I find it amusing that, according to the personality test that I posted in the last entry, I scored the same (63%) on "religious" and "hedonism". I clicked on the hyperlinked definitions for each category, and this is what they have to say (I bolded those things that I particularly agree with):

Hedonism: willing to break the law if the monetary benefit is great enough, likes tattoos, likes strip clubs, prone to substance abuse, prone to shoplifting, thinks marijuana should be legalized, not opposed to breaking laws, promiscuous, prone to cheat in relationships, kinky, likes to dress provocatively, believes pleasure should play a central role in life, can be crude, believes religion is foolish (author's note: um, then why the same score on "religious"?), does not worry about consequences of actions, addictive tendencies, more a night person than a day person, erotic, more likely to have been on anti-depressants, gets attention through negative behavior, reckless with money, prone to nihilism (author's note: I had to look that up, it means 1. total rejection of established laws and institutions. 2. anarchy, terrorism, or other revolutionary activity), unpredictable, self destructive

Religious: closest confident is a Higher Power, has more belief than doubt, prefers to let religion not themself decide the meaning of their life, opposed to strip clubs (author's note: HAH!), believes that life is meaningful, reveres holidays and traditions, considers themself very spiritual, more likely to be politically conservative, opposed to euthanasia, fears being corrupt or evil, old fashioned, thinks abortion should be outlawed, has faith things will work out, would sacrifice their life for a good enough cause, caring, honest, generous, prude, modest, drawn to public service, purposeful

Apparently, I am conflicted and I didn't even know it.

Labels: meme

Posted by Laura at 10:10 AM | Permalink | Comments

Stability results were high which suggests you are very relaxed, calm, secure, and optimistic..

Orderliness results were high which suggests you are overly organized, reliable, neat, and hard working at the expense too often of flexibility, efficiency, spontaneity, and fun.

Extraversion results were high which suggests you are overly talkative, outgoing, sociable and interacting at the expense too often of developing your own individual interests and internally based identity.

trait snapshot:

clean, likes large parties, outgoing, makes friends easily, optimistic, positive, social, high self control, traditional, assertive, rarely irritated, self revealing, open, finisher, high self concept, controlling, rarely worries, tough, likes to stand out, does not like to be alone, semi neat freak, fearless, dominant, trusting, organized, resolute, strong, practical, craves attention, adventurous, hard working, respects authority, brutally honest, realist, altruistic

Labels: blogkeeping, meme

Posted by Laura at 11:26 AM | Permalink | Comments

Reader Megan, who lives near me and yet we have never met which is a shame, also answered the request for topics. She writes:

"Jean asked some of the same things I've been wondering about. Thanks for opening yourself up! They really are coffee table subjects--what an apt description. But I've also--what happened to Sideburns? I think you mentioned it once or twice a long time ago and when I saw it turning into...what is it, Asain now...I just wondered. Also, did you end up doing the Three Day? If so, how was it? If not, why not? Also, have you ever tried making an oil crust? It is much easier than a traditional crust and I think about as tasty, though probably more caloric. I could send you the recipe if you haven't tried one. It's just Better Homes and Gardens though, if you have that cookbook. Finally--thanks for the Dance Bitches! CD. It arrived on my due date for #3 who is now one and by the time I was up and about for sending thank yous, it just seemed too late..."

Sideburns was Calvin's mom's restaurant in downtown Chandler. She and her husband decided to get out of the restaurant business (and I sure do miss their burgers, and chili, and potato salad, and...). They sold to a person who did indeed turn the place into an Asian restaurant. I haven't been in there yet... I don't know, would it seem disloyal or something? Anyway, the restaurant business was certainly taking its toll on my MIL and her husband; they're doing model home cleaning now and I think they like that better.

I did not end up doing the Three Day Walk for Breast Cancer last November, and I was sorry to make that decision. I'm going to have to have surgery on my feet at some point soon, and they would never be able to hold up over three days and sixty miles. When I talked to my doctor about it last summer, he said that while the cause was wonderful, it would really be bad on my feet and probably make surgery more urgent. Bunions. Gotta hate 'em. They've totally changed the shape of my feet and I've really got to be careful what I wear and how much I walk, or else I'm in agony ("Aaaah-goooone-eeeeee").

I've never heard of oil crust, but I'm willing to try anything. I'm still relying on Pillsbury and their insta-crusts. And I don't mind the increased calories - you've got to assume that anything that requires a crust probably isn't wholly healthy, anyway. I mean, to me crust = pie. With ice cream. And whipped cream.

I'm really glad that everyone seemed to like the "Dance, Bitches!" CD I sent out last year. I'm toying with the idea of doing another mix CD, maybe compiling songs suggested by readers and sending them out to everyone. Judiciously peppered with songs of my own liking, of course. For instance, I am a newly minted fan of the Dropkick Murphys after watching "The Departed" last night and then immediately having the need to download "I'm Shipping up to Boston".

Thanks so much, Megan, for playing along! I've got to say I'm really having fun with the reader questions, so I hope they keep coming. Again with the subtle hints...

Labels: journal

Posted by Laura at 10:40 AM | Permalink | Comments

In my last entry I sent a request for readers to suggest topics that they would like to know about. Long-time reader Jean responded asking how personal the questions could be. I told her to fire away, and she wrote back:

"Well, for instance....I wonder how the whole Lily/Michael divorce thing came about. I'm curious to know if you have any struggle with the decision to not have children. I want to know if you're still friends with Heather. I'm curious about your sister and how her life goes. See? Personal stuff that you would share with a good friend over coffee (or adult beverage, if you weren't so conscientious about your figure.....)."

