December 3, 2002
To (insert whomever here)
A WordGoddess contribution
Dear Ben Folds,
I don't know if that's the lead singer's name, or the name of the band. I'd hate to perpetuate the whole Jethro Tull thing ("It's the name of the singer!" "No, it's the name of the band!"). Either way, you just need to know that you make me bob my head while I'm at work. You're upbeat, even when you're not happy. You're poetic in a way that nobody is anymore (good morning sun, I am a bird wearing a brown polyester shirt). You're simple. I feel like I can sing along without ever having heard the song before.
"The Luckiest" makes me cry. It's all Jessie's fault that I found you at all.
You rawk. You should know that.
Sincerely,
A Fan
Dear 3:00 Meeting,
I'm going to fall asleep. It's nothing personal.
Tiredly yours,
Laura
Dear Grammy,
Your picture is on my desk. It's of you when you were nineteen. It's the picture that made me realize how much I look like you.
And now I realize I see you every time I smile in the mirror. Which makes me want to smile more. And now I'm looking for more in me that is from you, and look! There's so much. I never figured it out before.
I really, really miss you. I love you.
Your little Laura
Dear AB,
Hey! Hope you had a great Thanksgiving. Calvin and I are thinking of you, and hoping all is well with you. We need to get together before the holidays, I have loot for you and your kiddo! Besides, there are oatmeal cookie shots to be drunk.
Call me!
Laura
Dear Oz,
I'll put you in your box, and we'll go for a ride in the truck, and on the other side of that ride you'll see all the nice vet ladies who were so charmed with you before. Except that this time, they're going to do very, very mean things to you. There are parts of you, boy parts that you're no doubt very fond of, that will not be coming home with you again.
As an aside, I wonder what they do with them?
Anyway, I thought it was only fair to warn you, even though you attacked my head and scratched my leg this morning, climbing me like a tree. The entire household is hoping you'll calm the hell down once your little "procedure" is over with. Really, we love you, but what the hell?!? I've never seen such a freak out cat as you.
You can run, but you can't hide (or we'll let Kye in),
Mumma
To the AcronymCo Cafe:
How stupid is it that you close at 2:00? It's 4:00, I'm hungry, and do you know how hard it is to eat yogurt with a fork?
Annoyedly yours,
Anonymous AcronymCo Employee
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