Monday, April 30, 2007
Neck meat with the cartoid and the holy fuck.
Heh. I just asked Calvin, "Is it okay if I write about what's been going on with you? With your neck meat and stuff?" He said, "Yeah," and I said, "That's going to be the title. 'Neck Meat.'"
I haven't been writing about this since it all started because a) we didn't know what we were dealing with; b) Calvin didn't want to freak out our family and friends; and c) we didn't know how freaked out we should be.
About six weeks ago Calvin was bothered by a lump along the right side of his neck (which he refers to as his "neck meat", hence the title). He figured it was a swollen gland, went to our General Practitioner, and was handed a prescription for antibiotics. Two weeks later, the lump was still there, had grown bigger, and was beginning to hurt. The GP referred Calvin to a specialist, who stuck a scope up Calvin's nose and down into his throat (yarg), didn't really see anything, and ordered a CT scan of the area. The specialist thought there was something going on with Calvin's carotid artery (which Calvin calls his "cartoid", also hence the title) but couldn't determine what without more tests.
Of course, we exercised our Google MD's, and started researching what could possibly be wrong. We found information on carotidynia, and of course cancer and other scary things. I don't know how doctors do it - the same symptoms can be caused by so many different things.
So. Calvin went and got a CT scan. On Thursday of last week he got a call back from the doctor who said that there is "definitely something there" and that they wanted to get some labs done and do a neck biopsy "right away". The doctor was rather urgent about it all and said it couldn't wait until we got back from vacation (then a little more than a week away). Calvin called me at work from his truck, on his way home. He was upset and worried and was going home a bit early. So of course I was upset and worried (and after I hung up with him I went and freaked out a little bit in the bathroom), so I went home early too.
Commence with the freaking out.
To have the medical unknown happen to you is a fucked experience. Calvin and I were both approaching panic, and we started having those conversations. The heavy ones with the life insurance and the will and the "what if" and the "holy fuck". Conversations that make you assess how you've been living your life and the stuff that you've taken for granted, and the changes you're going to make and the light that has been shed upon your blessings.
Any unknown mass automatically makes you think "cancer". Plus it is in Calvin's neck and they wanted to do a "fine needle biopsy". In his neck. With a needle. GACK, much?
We took Friday off for labs, and the biopsy was scheduled for today. We prepared ourselves for a stressful weekend. Waiting is hell, the unknown is worse, plus NECK. And NEEDLE.
Friday morning we went and got his labs done. Then in the late afternoon we got a call from the review radiologist nurse, representing the radiologist who had examined Calvin's CT scan. She said that the radiologist said a biopsy couldn't be performed on the area, and that the procedure for Monday was cancelled. She said we'd have to take "a different approach".
Since she was just the messenger, Calvin didn't freak out at her. But he very pointedly said that he wanted to talk to the actual radiologist. What does "different approach" mean? Could we stop worrying, or did we need to worry more? What the hell, really, was going on?
More phone calls back and forth. The radiologist tried to get ahold of the specialist working with Calvin, but couldn't. They discovered what we had been dealing with for the past month - the specialist's office turns on their phones late in the morning (like, 8:30 instead of the 8:00 that their message claims) and turns off their phones early in the evening (as in, 4:30 instead of 5:00). This particular day (Friday), the specialist just decided to take a day off, and was "on call". So we, and the radiologist, tried to deal with the specialist's answering service. To no avail. No call back, no new information, and now we are in further limbo than we had been before.
You can be sure that we're telling the GP not to recommend this guy to anyone anymore.
We were assured that we would receive more information, and the results of the labs taken on Friday, today. The radiologist was to confer with the specialist, who was to call us and arrange that "different approach" so that we could finalize any procedures that need to happen this week before we leave for Maine on Saturday.
We haven't heard back from anyone. Calvin has called and left messages. We are owed calls back and assurances and MORE GODDAMNED SOLID INFORMATION. It is complete bullshit that doctors can be this cavalier about communicating with their patients. Patients who are worried, with families who are worried, who just want to know what the fuck is going on. We want to know what we're dealing with. We want to know if this upcoming vacation should be used for celebration, or used to prepare ourselves.