I really appreciate the interest, so I am going to respond to each question.

I don't think it came as a shock to anyone when Lilly and Michael decided to separate. We were certainly hoping that things would work out, but a lot of factors were working against them - marrying so soon after meeting (they met in November and married in January), being married so young (she was 18 and he was 19), having a military marriage (which statistically do not last long, though there are some fantastic relationships out there that defy that particular statistic), having so many kids so young and so close together (Robert came in September of their first year together, Devlin came 14 months after that, Roman arrived 16 months after that). Plus, they just plain ol' didn't get along. They were abrasive to one another, kind of fought like brother and sister, and played relationship games that are best left behind in high school. Like I said, too young for marriage and kids.

We tried to offer the best advice and help that we could, and we were all hoping things would get better once they left the military (June of '06) and moved back home. But things didn't get better, and Lilly left with the boys back in October to move back to her parents' home in Texas. Which of course upsets us here in AZ, since we never see the boys and repeated requests for pictures from Lilly of the boys have thus far yielded no results. Hmm. I'm going to have to call her today and get on her about that.

Which kind of leads into the next question of, how goes my decision not to have children. I will say that having the grandsons around nurtured that maternal part of me that wanted to have babies. I was knee-deep in babies there for a while (see this entry, and this entry, and this entry, and this entry, and this entry, and this entry, and this entry, and this entry, and this entry, and this entry). It was mostly heavenly, occasionally frustrating, and certainly a good dose of babyness. Plus, I've had the raising of Marie and Michael since they were young, so I thwarted my maternal instincts with them as well.

At this moment in time, I am very okay with not having kids of my own with Calvin. I'm fond of saying, "If people had to raise teenagers first, nobody would be having babies." And I really think that's true. I would say that years 0 through 5 are the best years to experience parenthood, and it goes steadily downhill from there. Which isn't to say that parenting stops being rewarding and nice and dandy after the child turns five... you just have to try harder to "look for the jewels", as my former mother-in-law would say it. You have to try harder to see the good, to be positive, and to enjoy the parenting ordeal process. I'm very cynical about my kids right now (I've never been one to attach the "step" moniker onto how I address Michael and Marie - they're as much mine as they are their biological mom's, if not more). I'm sure as they become less frustrating, my pleasure in parenting them will return.

I would like at this point to make very clear that I am NOT a child hater, and I do not in any way share the feelings of that weirdo group of "Child-Free" people that have bothered Rob on occasion. Really, I just feel like I've had kids and I am now in the stage in which I am eagerly anticipating comfortable with them leaving the nest.

Let's see, what's next? Ah, yes, Heather. Yes, she and I are still really good friends, and I miss her all the time. BUT! She's coming to Arizona for a mutual friend's wedding in March and so I'll get to hang out with her and knock back a couple of ciders at Rula Bula. She doesn't update often enough to make me happy (grr... arrg...), and she's gone through a rough couple of months with the details of her life, but for the most part she's good and I CAN'T WAIT to see her and get caught up.

I'm curious about my sister and how her life goes, too. We don't talk very often, but when we do it's a whirlwind conversation of what mischief she's been up to, what mischief her kids have been up to, and how crazy their life is at that particular moment in time. She's on the Board of Selectmen in her town, and she's usually the lone voice voting against the majority. I'll say one thing about my sister, she's got a STRONG moral compass and the stuff she's been up to is all Erin Brockovich in epic-ness. Some of her opinions and actions have made her rather unpopular with the other members of the Board and other town officials. She's very popular with the town's residents, though - the last conversation I had with her, she was considering running for re-election this spring. Originally she was going to stop at the end of this term, but so many people asked her to run again that she thinks she will. It's amusing to read the meeting minutes of the board meetings - it's not too hard to read between the lines and see that my sister (and sometimes her husband, who regularly attends the selectmen meetings to support her) is pissing people off. And that makes me proud. She's pissing the right people off about the right kinds of things. Maybe she'll run for Mayor next. That would be cool.

Calvin and I are really looking forward to seeing my sister and her family when we go to Maine in May. Though in order to get completely caught up with them, I should have scheduled an extra week of vacation. Still, a short visit is better than no visit at all.

This was fun! Thanks to Jean for asking such great questions. I hope more readers will e-mail me or leave comments with more topic suggestions.

Gee, that wasn't a very subtle hint, was it?

Labels: journal

Posted by Laura at 9:19 AM | Permalink | Comments

Calvin turned me onto this group called "Blue October". I really like their song, "Into the Ocean" and I highly recommend it to iPod owners everywhere.

Ho.ly. Shit. I pulled my credit report and Calvin's credit report from Equifax, with the intent of cleaning things up, making sure our identities are not being thieved, etc. My report is 73 pages long. Calvin's is just as long but I'm not going to count the exact number of pages in his packet because doing that once in my lifetime is enough. Now begins the exciting work of looking at every single entry, verifying the information, and then contesting the crap entries with the THREE reporting agencies. Who use different forms to contest things. Oh, my life is so. much. fun.

