We got new DVD's in the mail of the Bee Gees in concert and Barbara Streisand in concert. We hung out in the living room horsing around with the boys and watching the new DVD's (plus cracking out Phil Collins while we were at it). There was much dancing and the flinging about of limbs. Click on the pic for more photographic evidence of our Dorkdom.

Posted by Laura at 8:06 PM | Permalink | Comments

This weekend Calvin and I cut the dead tree down in the front yard. Well, he cut the tree down, I stacked debris. It was all very Urban Lumberjack.

We watched Slither, which was much better than I thought it would be. Of course, I'm a HUGE fan of Nathan Fillion, so there's little he can do wrong in my eyes. He's always good for some fun DVD extras, too. He had me at Caleb (and if you can spot THAT reference you're a bigger geek than I, and I love you forever for it).

Calvin had a little too much tequila and took the hair trimmer to his head. Chaos ensued. His hair chickie (whom he visited to repair the damage) said he was too old for that kind of nonsense. I think it makes him endearing.

I have downloaded many, many, MANY trashy romance novels. You'd think that would keep me in reading material for some time to come, but it seems that it only takes me a couple of hours now to consume your standard-length novel. In related news, I continue to love this site.

The holidays are once again looming around the corner. Since it seems that it's going to be a very quiet, kid-free Christmas this year (more on that later), I asked Calvin if we should even have a tree. He looked at me as if I'd grown another head and said, "We will ALWAYS have a tree." Who knew he was so passionate about it? Especially since he only randomly helps pick one out, and NEVER helps decorate it, and bitches and complains the whole time he sets it up in the stand and bitches and complains the whole time he takes it back down and bitches and complains the whole time in between about needles all over the place. God bless the Merry Gentleman.

In related news, thus far I have listened to "O Holy Night" (Josh Groban's version, which long time readers will recall is rated a "10" on my Goosebump Scale) three times in the last week. As the holiday season ramps up, that rate will probably increase to three times daily.

I had a random ponderance the other day. If human beings did not wear clothes and were bald, what other ways would we use to express our personality and individuality? How would remain uniquely ourselves on a day to day basis? Discuss.

Latest iPod additions:

Los Lonely Boys - 10 songs
OK Go - 7 songs
"Sheep go to Heaven, Goats go to Hell" - Cake
Grey's Anatomy Soundtrack - 25 songs
Sarah Mclachlan - 8 songs
"We Trying to Stay Alive" - Wyclef Jean
"Slow Ride" - Foghat
"If Tragedy's Appealing, then Disaster's an Addiction" - Moneen
"Keep Ya Head Up" - Tupac
"O Mio Babbino Caro" - Andre Rieu
"Puccini Nessun Dorma" - Andrea Bocelli & Luciano Pavarotti
"Call Me When You're Sober" - Evanescence
"Si volvieras a mi - Josh Groban
"Born to Run" - Bruce Springstein

Apparently when it comes to my taste in music, I have Tourettes.

Everybody's favorite, Search Engine Hits!

321 fall foliage
114 sky
70 edemame
61 snerkology
33 well
29 flowers
27 ferarri
22 chinese water dragons
21 moon
20 baboon
18 lose my mind up in here
17 red living room
15 eagle globe and anchor
14 restaurant
12 parrots
11 honda cbr 929
10 undergrowth
9 platoon
9 gilamonster
9 owls

Posted by Laura at 8:58 AM | Permalink | Comments

I'm hookah'ed.

Last night, Lilly and Marie kindly invited me to join them at a nearby hookah bar to hang out for a couple of hours. Lilly and I followed Marie up there (so a certain old person could go home at bed time, allowing the young and hip to hookah the night away), and Lilly has a couple of cheesy-shameful grin-shots of me on her digital camera, as well as one of my best Cousin It impersonations as the wind from the open windows caused my vision to be hazardously diminished by my blowing hair. I shall steal them as soon as she puts them on her MySpace page.

So this place is kind of dingy, kind of seedy, kind of beatnik. I reminded myself that I am a young thirty-two, and settled with the girls on one of the be-cushioned platforms. Marie ordered up a pipe with the air of a person who has done this more than once, "Strawberry-peach-mango, just one hose please." When the pipe arrived, she arranged the coals on top and puffed away to get the pipe going. Then she handed the hose to me and with an evil grin said, "You have to suck it hard."