I want to know what is wrong with my husband.
At this point, a lot of the panic has been replaced with exasperation. We're still very worried, but hopeful and optimistic and just damned irritated at most medical professionals in general. I will be sure to keep everyone appraised of what's going on. It's tough not to write about something that is so primarily on my mind.
I haven't been writing about this since it all started because a) we didn't know what we were dealing with; b) Calvin didn't want to freak out our family and friends; and c) we didn't know how freaked out we should be.
About six weeks ago Calvin was bothered by a lump along the right side of his neck (which he refers to as his "neck meat", hence the title). He figured it was a swollen gland, went to our General Practitioner, and was handed a prescription for antibiotics. Two weeks later, the lump was still there, had grown bigger, and was beginning to hurt. The GP referred Calvin to a specialist, who stuck a scope up Calvin's nose and down into his throat (yarg), didn't really see anything, and ordered a CT scan of the area. The specialist thought there was something going on with Calvin's carotid artery (which Calvin calls his "cartoid", also hence the title) but couldn't determine what without more tests.
Of course, we exercised our Google MD's, and started researching what could possibly be wrong. We found information on carotidynia, and of course cancer and other scary things. I don't know how doctors do it - the same symptoms can be caused by so many different things.
So. Calvin went and got a CT scan. On Thursday of last week he got a call back from the doctor who said that there is "definitely something there" and that they wanted to get some labs done and do a neck biopsy "right away". The doctor was rather urgent about it all and said it couldn't wait until we got back from vacation (then a little more than a week away). Calvin called me at work from his truck, on his way home. He was upset and worried and was going home a bit early. So of course I was upset and worried (and after I hung up with him I went and freaked out a little bit in the bathroom), so I went home early too.
Commence with the freaking out.
To have the medical unknown happen to you is a fucked experience. Calvin and I were both approaching panic, and we started having those conversations. The heavy ones with the life insurance and the will and the "what if" and the "holy fuck". Conversations that make you assess how you've been living your life and the stuff that you've taken for granted, and the changes you're going to make and the light that has been shed upon your blessings.
Any unknown mass automatically makes you think "cancer". Plus it is in Calvin's neck and they wanted to do a "fine needle biopsy". In his neck. With a needle. GACK, much?
We took Friday off for labs, and the biopsy was scheduled for today. We prepared ourselves for a stressful weekend. Waiting is hell, the unknown is worse, plus NECK. And NEEDLE.
Friday morning we went and got his labs done. Then in the late afternoon we got a call from the review radiologist nurse, representing the radiologist who had examined Calvin's CT scan. She said that the radiologist said a biopsy couldn't be performed on the area, and that the procedure for Monday was cancelled. She said we'd have to take "a different approach".
Since she was just the messenger, Calvin didn't freak out at her. But he very pointedly said that he wanted to talk to the actual radiologist. What does "different approach" mean? Could we stop worrying, or did we need to worry more? What the hell, really, was going on?
More phone calls back and forth. The radiologist tried to get ahold of the specialist working with Calvin, but couldn't. They discovered what we had been dealing with for the past month - the specialist's office turns on their phones late in the morning (like, 8:30 instead of the 8:00 that their message claims) and turns off their phones early in the evening (as in, 4:30 instead of 5:00). This particular day (Friday), the specialist just decided to take a day off, and was "on call". So we, and the radiologist, tried to deal with the specialist's answering service. To no avail. No call back, no new information, and now we are in further limbo than we had been before.
You can be sure that we're telling the GP not to recommend this guy to anyone anymore.
We were assured that we would receive more information, and the results of the labs taken on Friday, today. The radiologist was to confer with the specialist, who was to call us and arrange that "different approach" so that we could finalize any procedures that need to happen this week before we leave for Maine on Saturday.
We haven't heard back from anyone. Calvin has called and left messages. We are owed calls back and assurances and MORE GODDAMNED SOLID INFORMATION. It is complete bullshit that doctors can be this cavalier about communicating with their patients. Patients who are worried, with families who are worried, who just want to know what the fuck is going on. We want to know what we're dealing with. We want to know if this upcoming vacation should be used for celebration, or used to prepare ourselves.
