November 23, 2000

Too much.

You know what happens when you have too much to write about? You don't end up writing about any of it.

Too much.

There's just too much bouncing around in my head right now. Good stuff. GREAT stuff that I want to write about, but I can't prioritize any of it. And if I wrote about it all, I'd never get anything else done today. Right now I should be working out, but I know I wouldn't give my workout the attention and concentration it requires, because I'd be too impatient to get back to my laptop and WRITE. Write write write. Gotta write. Lordy, my normal 100 WPM has bumped up to 130 with the need to get it all out.

Ack. Gotta make a salad to take to Calvin's grandparent's for Thanksgiving. Nope, gotta write first.

I really should pick up the piles of clothes on the floor. Nope, gotta write first.

My stomach's growling and I have to pee. Nope, gotta write first.

Here's my dilemma - how do I prioritize these?

Spent the day with Marie yesterday - I had a vacation day, and just thought it'd be nice for Marie to have a day off from school, and spend it together. We went to lunch together, went to the library (and I'm re-reading "A Wrinkle in Time", I loved it so as a child), went to the store, came home and dug out all the pictures from the beginning of Calvin's life all the way through to present. Such a nice day, lots of thoughts to talk about...
Those pictures, looking at them, and how they made me feel (Calvin as a teenager. The kids as babies. Pictures of Calvin's ex. Pictures of us as a family together).
Digging out my old journals and wedding pictures from when I was seventeen (dear God). How they made me feel. How one particular journal made Calvin feel upon reading it (it was before we were together and I was lonely for him).
The need to record *every little moment* we have to be grateful for. Calvin's heartbeat. The sound of his voice. Marie's hair in the sunlight. Michael teasing his sister. The desire to slow everything down because it's going by so fast. The fear of dying. The fear of my loved ones dying.
Stories. Lots of stories. Stories half started. Stories that exist only as ideas in my head. Writing exercises and streams-of-consciousness and little dribs and drabs that rattle around in my head. Just because I need to writewritewrite. The bug's hitting me again. Hard.

All this stuff in my head, and the funny thing is that I can write about thinking about writing about them, but I can't actually write about them right now. Did you catch that? I actually want to take my laptop to Calvin's grandparents today and just write about what I observe. He has a very colorful and fun family. That whole stream-of-consciousness thing would work well with them as the topic. I don't think I'd be looked upon very highly, though, if I just sat in the corner tappidy-tapping away all evening.

Okay, I've *got* to go get some things done. To all of you out there (reading me on a Holiday? Wow, that's loyalty), have a very, very happy Thanksgiving. Be safe.

Your Mission, should you choose to accept it...

Today's Mission is a repeat from my last entry, as suggested by Viv. "Ask your oldest living relative to tell you their earliest memory. Don't let them get away with waving their hand at you to make you go away, be interested enough to pursue it a little. If they've remembered it this long, it is bound to be interesting."

Results From Yesterday's Mission

I will have Calvin's grandparents at my mercy at Thanksgiving dinner tonight. I shall interrogate them (heh, just kidding) about their childhood memories, and knowing them, they'll keep up the conversation for hours. Hmm... maybe I *should* bring my laptop to get it all down. That's my excuse and I'm sticking to it.

Suggest A Mission, or Tell Me About Yours.

I grabbed the design idea for the box thingy from Anna.

Where do you want to go?
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