Some things:

Britney Spears' hair, or lack thereof. She figures she's been out of the news for long enough, so now she has to do something to get back into the public eye that doesn't involve bodily endangering her children (this time). And also, she's an idiot. And probably drug addicted. But mostly, she's an idiot.

Sting should totally bag the whole rock-n-roll bit and stick entirely to singing in Gaelic. However, he has my permission to delay this genre switcheroo long enough to go on his reunion with The Police. Tickets go on sale Monday...

OH! Speaking of reunions, Genesis is getting back together, complete with Phil Collins. You've GOT to know that we'll be snarfing up tickets as soon as they're available.

I approve of reunion tours, much more than repeating a "farewell tour" six or seven times (Cher, I'm looking at you).

Labels: journal, misc

Posted by Laura at 3:47 PM | Permalink | Comments

Calvin will need to decide if he wants a skinny chick, or a chick who drinks. Because, unfortunately (and hopefully only temporarily), he can't have both. I've been cutting back on my drinking to aid in the shrinkage of Ye Olde Waystelyne, and every time I refuse a beer or a whisky or a wine, he looks at me all cock-eyed.

I still accept all offers of heroin, however. Heroin = skinny!

Today is Wednesday. I've almost made it to Thursday. Or, as I call it, "Grey's Anatomy-day". I have some predictions that I have voiced to my family members. I have an uncanny ability to predict what's going to happen in a TV show or movie. If my predictions for Thursday's episode come true, my streak as Head Idiot Savant remains unbroken.

It's a toss-up in our household as to which animal is the most stupid. Gadget and the Waterdragon Currently Known As Nameless are neck-and-neck. Gadget, with his busted out back and his propensity toward seizures, still operates under a single speed - breakneck. When we let him in, I can't count the number of blow outs he has as he skitters around on the floor. He also growls and bites at Gypsy's ass whenever we let them in, and again when we let them out. It's like a compulsion. The waterdragon, on the other hand, leaps directly at the walls of his plexiglass enclosure with startling force. We can hear him hit from our bedroom - the kids can hear him hit from their bedrooms, upstairs. He'll climb up to a perch, leap soaringly into the air, THUNK! against the glass and plummet to Earth, sit on the bottom of the enclosure for a moment contemplating his aching nose, then climb back up and do it again. Over. And over. And over. I think the winner of the Stupid Pet Award goes to both of them. There can be a tie, right?

Many other journalers are doing this, so I am getting freaky with the bandwagoning. If there are any topics anyone would like me to post about, please e-mail me and I will endeavor to be entertaining, yet poignant. And also fabulous.

Labels: journal, misc

Posted by Laura at 3:21 PM | Permalink | Comments

I was browsing through my archives the other day, reading back through my history as a stepmother. It's been a while since I updated in any step-parenty sort of way. That would be because my feelings toward them alternate between tearing frustration and amused tolerance, and I usually experience several swipes of the pendulum daily.

I know it's a huge failing of parenthood to assume that "doing it MY way" is the only way "it" is done. With that said, I do believe that Calvin and I are pretty good parents, and pretty good human beings in general. We have our heads mostly screwed on straight, and in the areas where they are not screwed on straight, we can be termed "eccentric" or "progressive". "Fabulous", even.

So. When we explain, and re-explain, and re-RE-explain, how to do things thus and how to address things such and how to prioritize things so, it is because we have indeed been there, and have actually done that, and presently enjoy the sort of mostly-successful and responsible lifestyle that comes with not making too many fucked up decisions. And so we try to impart this hard-won wisdom onto our innocent, fragile, dumbass somewhat naive children.

Who think they know everything already, and the speed at which the words, "I knooo-oowww" depart in their singsongy way from the fucking sarcastic lilting throats of our beloved children, well, it is something to behold. One is truly left thinking that they do indeed know, and how very presumptuous of us to even try to instruct such genius when, clearly, they have it all figured out.

Really, we should be learning from them.

Many of my current complaints have occupied a comfortable spot in my determination for many years now. For example, any occasion that the kitchen gets cleaned at all by either child constitutes a minor miracle, much punctuated by martyr-ish sighs and slamming cupboard doors. The next child that puts a dirty dish into the cupboard will be WEARING that dirty dish. This is not a difficult lesson to learn. One would think that a single gentle reminder of, "Darling child, please do not put a dish away in the cupboard that is still encrusted with the remnants of a meal," would suffice. Common sense, at the very least, would dictate that the putting away of a dirty dish is probably not the most intelligent thing to do. And yet, Calvin and I persevere, selecting one dish after another from out of the cupboard, and having to discard it in the sink in our search for a dish that is actually clean. We even understand that the dishwasher is on its last legs, but that does not entitle the Cleaner of the Kitchen to pretend that they "didn't notice" that the dish was dirty when they put it away.

(Even now, Marie is reading this and yelling, "I don't do that, Michael does!!!")

The speed at which both children will throw the other under the bus during an argument or discussion is astonishing. If we start to get on Marie about needing to follow through with some plans for her life, she immediately throws Michael's current circumstances into the conversation. If we remind Michael for the millionth time to take care of his chores, he immediately brings up Marie's lack of discipline in that area. If either one senses that they are about to be brought under a negative spotlight, they bring up the other's flaws immediately in an attempt to deflect the negativity onto their beloved sibling.

(Even now, Michael is reading this and yelling, "I don't do that, Marie does!")