I want to know what is wrong with my husband.
At this point, a lot of the panic has been replaced with exasperation. We're still very worried, but hopeful and optimistic and just damned irritated at most medical professionals in general. I will be sure to keep everyone appraised of what's going on. It's tough not to write about something that is so primarily on my mind.
Friday, April 27, 2007
You will be bored by cat pics and vacation pics and self portraits and...
In prep for our anticipated travels of this year, Calvin and I finally bought a digital SLR camera. This one, to be specific. Not one of the snazzy Nikon D-whatevers that I am jealous of Dooce over. We really only need a mid-price mid-capability camera, since we're not exactly pro's, nor are we photo-prolific.
Though this thing is so whizzy-bang, that might change.
Another reason we chose the Canon is because we have a couple of 35mm film Canons, with a couple of different lenses. Which are compatible with our new camera. Thus saving us hundreds (if not thousands) of dollars on new lenses. We don't have a macro lens, though, which will be the next indulgence.
There will be experimenting, and there will be successes and failures, and you will be the (un)willing recipients of it all! First is to teach myself how to do this.
I'm looking for good recommendations on digital photography books and websites, because y'all know how much momma lubs her research. So comment or drop me a line, thanks!
Though this thing is so whizzy-bang, that might change.
Another reason we chose the Canon is because we have a couple of 35mm film Canons, with a couple of different lenses. Which are compatible with our new camera. Thus saving us hundreds (if not thousands) of dollars on new lenses. We don't have a macro lens, though, which will be the next indulgence.
There will be experimenting, and there will be successes and failures, and you will be the (un)willing recipients of it all! First is to teach myself how to do this.
I'm looking for good recommendations on digital photography books and websites, because y'all know how much momma lubs her research. So comment or drop me a line, thanks!
Labels: best things, goals, photography
Thursday, April 26, 2007
Save "Drive"
Fox Broadcasting is canceling "Drive". If you love like we do, sign the petition to keep it on the air. Not that these petitions ever work, but it's worth a shot. I can think of so many other shows that are still on the air that should certainly be canned over this one!!! I mean hell, they moved Raines and Ghost Whisperer to Friday nights, and they're still on...
Thanks to Jen for the link and head's up.
Thanks to Jen for the link and head's up.
Labels: misc
Bringin' some lovin' here today.
A post about what's goin' on.
Calvin and I decided to make our Maine trip a total vacation trip, instead of spending half of it in a seminar. We've had some major stress over the past couple of weeks, with health concerns going on with both of us, plus work, plus the kids, plus plus plus...
The upshot is that we just really need a decompression break. A week during which there will be no thinking about serious shit - something that we have been doing waaaay too much of over the past couple of weeks. So there will be more time for walking on the beach, visiting the lighthouses, prowling around the Old Port, and hanging with the family. The seminar can wait when our mental well-being is much more important.
I talked to my girlfriend AB last Sunday night, and she (and her daughter) were so shocked that I called that I felt like a complete choad. If your friends are shocked when you call, that means that you don't call enough. I shall try to be a better friend from this point forward.
Speaking of which, I called my sister three different times and left messages, and she hasn't called me back. So now I think she kind of sucks and she's going to have to work to get back into my good graces. Buying me an italian sandwich and having a bonfire at her house comes to mind.
Whenever I "hear" Lucy's voice in my head, she "sounds" like Ivana Trump. Cheeto "sounds" like Bill Murray (ala Garfield). Gadget "sounds" like Hammy from Over the Hedge (Steve Carell). Gypsy "sounds" like Caroline Rhea. And Oz sounds like Stewie from Family Guy (Seth MacFarlane). My imagination is a very strange place.