Expected risque laughter ensues.

It wasn't at all like I expected. I figured it would taste something like the cigars Calvin and I have been indulging in lately (hot and woody with the flavor left on the lips but not on the palate), but what I got instead was a cool smoky infusion of (shock!) strawberry, mango, and peach. The smoke was very cool and didn't rasp the throat, and it was thick and heavy and drifted quite sexily from the mouth. It dispersed immediately instead of hanging around to be annoying.

We ordered up a bit of food and some sodas, and sat passing the hose around, gabbing, and saying hi to Marie and Lilly's friends who frequent the place. I really enjoyed it, and I'm going to drag Calvin over there sometime. I have a feeling he'd like it, too. I mentioned this to the girls, and Lilly said, "Oh NO. Now you know where to find us."

Nothing like crashing a daughter's hide-out to make you feel young.

Posted by Laura at 10:27 AM | Permalink | Comments

Based off of a conversation I had with Calvin Saturday evening while he was playing DJ, following is our latest Amazon order:

Desert Vision by David Lanz and Paul Speer

Barbara Streisand - Timeless: Live in Concert

Bee Gees - One Night Only

I'd love some theories on what this selection says about us.

Posted by Laura at 9:21 AM | Permalink | Comments

Gadget has received a clean bill of health from the vet. He has regained, I'd say, about 90% of his motor skills back, though sometimes his hind end doesn't perform to the speed of his front end. He's back to hanging out with Gypsy in the yard instead of being confined to his crate, though we still need to keep an eye on him and make sure he doesn't overdo. He seems to understand that he needs to keep his feet planted instead of jumping around all the time - I think I've actually seen him remind himself not to jump when I'm letting him in and out of the house. I found a no-jump harness and some dog boots to help him (and probably Gypsy as well - how fair would it be to get Gadget some bitchin' boots and not get Gypsy some as well?) find purchase on the tile. Heh. The first time the cat gets chased by the dogs while they're wearing those, he's in for a shock. Oz's head start will be rather diminished, I think.

Posted by Laura at 12:17 PM | Permalink | Comments

I was happy to talk to Heather yesterday. I seem to talk to her only on my cell when I'm going grocery shopping. That habit began when she happened to call me, like, three times in a row while I was in the grocery store. Now we do it on purpose. This is how traditions get started. And I must say, it makes grocery shopping a whole lot more interesting.

There's something wrong with me. An Adam Sandler movie made me cry. Or maybe I had one too many tequila shots. Also, I'm not sure that I particularly cared for the third installment of X-men. Next up is The Lake House, the entertainment value of which I am skeptical about, if only because of The Keanu Factor(tm). But, we shall see. In related news, NetFlix continues to rawk.

I've been sick since last Wednesday, and am just now beginning to feel like myself again. I completely blame my illness on the plethora of DNA beasts currently residing in the household.

I have a new boss at AcronymCo. My former boss accepted a position outside of the company, which is good for him but wah for me. He's been a great manager. My new manager is a good guy, though. He's been the manager of the companion side of our organization, so I'm familiar with him. Business as usual, but our cubicle isle continues to lose inhabitants. I think we should construct a sort of rumpus room in place of our isle, toss some bean bags and posters in there, and everybody in the group hang out together with our laptops. Maybe throw in a radio and some board games, and it would totally be a positive work environment.

I've been looking for work that I can do from home, to supplement our income and help us pay off debt faster. Thus far I have investigated transcription and various "Be Your Own Boss!" "opportunities", trying to weed out the hacks and find something legitimate. I don't want to add to my hours outside of the house if I don't have to, though there is a collections company near my house that is hiring for $15/hour, with the shift being Monday through Thursday, 5pm-9pm. I might be able to handle that, I don't know. Anything to continue our plans to simplify our lives over the next 18 months or so. The more debt we have paid off by the time we sell the house, the more money we'll have to put down roots somewhere else.

I've been having fun adding to my 43 Things (see also the right hand frame under "Stuff"). Who knew I had so many goals in life? So many interests? Such a depth of character? Such a depth of bologna?

Robert and Devlin have been emphasizing their drama by throwing themselves to the ground (or, even more dramatically, slowly wilting to the floor) when the circumstance warrants. It's not accomplishing what they want, though, since it only makes us crack up.