Some somewhat newer complaints:

One of the conditions set upon both children of continuing to live in our household "rent free" after high school/military, was the requirement that said child be enrolled in college. Not even full time - part time will suffice. Marie started, and then dropped out because physically going to class on-campus was too much of a pain in the ass. So we told her as of the first semester of '07 she was to be signed up in on-line classes at the very least. Today's date is February 20th. She is not enrolled. Michael, too, expressed the desire to go to school after the military. He went through some machinations in order to claim the GI bill to pay for college. He's been out of the military since last July. No progress there.

If I hear either one of the kids ever mention again EVER that they work harder than either Calvin or myself, they may not live to see the day when they do, indeed, work harder than either Calvin or myself.

If Michael smokes inside the house one more time, and pretends not to understand how we could possibly accuse him of such a sin when obviously he is SUCH a model child, he will discover what it feels like to smoke out of his ass.

If both kids don't figure out how to start supporting themselves, hold down decent-paying jobs, and pay their bills, it is clear that the only choice Calvin and I will have is to sell the house out from under them, move to a different state, and not leave a forwarding address. I mean, as things stand today there will be no way possible for either kid to be on their own in the near future. They seem to think that holding status quo (living at home, minimum wage job) is fine and dandy, and what the hell are we complaining about? Plans? They don't need no stinking plans.

Except that it's high time that Michael be on his own, and Marie isn't far behind him. One doesn't just fall out of the front door of their parents' house and fall right into success. Neither of them are poised to hit the ground running.

Of course, it's not like we want to get rid of them or anything. Everyone who knows me and who reads this website is clear about the fact that Calvin and I adore the kids. They'd have to annoy us a whole hell of a lot more to make us love them any less, if that's even possible. But, damn, people. I'm no saint, and I've gotta blow off some steam, here. If we could just see a little progress made, by either kid, there'd be a whole lot less frustration.

To throw some leaven in this lump (because I can't dish out a whole lot of bad without throwing in at least a little good), I will say this:

Marie has been very responsible about her employment, and as far as I know is never late to work and never blows off her shift. She mentioned this morning that she might be laid off, and if that is the case I'm sure it's not because of anything she did.

Michael has been steady in his job lately as well (after a rough start and several mornings of being late). If he's overwhelmed by bill collectors and impending divorce, he is at least trying to keep a good attitude about things.

Both kids come and go as they please, all hours of the day and night. But they try to be quiet if they're up when we're in bed, the house isn't destroyed in the morning when we get up, and they keep the traffic of friends coming and going to a minimum.

Finally, neither of them is an addict or has been arrested. And really, at the end of the day, what more can you ask for?

Labels: journal, kids

Posted by Laura at 1:44 PM | Permalink | Comments

Best things for February 19th '07 (see previous installment).

1. Sugar Free Rock Star Energy Drink. This stuff has so many B vitamins you won't pee right for a week. Plus other things like L-Carnitine, Taurine, Gingko Biloba, and some other fun stuff. No calories, no carbs, no sugar, and it doesn't taste half bad. And it has caffeine. Lots and lots of caffeine. So don't drink it late in the day. And never drink it warm. Never EVER. Cuz it's just nasty when it's warm.



2. Crank - the movie, not the drug. Drugs = bad. The movie, though? Is TOTALLY fucked up. It doesn't stop for a second, not from the opening scene onward. And you have to watch close, because there's all this weird shit going on in the backgrounds of the scenes (like the turtles? Doing it? On the ceiling in one scene, and on the wall in another? What the hell?). We were yelling, "Holy shit!" through the entire thing. We got to see Jason Statham's bare ass, which was fun (and Amy Smart's boobies, for those (Calvin) who were interested in that sort of thing). (Just THINK of all the hits I'm going to get because of this paragraph alone.) Oh, and it's got an AWESOME ending. I was ready to go to bed after watching this movie, let me tell you what. I was plum wore out.



3. Robyn of "Bitchypoo" and "OneFatBitchypoo" fame. People, follow that link and check out her progress pics. Her transformation has been amazing. I've been a reader of her journal for years (she's a fellow Mainer), and I'm just so proud of how far she's come since starting her weight loss journey. She's really a super role model with a great success story. Plus, she's got a great website.

Labels: best things

Posted by Laura at 2:31 PM | Permalink | Comments

I must once again rhapsodize in the wonder that is Crystal. If there were ever any being on this Earth that would make me turn lesbian (or, as it is said in this household, Lebesian (leh-bee-shen)), it would be Crystal. If Crystal sold swag on her website - bitty St. Francis statues that look a little like her, or sweatshirts that have "What Would Crystal Do?" on the back - I would totally buy that stuff. If Crystal were going to visit my house I would fret for days and clean a million times and worry that the fondue wasn't fonduey enough. And then when she got here I would just drool and blurt, "Shiny!" at random intervals.

If I wrote a book, I would dedicate it to Crystal. If I had a girl child (or a puppy) I would name it Crystal. Do you begin to feel my Crystal love, friends? Like Gatorade, is it in you?

Labels: blogs, misc

Posted by Laura at 7:02 PM | Permalink | Comments

Friday, 3:00, before a long weekend. If anyone ever wanted to discover a way to slow down, stop, or reverse time, I think I have it. I'm not wishing my life away, or wishing that time would pass more quickly. No, I am wishing I was elsewhere experiencing this particular drag in the linear movement of time.