Cheeto and Lucy have been thrashing around in their tank all morning long - chasing from perch to perch, Cheeto bobbing and Lucy waving, both of them traipsing through their veggies and creating general mayhem. Just a few moments ago Lucy crawled back under one of the logs where she's spent most of her time for the past few months. Bearded dragons brumate (a semi-hibernation) for part of the year - usually the winter months. Her clock must be off, though, because it's in the (fucking) 90's and sunny 90% of the time. I think maybe their tank is too small and she's sleeping a lot because she's depressed. That's what I do when I'm depressed, anyway - crawl under a log (or the covers) and sleep it off. I think we'll get them a rabbit cage to set out in the sun on the lawn for them to hang out in on nice afternoons.
Michael bought Calvin's sport bike off of him, and now he's (Michael) constantly pestering him (Calvin) to go for a ride. The boy is hyper. And today is his 24th birthday. Lilly called and put the boys on with their birthday wishes - Calvin got to talk to them, too. As it was, like, 6:30 in the morning, I was still unconscious. X(f) (Michael and Marie's mom, for those of you who haven't plowed through all of the journal archives) is taking Michael to a baseball game tonight. Marie was not invited. That kind of ticks me off. It has been several years, now, since Marie and X(f) have spoken. But X(f) speaks to Michael quite often. I don't get that woman.
I have been tanning, a couple of times a week, at this place that is exactly two minutes away from my house. At first I was totally claustrophobic in the TANNING COFFIN OF DOOM, but I got used to it after the first few visits. I started at six minutes, worked my way up to eight, and now I'm a total pro at ten minutes. I'm a hussy and I tan nekkid - I thought I'd give you that mental image as a bonus, just for being such good readers. I kind of like the process over laying out in the sun, since it's so much quicker and I don't have to expose anyone to seeing me in a bathing suit. The only problem is that you get weird negative areas in your tan, like under your arms and on your tailbone. I don't think I'll keep up with it for very much longer - my purchased month of "all you can tan!" is over on the first, and I doubt I'll go beyond that. It was just one of those whims I got one day when I looked at myself in the mirror and said, "Damn, girl, you are one pasty looking bee-otch!"
I got an MRI on Monday, looking for issues beyond the pancreatitis. THAT was an interesting experience. It was cold, noisy, sensory-depriving, and much less horrid than the CT-scan I got a couple of weeks ago (no IV! no needles! no problem!). I wore elastic waisted jogging pants and a t-shirt with no bra (woo-woo!), so I didn't have to further demean myself by wearing the svelte little gowns they give you. The scanner-man was very nice and encouraged me all along the way, asking frequently through the monitor if I was okay. I wore headphones that channelled 98.7 The Peak FM, which cut out every time he spoke to me. It seemed weird to call my "Yep, okay in here," into the air, but the MRI Tunnel O' Love had a microphone through which he could hear me. Then it was 35 minutes of "Deep breath in, blow your breath out, deep breath in, and hoooold your breath..." At least he told me how long I was going to have to hold it (16 seconds, 28 seconds, 22 seconds...), so I could do a mental countdown. During two scans - one eight minutes long and one five minutes long - I just had to lay still and breathe normally. All I had to do was listen to the "EEEEEHHHHHHHH... CLUNK CLUNK CLUNK CLUNK... EEEEEEHHHHHHHH", which pretty much drowned out the music. Despite the noise I almost fell asleep, then had to rouse myself for some more "... and hoooold your breath." After every breath holding session, the scanner-man would be all like, "That was very good!" Uh, thanks? I've been practicing.
I got a message yesterday afternoon from the doc's, and the scan came back normal. I still want to look at it, though, and check out what my innards look like. I bet there's kittens and posies and sparkly things all up in there.
Calvin and I decided to make our Maine trip a total vacation trip, instead of spending half of it in a seminar. We've had some major stress over the past couple of weeks, with health concerns going on with both of us, plus work, plus the kids, plus plus plus...
The upshot is that we just really need a decompression break. A week during which there will be no thinking about serious shit - something that we have been doing waaaay too much of over the past couple of weeks. So there will be more time for walking on the beach, visiting the lighthouses, prowling around the Old Port, and hanging with the family. The seminar can wait when our mental well-being is much more important.
I talked to my girlfriend AB last Sunday night, and she (and her daughter) were so shocked that I called that I felt like a complete choad. If your friends are shocked when you call, that means that you don't call enough. I shall try to be a better friend from this point forward.