Current TV lineup includes: Grey's Anatomy (of course, and my interest has now grown to an obsession because now I'm even DREAMING about the show, which doesn't suck because Patrick Dempsey inevitably shows up at some point and does something, well, McDreamy), CSI, ER, Jericho (good show!), Heroes (another good show!), Medium (when it starts up again in November), Desperate Housewives, and Criminal Minds. DVR is absolutely priceless on Thursday nights - I can watch Grey's Anatomy while DVR-ing CSI, then watch CSI while DVR-ing ER. Techno-geek ecstasy, I tell you.

I've somewhat relaxed my self-imposed dietary restrictions, having not seen as much progress as to make me think said restrictions were that significant to my body. Hmm... that sounded stuffy. I've lightened up because that shit wasn't working well enough to make the sacrifice worth it. While I'm not consuming bread and cheese to the extent I used to, I no longer go through life completely grilled cheese-less. Because really, what kind of life is that? But, since it seems that I must be obsessed about something, health-wise, I shall now attempt to obsess over exercise. Since the weather is now below a hundred-fuck-twenty degrees (channeling Louis Black for a moment), maybe the misery will stave off long enough for me to make a habit out of it. We shall see.

And that's the news about my exciting life. "You better blow that shit out..."

Posted by Laura at 11:33 AM | Permalink | Comments

Prompted by Dana's entry about the contents of her Amazon Gold Box, I thought I'd take a gander and see what sort of impression I made with Amazon via my buying habits.

1. Live Aid: 4 Disc DVD Set

2. The Eagles Farewell Tour: Live from Melbourne (DVD)

3. Pulsar Men's Tech Gear Flight Computer Watch

4. The Emancipation of Mimi - Mariah Carey CD

5. 18k Yellow Gold Diamond Stud Earrings

6. Queen Greatest Video Hits I (DVD)

7. Get Lifted - John Legend CD

8. Genesis - The Way We Walk Live in Concert (DVD)

9. Elton John - One Night Only (Madison Square Garden) DVD

10. Peter Gabriel - Play: The Videos (DVD)

As I suspected. Nothing interesting. Not like Dana's!! Gee, I wish Amazon thought I was crazy...

Posted by Laura at 8:46 AM | Permalink | Comments

Stolen from Robyn:

1. The phone rings. Who do you want it to be?

I don't really like to talk on the phone. Besides which, in THIS household? The phone is very rarely for me. I guess I'd say that if the phone rings and it's for me, I'll be grateful if it's not a telemarketer.

2. Do you take compliments well?

I didn't take them well at all when I was young - doing the "nuh-uh" thing until I annoyed whoever complimented me and they wanted to take it back. I think I'm better about it now.

3. Do you like to ride horses?

Long time readers know the answer to THAT question.

4. What was your favorite game as a kid?

"Capture the Flag", "Ghost in the Graveyard", and "Hide-n-Seek" as outdoor group games, "Life" and "Monopoly" as board games. "Frogger", "Space Invaders", and "Centipede" on the Atari.

5. Can you speak another language?

I can't speak another language, but I'm pretty good at translating the grandbabies' jawa language.

6. What is your favorite children’s book?

The Little House series, the Dark is Rising series, pretty much everything by Roald Dahl.

7. When was the last time you were at Olive Garden?

A couple of weeks ago for a co-worker's going away lunch. The Soup Salad and Breadsticks lunch is just about perfect.

8. What are your keys on your key chain for?

The truck, the front door, the bedroom door, and my office desk.

9. What’s your favorite color?

Blue.

10. Where is your current pain at?

I've been kicking my own ass this week working out, so I pretty much ache all over.

11. Do you look like your mom or dad?

My uncle says I resemble my mother.

12. What movie do you want to see right now?

X-Men III, Over the Hedge, that new movie with Hugh Jackman, the next Harry Potter (please), and more that I can't think of. I have a bunch on my NetFlix list.

13. Do you put lotion on your dog or cats?

What a weird-ass question.

14. What did you do for New Year’s?

Ate munchies, drank a lot, and watched TV at home.

15. Do you think The Grudge was scary?

Not even a little. And I don't like SMG in anything other than Buffy.