I looked up every possible spoiler that the Internet had to offer about the next episode of Grey's Anatomy. I read my regular journals, and I tried to find old journalers who seem to have dropped off the face of the earth (Footnotes, Shelleyness, Journalalia). I drank four (count 'em!) 20-oz bottles of water. I went to the bathroom six (count 'em!) times.

Oh, and I did some work, too. Typical of the past few weeks, the frenzy I have experienced all day every day Monday through Thursday settled down to a trickle by 10:00 this morning.

When I get home I'm going to soak for about three hours in the tub. Calvin and I have no specific plans for this weekend. We should probably do something productive, but will probably end up doing nothing whatsoever productive. We want to see "Wild Hogs". There's some DVDs from Netflix that need watching, too. And DVR'ed stuff that needs to be consumed.

I am very, VERY rarely bored. But at this second in time, I really, really am.

I'm going to buy some wine on my way home, for the aforementioned tubby goodness.

Gack. MOVE IT, clock.

Labels: boredom, journal

Posted by Laura at 3:11 PM | Permalink | Comments

Okay, how I'm supposed to make it until the next Grey's Anatomy episode is beyond me.

I'm only a little, teeny, tiny bit obsessed.

Labels: misc

Posted by Laura at 2:06 PM | Permalink | Comments

Calvin just went for a ride. Marie called me from Pets Inc. asking if we needed crickets. Michael is at work.

Do you even KNOW how long it's been since I had the house to myself, even for a minute? Forever. Seriously.

I have nothing else to say, really. Just wanted to share the boggle.

Labels: journal

Posted by Laura at 5:18 PM | Permalink | Comments

Best things for February 12th '07 (see previous installment).

1. Body Worlds 3. Wow. What a truly fascinating exhibit this was. Calvin and I went to see it last week (taking the trip downtown on one of the bikes and stopping for a GREAT burger, which, given the subject matter we were about to experience, was brave of us). The bodies themselves were less gruesome than I imagined they would be... much more scientific, and even artistic in some circumstances. The technology they use - plastination - coupled with whole organs (many healthy specimens in side-by-side comparison with diseased specimens - healthy lung vs. smoker's lung vs. lung with cancer, etc... and I thought I didn't want to smoke before), millimeters-thick and transparent cutthroughs and dissections used for many of the encased displays, really gives a phenomenal view of the internal workings of the body. Many of the full body pieces were not encased at all, allowing people to get right up to the work itself, within a breath of touching it. All of the pieces were displayed in such a manner that people could walk completely around them - some had strategically placed mirrors from which the full details of the piece could be viewed from below, above, and behind. All in all, the exhibit was very informative and eye-opening. The only part that disturbed me were the fetuses, 3 weeks all the way to 36 weeks, that were subjected to plastination and displayed. These were displayed intact, with skin and limbs unaltered, unlike the rest of the subjects displayed. That was probably part of the reason that I was unnerved. The other reason... well, they were babies. I defy anyone to be untroubled by that. This particular display was completely enclosed in an entirely separate room, so it can be identified and avoided if desired. I just didn't know what to expect, so... However, for the majority of the exhibit I give an enthusiastic thumbs-up and highly recommend that anyone with an opportunity should go and see it.



2. Ginger ale, and toasted Jewish rye bread. An odd subject matter for "Best Things", but life saving when one has been unable to keep any other kind of food down. Calvin and I were looking forward to a nice, fun-filled weekend. But no. I had to come down with these flu-like symptoms (see how I spare your delicate sensibilities with what I don't share with you, my loyal readers?) late Friday evening that kept me in bed all day Saturday and all day Sunday, and I'm still not right today. I look forward with anticipation to tonight's meal - the first solid food since Friday's lunchtime salad - in which I will partake of meatloaf and roasted fingerling potatoes. And it had better damn well stay down, because I don't think my diaphragm can tolerate any more hurling.



3. Snakebite - made traditionally with Guinness, or the lighter "Harp Snakebite". This is one part (1/2 pint) Guinness, and one part (1/2 pint) dry hard cider (I like Strongbow). When correctly served, the cider is light and clear at the bottom of the glass, and the Guinness floats darkly on top with the requisite head and shamrock bedded on top of the foam. Rula Bula's is excellent.

Labels: best things

Posted by Laura at 4:20 PM | Permalink | Comments

There's this guy that I work with at AcronymCo - I have worked with him in various roles (once he was my boss, even) for many of the eleven-and-a-half years that I've been employed here. And I know him. I know how he rolls. Which is why when he asked me last week to set up a meeting for this week to discuss a certain topic, I did so with alacrity. Knowing that I would need to contact him on the morning of the meeting to ask, "Is it still on?" Because he will have forgotten that he wanted us to meet, will have instead figured out another way to solve the problem or have had forty-seven other discussions with fifteen different people between the time that he asked me to schedule the meeting and the time that the meeting was to have occurred, during which discussions the problem would have a) been resolved; b) disappeared; c) evolved into something entirely different.

Lo, I e-mailed him this morning, "Are we still on?" To which he responded, "Huh?" It amused me, purely in the way that something I knew I could count on happening did, indeed, happen. That I know this particular gentlemen well enough to see into his future like a nickel fortune teller at a carnival. I like this guy, he's one of the good ones.