Speaking of which, I called my sister three different times and left messages, and she hasn't called me back. So now I think she kind of sucks and she's going to have to work to get back into my good graces. Buying me an italian sandwich and having a bonfire at her house comes to mind.
Whenever I "hear" Lucy's voice in my head, she "sounds" like Ivana Trump. Cheeto "sounds" like Bill Murray (ala Garfield). Gadget "sounds" like Hammy from Over the Hedge (Steve Carell). Gypsy "sounds" like Caroline Rhea. And Oz sounds like Stewie from Family Guy (Seth MacFarlane). My imagination is a very strange place.
Cheeto and Lucy have been thrashing around in their tank all morning long - chasing from perch to perch, Cheeto bobbing and Lucy waving, both of them traipsing through their veggies and creating general mayhem. Just a few moments ago Lucy crawled back under one of the logs where she's spent most of her time for the past few months. Bearded dragons brumate (a semi-hibernation) for part of the year - usually the winter months. Her clock must be off, though, because it's in the (fucking) 90's and sunny 90% of the time. I think maybe their tank is too small and she's sleeping a lot because she's depressed. That's what I do when I'm depressed, anyway - crawl under a log (or the covers) and sleep it off. I think we'll get them a rabbit cage to set out in the sun on the lawn for them to hang out in on nice afternoons.
Michael bought Calvin's sport bike off of him, and now he's (Michael) constantly pestering him (Calvin) to go for a ride. The boy is hyper. And today is his 24th birthday. Lilly called and put the boys on with their birthday wishes - Calvin got to talk to them, too. As it was, like, 6:30 in the morning, I was still unconscious. X(f) (Michael and Marie's mom, for those of you who haven't plowed through all of the journal archives) is taking Michael to a baseball game tonight. Marie was not invited. That kind of ticks me off. It has been several years, now, since Marie and X(f) have spoken. But X(f) speaks to Michael quite often. I don't get that woman.
I have been tanning, a couple of times a week, at this place that is exactly two minutes away from my house. At first I was totally claustrophobic in the TANNING COFFIN OF DOOM, but I got used to it after the first few visits. I started at six minutes, worked my way up to eight, and now I'm a total pro at ten minutes. I'm a hussy and I tan nekkid - I thought I'd give you that mental image as a bonus, just for being such good readers. I kind of like the process over laying out in the sun, since it's so much quicker and I don't have to expose anyone to seeing me in a bathing suit. The only problem is that you get weird negative areas in your tan, like under your arms and on your tailbone. I don't think I'll keep up with it for very much longer - my purchased month of "all you can tan!" is over on the first, and I doubt I'll go beyond that. It was just one of those whims I got one day when I looked at myself in the mirror and said, "Damn, girl, you are one pasty looking bee-otch!"
I got an MRI on Monday, looking for issues beyond the pancreatitis. THAT was an interesting experience. It was cold, noisy, sensory-depriving, and much less horrid than the CT-scan I got a couple of weeks ago (no IV! no needles! no problem!). I wore elastic waisted jogging pants and a t-shirt with no bra (woo-woo!), so I didn't have to further demean myself by wearing the svelte little gowns they give you. The scanner-man was very nice and encouraged me all along the way, asking frequently through the monitor if I was okay. I wore headphones that channelled 98.7 The Peak FM, which cut out every time he spoke to me. It seemed weird to call my "Yep, okay in here," into the air, but the MRI Tunnel O' Love had a microphone through which he could hear me. Then it was 35 minutes of "Deep breath in, blow your breath out, deep breath in, and hoooold your breath..." At least he told me how long I was going to have to hold it (16 seconds, 28 seconds, 22 seconds...), so I could do a mental countdown. During two scans - one eight minutes long and one five minutes long - I just had to lay still and breathe normally. All I had to do was listen to the "EEEEEHHHHHHHH... CLUNK CLUNK CLUNK CLUNK... EEEEEEHHHHHHHH", which pretty much drowned out the music. Despite the noise I almost fell asleep, then had to rouse myself for some more "... and hoooold your breath." After every breath holding session, the scanner-man would be all like, "That was very good!" Uh, thanks? I've been practicing.
