something I did. I just want to say these things because I love him. And that fact makes my warm-fuzzy feelings all the cooler. I wouldn't say it was love at first sight - more like I fell in love the first time he really met my eyes with his own. You know how it is with people who are interested in one another - the conversations are mostly held looking in any direction other than into the other's gaze. His very clear straightforward gaze, that caused butterflies in my stomach and goosebumps along my arms. Even now he has that effect on me - and now I see the slight surprise and tiny bit of awe as he looks back, as if startled to find me searching for his eyes at the same time; as if expressing his own "wow" at our connection. He says he loves the way I look at him, and I know exactly what he means. He has a beautiful soul. He lets me look into it every day. Further proof that Calvin knows how to do everything (as if you needed any more proof than these) - he installed a security screen door on our front door ("Look, baby, I'm helping!" as I hand him stuff), so now we can open the door to the beautiful weather we've been having lately and not have to lock the cat up somewhere so he doesn't get out. Oz is fascinated with the ability to see things on that side of the house, formerly barred from his vision. The dogs were petrified of the metallic rattle as it closes for about three days, then got over it and vie for the view with the cat. The screen door is making me happy in that geeky way that I have. Any way to bring the outdoors in, or make things brighter and more airy, or basically add to the nest, give me a deep sense of happiness. I'm a nester by nature. So the only thing that's causing me sadness is the fact that the retractable screen doors we bought for both sets of french doors leading out to the back yard do not fit, and will have to go back. And at the moment we have no obvious solution for what will fit. Sigh. Another thing that's making me geekishly happy is the ability to use our wireless router at home with my laptop. I can teleconference and be on AcronymCo's network at the same time, whereas before I would have to download whatever presentations I needed ahead of time, and couldn't participate in Netmeeting calls because I couldn't be on my dial-up connection and the telephone at the same time. But an intrepid IT guy took over my computer by remote (weird, that), adjusted one little setting, and I suddenly had the ability to connect wirelessly. I can surf the web on my patio. I can chat on TUS in the living room while watching tasteless television. I can write new journal entries and be able to FTP them from my laptop instead of having to save them to disk or e-mail them to myself so I can open/save/FTP from the PC in the bedroom. Most importantly, I can search for and refer to recipes while in my kitchen, instead of having to print/copy things down in the bedroom. It's marvellous. I have embraced my inner geek, and I am not ashamed. Oh, here's some good news that I forgot to post about. A couple of weeks ago I had a therapist appointment, and about fifteen minutes into it she said, "How do you feel about ending our sessions?" I told her I'd been wondering about that, since I didn't really know what we had to talk about. She agreed, saying, "I really don't think there's anything wrong with you!" Which, you know, is gratifying to hear from someone who stands to get paid hundreds of dollars an hour if you do have something wrong with you. I only had four or five sessions and didn't really uncover anything earth-shattering. So my problem really was physiological rather than psychological. I was afraid that was wishful thinking. The drugs (maaan) are working incredibly well. Woot! New recipe! Summer Strawberry Cloud Dessert 2 pkgs. regular or sugar-free strawberry gelatin 2 cups boiling water 1 pkg. regular or sugar-free instant vanilla pudding 2 cups milk 10 oz. angel food cake 1 lb frozen strawberries, thawed 1 container Cool Whip or other whipped topping Cut angel food cake into one-inch squares, place in a 13x9 glass dish. Mix the two packages of strawberry gelatin with two cups of boiling water, stir until thoroughly dissolved. Add thawed strawberries to gelatin and stir. Pour over angel food cake, pressing cake down to absorb gelatin. Try to distribute the strawberries evenly. Place in refrigerator and allow gelatin to set, about one hour. Prepare instant vanilla pudding by whisking with two cups milk. Whisk until thoroughly blended and slightly thickened. Pour pudding over cake and gelatin, covering completely. Allow pudding to set, about 10 minutes. When ready to serve, spread whipped topping evenly over the pudding. Don't forget to submit your guesses for the contest before November 15th! We're running out of room in the pitcher and need to empty it so we can start re-filling it again. Heather is coming out in January! We're going to have the traditional drunken pajama party (a little late as we usually do it for Christmas, but I thought I wouldn't get to do it at all this year and I was bummed... so now, woot!) with the Butterscotch and Bailey's drinks and the tequila shots and the movies and the Magic Cookie Bars and the sliding around on the tile floors in toe socks. Striped ones. People who I wish would update: Shelley. Because the e-mails I send her bounce because her mailbox is full, and I want to see pictures of the baby. Dammit. Elle. Because of TUS, I know her house offer was accepted. But I want DETAILS. PICTURES. Squeeing, since she can't do it in the forums. Jen. Because if she posted an entry, that would mean IT ISN'T OVER. WAAAAAH. Linda. Because I love her stuff. I was going to say Dana, but then she updated. Selila. Because I miss her. Jayne. Because I miss her, too. Terri. Because she was a fixture in my "regular reads regime" for so long that it seems weird to go months at a time without a new entry. And then there's Terry. Who teased with the promise of a return, but will never post often enough to satisfy ME until she's writing three times a day. Sarah. A specific request - I want another episode of Girl's Bike Club. Mo. A specific request - I want another episode of The Sims. Jill. Because I want to know how the AIDS walk went. Comments on this entry? Head on over to Colloquial!
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