--------------------------------------------------------

Speaking of one of the good ones, I have been indulging in an e-mail conversation with Archibael this morning. I sent him the link I posted yesterday, to which he responded:

From: Archibael
Sent: Tuesday, February 06, 2007 9:13 AM
To: Laura
Subject: RE: speaking of Grease...

I don't know whether I'm impressed or disturbed. I'll go with the former... tentatively.

In other news... since the new Harry Potter is on the way July 21... any predictions?

Who will finally defeat Voldemort, and how?

What is Harry's destiny? Hermione's? Ron's?

Who will smack down Malfoy?

Is Dumbledore really dead?

Other predictions?

From: Laura
Sent: Tuesday, February 06, 2007 9:24 AM
To: Archibael
Subject: RE: speaking of Grease...

Harry will defeat Voldemort, though he may or may not die in the process. There was something in the prophesy that said that they could not suffer one another to live. Really, I think that Voldemort will just be diminished to the point where he really isn’t “alive”, but not able to come back again like he did in Goblet of Fire.

Harry’s not going to have a storybook ending. He may go in the way of Dumbledore, where he’s gone for all intents and purposes, but not “really” gone. Hermione and Ron will play a major role in the final battle – I see one of them seriously and permanently injured, probably saved by Harry who sacrifices himself for them. I just don’t see Harry going on to be an Aurora or a teacher or anything.

Malfoy will be smacked down by Snape, who will reveal himself as a “good guy”, though not in the traditional sense (hinted at by his own actions and Dumbledore’s continued belief in him in the Half Blood Prince). Malfoy will not die, but will live to be dismayed by his evil-doing.

Dumbledore is dead in the traditional sense, but there is something to that curtained portal that was present in Order of the Phoenix through which Sirius Black fell. Plus, of course, Dumbledore will show up in a portrait in the headmaster’s rooms, just like all of the rest of the headmasters before him. Fawkes is in there somewhere, too. The mystical relationship between Fawkes and Dumbledore will become apparent.

I have pre-ordered the book and I predict that I will have it read completely before 24 hours have passed with it in my possession.

From: Archibael
Sent: Tuesday, February 06, 2007 9:31 AM
To: Laura
Subject: RE: speaking of Grease...

Nah, Neville will defeat Dumbledore, using herbology.

Harry will become the new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher, Hermione eventually headmaster (she is, after all, the greatest witch of her age, as was Dumbledore the greatest Wizard). Ron will either become a professional Quidditch player or the Minister of Magic-- or maybe the latter will be his dad.

Malfoy will get smacked down by Dudley Dursley.

Dumbledore is dead, but he's on so many Chocolate Frog cards he'll be the ultimate spy since his portrait's essentially everywhere.

But where is the final piece of Voldy's soul? He had seven: one went away when he got "killed" the first time, another when Harry stabbed the book, and a third when Dumbledore destroyed the ring. That leaves three more in the other artifacts of the Founders, and one more unaccounted for. I think it's in Nagini.

From: Laura
Sent: Tuesday, February 06, 2007 9:42 AM
To: Archibael
Subject: RE: speaking of Grease...

You mean Neville will defeat Voldemort?

The endings you have for Harry/Hermy/Ron are nice and certainly I’d like to see that happen, but it’s too storybook ending and would not jive with the increasing darkness of the books.

Dudders! I’ll root for Dudders! Hm. That is a good thought, though… Harry’s not supposed to go back “home” after Half Blood Prince (or maybe the book said he would only briefly). I wonder what role the “family” is going to play?

Now, that Chocolate Frog card theory is an excellent one. I wonder, though, if any of the Deatheaters indulge in chocolate frogs?

They found one of the artifacts at the end of HBP, and I think that one is contained within Harry himself, which is why he prolly won’t live. (I forget, who’s Nagini?)

From: Archibael
Sent: Tuesday, February 06, 2007 9:49 AM
To: Laura
Subject: RE: speaking of Grease...

Yep. They've broadcast that one since book three, and underlined it in book 5 ("the one born in April" could have been either Harry or Neville). It's possible it's a red herring, but I don't believe so. Voldemort's torture of Neville's parents "marked" him as sure as Harry wears the lightning scar.

Well, Harry will be the Defense Against the Dark Arts instructor, at least. They've set him up for it by slowly eroding away all the careers which would make sense for him. The only thing left is Quidditch, but I think he'll be injured in the final conflict and won't be able to play. Ron and Hermione may be otherwise, but my vote on Harry's future I'm sticking with!

No, they didn't find anything at the end of HBP: Dumbledore died in vain, which was what made it so sad. They found a fake with a note from some guy who was playing a prank on Voldy. So there's still four out there, three of which they at least know about. Nagini is Voldy's pet snake. The other possibility is Harry, that's not bad... but I don't think, when it comes to it, Rowling will kill the boy off. Everyone else is headed for corpsedom, especially Percy (and good riddance!).

From: Laura
Sent: Tuesday, February 06, 2007 9:57 AM
To: Archibael
Subject: RE: speaking of Grease...

You have got a PSYCHO memory for details, man.

Oh, I agree that Neville will have a role to play in the final showdown, I just don’t think it’ll be him that brings about Voldemort’s demise.

You are permitted your own theories wrt Harry and his future. I will choose to stick with the thought that he will go the way of myths and heroes and legends. Ron and Hermione’s future fame will be based on the fact that they “knew” Harry Potter. But you’re probably right, Hermy will be Headmistress someday.