I got a message yesterday afternoon from the doc's, and the scan came back normal. I still want to look at it, though, and check out what my innards look like. I bet there's kittens and posies and sparkly things all up in there.
Wednesday, April 25, 2007
Pimp some more
So by now everybody knows that I frequent my innernet wife Crystal's website. Through her I found Avitable, and through him I found Miss Britt, and through her I found Amy.
And thus the blog obsession feeds itself, spins madly out of control, and instills a sense of hopelessness that one CANNOT keep up with EVERYONE WHO HAS A BLOG on the ENTIRE INTERNET.
Which, actually, I don't want to do. But I keep finding these really good blogs (as in, all of the ones listed in my BlogRolling), and for the new finds I want to read all of their archives, and for the ones I've been reading for a while I just want them to update more, and...
... I obviously can't stop any time I want to. Not on this. Ah, well, as tragedies go it doesn't even make the scale.
And thus the blog obsession feeds itself, spins madly out of control, and instills a sense of hopelessness that one CANNOT keep up with EVERYONE WHO HAS A BLOG on the ENTIRE INTERNET.
Which, actually, I don't want to do. But I keep finding these really good blogs (as in, all of the ones listed in my BlogRolling), and for the new finds I want to read all of their archives, and for the ones I've been reading for a while I just want them to update more, and...
... I obviously can't stop any time I want to. Not on this. Ah, well, as tragedies go it doesn't even make the scale.
Labels: blogs
Tuesday, April 24, 2007
New pics of the boys!
FINALLY! We have new pics of the boys, the first ones really since they left back in November. I feel like bawling. They've grown so much. We've missed SO. MUCH. Who knows when we'll see them next, and right now none of the boys will even remember us.
I'm glad to have the pictures, but they just aren't enough.
Posted on Flickr as well.
I'm glad to have the pictures, but they just aren't enough.
Posted on Flickr as well.
Labels: kids
Jen wouldn't leave me alone until I did this.
Monday, April 23, 2007
Reading the signs for a bad day.
My day is NOT starting off well. I slept like crap last night because my back is killing me, and when the alarm went off the first thought that entered my mind was, "Oh, this is bullshit." So I got up to get situated on the couch with my laptop, and when I went to look for the ice pack in the freezer to help alleviate my back pain, it was gone. Which doesn't surprise me, since lately it seems like every time I go to look for something to end some sort of misery I'm in, it's been taken. Last week it was my allergy medication, a couple of weeks ago it was cookies, this morning it's the ice pack.
I really, REALLY can't wait until the occupancy of this household is decreased. It is one child in particular that is ALWAYS taking things, and I'm really sick of it. That's all I'm saying.
Every morning my boss meets with the folks from manufacturing and then sends an e-mail to the folks in my group with all of the help needed for the day. Invariably my name is always all over the thing. Because I'm special that way. Well, he did say during my review that he wants me to become the "go-to" person. Guess he got his wish... not exactly mine, though. There's nothing like a half-dozen or more "gotta have it NOW" things shot at you first thing in the morning to get your day started off right!
Then Calvin just called me, and the guy that was responsible for hiring him into his company just resigned. It doesn't mean that much will change for Calvin's job, but this was one of the "good guys" and things will just be a little more of the suck now that he's leaving. Which got us talking along the lines of what we want to do and how we want to make our lives happier, which THEN got us down the conversational thread of how much we don't like what we're doing with our lives right now.
AND the cat is about to get murdered because he's just PISSING ME OFF. If I don't feed him as soon as my feet hit the floor when I get up in the morning, he starts looking for things to that will get him in trouble. His hope is that since I'm up to chase him away from whatever badness he's doing (because yelling at him SO doesn't work), I'll just go ahead and feed him since I'm up already. And the fucker is right. I've had to yell at him (again, ineffectually) for jumping up at the water dragon, trying to paw a soda can down off of the half-wall, messing with the wiring behind the TV, scuffling around under the couch, and jumping up on the kitchen counter. The little asshole.