16. What was the cause of your last accident?

Well, I was taking Gadget out back to let him do his business, and I had to support his hind end with an ace bandage. He was getting ahead of me and went under a tie that was holding a palm tree up, secured at the other end to the deck. I tried to step over it and keep up with him, but I snagged my foot and took a header into the rocks.

17. What do you buy at the movies?

Diet Coke and Junior Mints.

18. What do you wear to sleep?

I'm either nekked or I wear a long T-shirt.

19. Anything big ever happen in your hometown?

In Phoenix? Umm... well, the Cardinals lose a lot. In New Gloucester (Maine), the annual Opportunity Farm open house. Bright lights, big city.

20. Do you use cuss words in other languages?

I would LOVE to have that ability. I think if I used merde, people would laugh at me.

Posted by Laura at 7:14 PM | Permalink | Comments

I'm watching Duran Duran live at Wembley Stadium courtesy of INHD2. They're still tight and clearly enjoying their renaissance. Since they saw the resurgence of the 70's come and go, they must have been preparing for their come-back for the last five years.

I want to see a concert at Wembley before I die.

Posted by Laura at 7:09 PM | Permalink | Comments

To any and all of you HTML/blog template gurus out there, there's a couple of changes I want to make to my site and I can't figure out how to do it.

1. I want to make the font darker than the light gray that I see.

2. I want to decrease the indent of my list of "things I am doing" in the right hand frame to match the indent that is present for the Archives and Last Posts.

Does anybody want to view my source code and maybe take a shot at how I can accomplish those two things? You will have my everlasting gratitude.

Posted by Laura at 2:43 PM | Permalink | Comments

My favorites from a list tacked to my cubicle wall:

2) I don't know what your problem is, but I bet it's hard to pronounce.

4) I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.

10) Ahh... I see the screw-up fairy has visited us again.

14) I am already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.

15) I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.

17) The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist.

22) Yes, I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial.

26) I started out with nothing and still have most of it left.

27) Sarcasm is just one more service that we offer.

28) If I throw a stick, will you leave?

30) Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.

35) Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it?

36) Chaos, panic, and disorder... my work here is done.

39) Who lit the fuse on your tampon?

40) Oh... I get it. Like humor... but different.

Posted by Laura at 2:00 PM | Permalink | Comments

"Hey baby, how's it going?"
"Eh. It's going."
"What's the matter?"
(grunt)
(sigh) "I should have married a cheerful man."
"There's still time, baby."
"No, no there isn't. I'm stuck. For life."
(grunt)
"You should be more like me! I'm inherently cheerful."
"What's there to be cheerful about?"
"What's there to be NOT cheerful about? I wake up in the morning in a good mood, and I stay that way until something specific happens to put me in a bad mood."
"See, that just makes you dingy."
"I'm not dingy! I'm the smartest person you know."
(long pause)
"Stop trying to think of someone smarter!"
"Well, you do agree with me most of the time."
"Oh, and agreeing with you makes me smart?"
"No, it makes you wise."

Posted by Laura at 9:27 AM | Permalink | Comments

Hi all. Gadget is improving daily - it's now hard to keep up with him, keep him mellow, and keep him from jumping. So! Since he's GOT to stay down on all fours, does anybody know of some sort of harness or device that we can put on him to keep him from being able to jump or rear up on his hind legs? I've looked on the 'net and can't seem to really find anything. I did find some back braces and dog boots that will help him grip on the tile.

Any advice anyone can offer would be appreciated.

Posted by Laura at 12:07 PM | Permalink | Comments

Update on Gadget.

I got up this morning and opened his crate to take him out, and he had peed again during the night. I carried him outside and set him on the grass, and barely had time to put the ace bandage under him to support his hind legs when he went off at a fast wobble.

He followed Gypsy all over the yard and a couple of times I had to run to keep up with him. He can't locomote that fast without my support, but he's moving his legs quite a bit better today.

He peed again outside but poo has yet to happen. And where he rested in his crate without a fuss last night, today he wants out.

I'm carefully optimistic. He's not out of the woods yet and could relapse at any time, but after the past couple of days it's good to see some of his normal behavior coming back.

Long-term, if he recovers enough to lead a normal life, we have to make sure that he always takes things slowly and never jumps again.