I think I’ll have to go back and re-read Half Blood Prince before the next book arrives. The details are fuzzy. Did you just read it or something? Or, no, the aforementioned crazy memory…

OH, I HOPE PERCY BITES IT!!!!!!! But when you say “everyone else is headed for corpsedom”, who do you mean? The rest of Ron’s brothers and Ginny? And Fleur, and Mr. and Mrs. Weasley? Cuz that would be poopy.

From: Archibael
Sent: Tuesday, February 06, 2007 10:01 AM
To: Laura
Subject: RE: speaking of Grease...

I dunno about Ginny. Mean authordom would dictate she must die, but Harry deserves some happiness.

No, I just have a good memory for details.

I think some of the Weasleys will live, but I bet Fred or George die. Possibly both. Fleur... is questionable. I would not be sad. Mrs. Weasley might die, since her greatest fear is that her kids and husband will die, and authors are irons.

I'm just rereading books 5 and 6 now in anticipation. And to stay ahead of Talia, who burned through book 3 in three days. I swear, when book 7 comes out it's going to be a fight between me, (wife), and (oldest daughter) who gets to read it first.

From: Laura
Sent: Tuesday, February 06, 2007 10:06 AM
To: Archibael
Subject: RE: speaking of Grease...

If it comes down to fisticuffs, you can have my copy after I read it. Like I said, I’ll be done with it quick. What is the 21st, anyway (besides the day after my birthday)? A Saturday? Oh heck yeah, I’ll have it read by Sunday. You can call me if fighting breaks out.

I’m putting this whole conversation on my website, just so’s ya know.

Labels: work

Posted by Laura at 9:06 AM | Permalink | Comments

Best things for February 5th '07 (see previous installment).

1. NPR - the radio program and the website. I listen to NPR on my way to and from work most mornings - so, like, 10 minutes per day. But in that 10 minutes I hear interesting things, funny things, thought-provoking things. I often hear a news article on NPR long before I see it on the news or read it in the newspaper. And I've picked up a couple of books after they've been reviewed on one of the various programs. Love All Things Considered and Fresh Air. The Arizona broadcast (KJZZ) is seamless with local news and traffic intermingled with national broadcasting. Morning Edition is hosted by Steve Inskeep and Renée Montagne, and they've got such comforting voices. The NPR websites are terrific - webcasts of all the programs and articles, listings of the music played and the people interviewed, human interest stories and transcripts galore. Five minute news summary webcasts every hour on the hour, 24-hour streaming programming... just about everything to keep this NPR geek occupied for a long, LONG time. Plus there's tie-ins to BBC and other international news agencies that enable listeners to hear non-American spins on the same news topics. Good stuff.
   



2. Superbowl Ads. For a lot of viewers, they're the only reason they tune in to the game ever year. Not me - well, not anymore. I used to be like that, but now I'm calling the flag before the ref has a chance to broadcast it - "offsides!" "facemask!" "delay of game!" I'll leap up and holler at a stupid play just as quick as Calvin, and I'm right there with the hootin' and hollerin' when there's a fumble or an interception or a reversal. (I am pleased, by the way, with the outcome of Superbowl 41. Lots of action, and rainy weather that WOULD have been snow if they hadn't been in Miami, darnit. The best games are played in the snow, I think.) ANYWAY. My favorite ads this year were the Coke ads. Very imaginative, the type that you'd have to watch a few times to see everything that's going on. OH. And DID YOU SEE THE HALFTIME SHOW?!? Prince singing Purple Rain in the rain. My heart, it beateth.



3. Chili's Babyback Ribs (sing it!) - specifically Kentucky Bourbon and Memphis Dry Rub. Laws, them's good eatin'. We bought two full racks of each (and fries) for our own little Superbowl Party (plus, like, seven kinds of chips, two kinds of beer, tequila, whiskey, vodka, mixed nuts, bean dip, crackers-n-cheese-n-summer sausage... urp). Leftovers for dinner tonight!

Labels: best things

Posted by Laura at 5:55 PM | Permalink | Comments

I seem to be getting all of my fun links from Dooce lately.

Check this out. Who's the good puppy! Such a good puppy! Snoofie snoofie snoof!

Labels: blogthings

Posted by Laura at 3:55 PM | Permalink | Comments

Today is Grammy's birthday.

It occurred to me that I achieved the pinnacle of redneckedness (rednekkidness?) at one point in my teenage years, and I could have died then a fulfilled woman, had I realized it. This pinnacle? That I have actually ridden in a car whose bucket seats were actual buckets. Beat that, Foxworthy.

To the anonymous commenter who said that Calvin and I would not be able to "handle" the sobriety mandatory for the running of a Bed and Breakfast: who says sobriety is necessary? We're very functional drunks, thankyouverymuch. Now, if we could just kick the heroin...

We dropped our taxes off today. I'm bracing myself for a spanking from the IRS. We file at the earliest possible moment each year just to get the pain over with. The anticipation is usually worse than the reality. Yet, not this year, I fear.

I have read twenty books in the one month that is 2007. And yet, I have managed to keep the house (somewhat) clean (hush, Calvin), stay on top of all of my work at AcronymCo, gather all of our tax crap together, watch copious amounts of television, participate in the lecturing of the children, spend quality time with Calvin, go out to eat a bunch of times, manage our finances, go for a bunch of motor rides, download many songs for my iPod, keep up on my regular journal reads, post in this journal quite a bit, and take naps. I think that while reading I have an unconscious ability to stop time, so that entire books can be consumed while no actual time is expended. Hey! I'm like Hiro Nakamura! Yatta!

Labels: journal, misc

Posted by Laura at 11:35 AM | Permalink | Comments

I mentioned briefly in the content of an earlier post that Calvin and I are going to Maine in May. To say that I'm "looking forward to it" would be a gross understatement, for several important reasons.

First, it will be the first trip that Calvin and I have been able to take ALONE in years. Since he and I have been together, there have been three (count 'em) occasions that he and I have traveled alone. One week in '98 when we went to Maine when we first got together so he could meet my family and decide if he wanted to run away screaming, one weekend in '99 to San Diego to celebrate his birthday, and one weekend in '04 (or was it '03?) up north in AZ to go skiing. Marie was supposed to go with us but she opted to stay with friends instead. Every other trip or vacation has included either one or both of the kids - which has been on purpose, since we wanted to build memories and experiences together while the kids were young. They're 18 and 23 now. So, we are DUE.

Second, it's Maine. Home. Italian sandwiches and real seafood and the ocean and the Old Port and all my familiar favorite places. Any occasion to get back home is cause for celebration. Plus, for the second half of the week we get to stay in the house I grew up in, the one I refer to as "home" in a way I don't speak of the house I currently live in. My sister and her family are going to have a bonfire at their place - the last one back in that trip in '98 was the size of a barn. A LARGE barn. Actually, I think it had part of a barn in it. And a boat. And a car.

Third, the first half of the week will be spent staying at a bed and breakfast in Kennebunkport, attending an "Aspiring Innkeepers Seminar". We're taking the first step in investigating if B&B ownership is something we want to pursue. This three-day seminar is structured to answer a lot of questions and help us figure out if this sort of lifestyle is really for us. To be sure, it would be a drastic (and needed) change from the life we're currently living. We're tired, and we want to occupy ourselves in a fashion that is 180 degrees from what our lives consist of right now.

Other people make a leap and completely change their lives around with success, there is no reason why we can't be an example of that as well. We think the B&B industry would be a good match for us since we like meeting new people, we like being hospitable and entertaining, we want a career in which we can work together, and Calvin makes a WICKED breakfast.

I think we could make a go of it. We're thinking Oregon would be a good place to have a B&B (darn Discovery channel and Travel channel with their "No Reservations" and "Beer Nuts" and other shows that just happen to feature Oregon lately), though the east coast is certainly an option. It was just a (happy) coincidence that the seminar is being held in Maine - there are others, of course, but I used the excuse of this particular schedule to indulge my homesickness. Sue me.

Anyway, this life altering decision will be made carefully and with all of the information we can possibly gather. You all know how I research things to DEATH, and Calvin is a Must Have Plan kind of guy. We've started on the path, though. I, for one, am really excited.

Labels: journal

Posted by Laura at 2:59 PM | Permalink | Comments

Randomly with all the randomness:

A surefire way to improve one's mood at work is to listen to the Grease! Soundtrack.

Sometimes I put my iPod on at work out of sheer self-defense. Kitty-corner in one direction is a cube neighbor who has the MOST ANNOYING AND LOUDEST VOICE EVER. Kitty-corner in the other direction is a cube neighbor whose cell phone is CONSTANTLY ringing, and she's never there to answer it. And it's got a very annoying ring tone.

Song change! "Oh let the sun beat down upon my face..."

I have a lighthouse-themed calendar on my cubicle wall. It makes me happy. All lighthouses are automated now, but I really wish they were still manned. Calvin and I would make excellent lighthouse keepers.

If I say that I don't like how a movie ended, it's because the wrong person died, or the guy didn't get the girl, or the horse/dog/cat/monkey bit it. Case in point: City of Angels = WORST MOVIE EVER, GODDAMMIT. Flyboys = the ending wasn't completely awful, but didn't make me particularly happy either. 8 Below = I won't even watch it.

Song change! "I need direction to perfection, no no no no help me out..."

My idea of a day perfectly spent is to wake up in the morning with Calvin, get ourselves together and go get some breakfast (iHop crepes!). Then come back home, lock ourselves in the bedroom, indulge in some playtime, and take a nap. Then wake up, run to BevMo to stock up the fridge in the bedroom, lock ourselves in again for some more playtime, then lay around nekkid talking and swigging. Raid the kitchen (well, put some robes on first) for some munchies, pile back into the bedroom, snuggle and watch bad TV, playtime, nap. Alone. Uninterrupted.

The bad thing about noise-cancelling headphones is that one's boss can enter one's cubicle unheard while one is indulging in a sanity-keeping blogger post.

Our children are very bad at keeping up on their chores. Well, chore, singular. They're supposed to switch off on the upkeep of the kitchen (dishes, trash, etc.). Sometimes it'll get done five days in a row, other times it'll sit for three days, get done, sit for two more days... grr. It's the ONLY thing we ask them to do around the house. Grr again. I kvetch because I had to wash out my travel mug for the third morning in a row, this morning.

Song change! "...you're so exotic show me where you're comin' from..."

Song change! "Sheep go to heaven, goats go to hell."

Labels: journal, misc, work

Posted by Laura at 9:04 AM | Permalink | Comments