Let me repeat that for my readers who have met Gadget or who are familiar with the Mini-Pin breed. He will never be allowed to jump again. Since he's spent more time bouncing up in the air than moving forward on all four pins, it's going to prove to be difficult to keep him earthbound.

Plus, he slips around on the tile a lot when he's messing around and playing. Does anybody know of any doggie socks with traction that I can get for him?

We're off to the vet again in a couple of hours, I'll keep everyone appraised. Thanks so much for all of you who have expressed your concern, it means a lot!

Posted by Laura at 8:49 AM | Permalink | Comments

Last night as I opened the gate to the back yard to let the dogs in, I saw Gadget dragging his hind legs and yelping. I assumed he was having another seizure. He's been having very mild seizures for the past few years, where he'll stiffen completely, stick his tongue straight out of his mouth, and bulge out his eyes.

So I held him and calmed him, but he didn't regain the use of his hind legs. He acted stressed, but he ate just fine and was completely alert, so we pampered him and held him while we watched TV, and he slept in his usual spot when we all went to bed.

This morning, however, he still hadn't regained the use of his hind legs. So I called the vet and dropped him off for the day. The vet called back and told us that she didn't think the lack of use of his legs was related to a seizure, but to a back injury. She did x-rays and blood work, and found a slipped disc in his back that was compressing his spinal cord and making him lose his motor functions. She said the swelling was severe and if she couldn't get it to reverse through medication, Gadget would have to have surgery. Even surgery might not be successful. Best case scenario the swelling would reverse and he would regain the use of his legs. Worst case the paralysis was progressive and would continue to move to other areas of his body. At which point, we'd "have a choice to make".

So. I freaked out, of course. The vet said she would continue to monitor him through the day - the most telling evidence of the severity of his condition would be whether or not he could urinate on his own. If yes, the paralysis hadn't progressed past his legs. If no, the paralysis was moving through his body and taking away its functionality at the involuntary level.

We communicated throughout the day, and at 5:00 we went to pick him back up. He was moving his legs a bit, though he still couldn't coordinate movement or support his weight. A telling sign of Gadget's condition was when the vet deomonstrated that Gadget "didn't know where is legs were". She'd bed his paw forward so that the top of it rested on the floor and his pads were facing upward (like standing on the top of your foot instead of the bottom). Instead of instantly correcting it like a normal dog would, he just left it there.

She showed us how we could support his hind end with a towel while he stood up and tried to walk. She gave us some pain killers, swelling reducers, and muscle relaxers. Gadget absolutely can not be allowed to move around at all, so he has to stay in his crate unless we're holding him or carrying him outside to support him (I found an ace bandage works better than a towel) while he does his business.

He never urinated while at the vet's, but he went in his crate on the towels we lined it with, so at least we know that part works. He ate his dinner really well (the dogs know they're getting pampered when I make them rice and scrambled eggs). He seems to be comfortable and relaxed, and took his muscle relaxer like a good little man. We're supposed to take him back again tomorrow morning.

If he's going to improve, it should show itself markedly in the next week. If that doesn't happen, we'll have to assess his quality of life and maybe make the hard decision.

I HATE this part of pet ownership. My poor little guy.

Posted by Laura at 8:20 PM | Permalink | Comments

Full episodes of Grey's Anatomy on-line.

Productivity? Whut's that?

Posted by Laura at 3:44 PM | Permalink | Comments

A couple of days ago, I came home from work, took off my shoes, and flopped face down across my bed. Robert followed me, and clambered up onto the bed to lie beside me and face me. The TV was playing in the living room. All of a sudden, Robert turned to me and declared, "Pizza!" I stared at him, baffled, and then heard a Pizza Hut commercial playing in the background.

Tonight, we were all sitting in the living room watching "Deal or No Deal." The time in the show came along where it was time to open up one of the cases to see how much money it contained. Robert waited for Howie to do his lead up, then said in COMPLETE UNISON with the host, "Open the case!"

This morning I was sitting on the bed doing some work. The phone rang and I picked up -- it was Calvin. Then, we heard another extension being picked up. We both said, "Hello?" We heard breathing, then Devlin's little voice, "Gampa? Hi Gampa!" What followed was a bunch of 22-month-old baby lingo as he told us all about his morning.

Posted by Laura at 7:34 PM | Permalink | Comments