I've got an MRI scheduled for 11:30, then a girly-doctor appointment for 3:30. Since going to the doctors has now become my least favorite thing to do, this double-appointment day is not helping things.
Feh. It's just going to be a bad day. At 9:30, I can just tell.
I really, REALLY can't wait until the occupancy of this household is decreased. It is one child in particular that is ALWAYS taking things, and I'm really sick of it. That's all I'm saying.
Every morning my boss meets with the folks from manufacturing and then sends an e-mail to the folks in my group with all of the help needed for the day. Invariably my name is always all over the thing. Because I'm special that way. Well, he did say during my review that he wants me to become the "go-to" person. Guess he got his wish... not exactly mine, though. There's nothing like a half-dozen or more "gotta have it NOW" things shot at you first thing in the morning to get your day started off right!
Then Calvin just called me, and the guy that was responsible for hiring him into his company just resigned. It doesn't mean that much will change for Calvin's job, but this was one of the "good guys" and things will just be a little more of the suck now that he's leaving. Which got us talking along the lines of what we want to do and how we want to make our lives happier, which THEN got us down the conversational thread of how much we don't like what we're doing with our lives right now.
AND the cat is about to get murdered because he's just PISSING ME OFF. If I don't feed him as soon as my feet hit the floor when I get up in the morning, he starts looking for things to that will get him in trouble. His hope is that since I'm up to chase him away from whatever badness he's doing (because yelling at him SO doesn't work), I'll just go ahead and feed him since I'm up already. And the fucker is right. I've had to yell at him (again, ineffectually) for jumping up at the water dragon, trying to paw a soda can down off of the half-wall, messing with the wiring behind the TV, scuffling around under the couch, and jumping up on the kitchen counter. The little asshole.
I've got an MRI scheduled for 11:30, then a girly-doctor appointment for 3:30. Since going to the doctors has now become my least favorite thing to do, this double-appointment day is not helping things.
Feh. It's just going to be a bad day. At 9:30, I can just tell.
Labels: Calvin, headspace, health, journal, kids, pets, work
Sunday, April 22, 2007
Pimp
Occasionally I go on a new journal/blog/website hunting binge. Because I don't have enough of 'em already that I keep up with (see BlogRolling list on sidebar). I'm starting to call my journal/blog habit "Lays". Stopping at one was never a question. It's when you reach the bottom of the bag that you begin to wonder.
Crazy Aunt Purl. She's a funny one, she is. And she's been through a lot of stuff (divorce, self-questioning, reemergence into life) that I identify with.
Making Light. I love blogs written by smart, literary people. Plus there's this.
Philip Greenspun. I like his blog, and I like all of the advice he shares about photography. This guy is a wellspring of information. He's another one of them smart people.
Sunday Undies. An upbeat, funny read. Plus, she's a lot like me in that she makes lists about EVERYTHING.
Avitable. His header says "Tact is for pussies." So of COURSE I have to read him.
Crazy Aunt Purl. She's a funny one, she is. And she's been through a lot of stuff (divorce, self-questioning, reemergence into life) that I identify with.
Making Light. I love blogs written by smart, literary people. Plus there's this.
Philip Greenspun. I like his blog, and I like all of the advice he shares about photography. This guy is a wellspring of information. He's another one of them smart people.
Sunday Undies. An upbeat, funny read. Plus, she's a lot like me in that she makes lists about EVERYTHING.
Avitable. His header says "Tact is for pussies." So of COURSE I have to read him.
Labels: blogs
Saturday, April 21, 2007
43 Things
One year ago today I listed all of the things (that I could think of) that I want to do on my 43 Things account. Today I got the reminder message for those things I set to "remind me in one year".
1. Own all the seasons of Buffy. Okay, so this one keeps getting put off. Every time I go to make an Amazon purchase, this gets reprioritized and something else gets bought. Some day my Buffy jones will overcome my need for anything else.
2. Go to Ireland. This one I've actually made a little progress on. I bought a couple of Frommers-type guides and the tentative plan is to add Ireland to the "European Tour" during my next sabbatical in 2009. (DUDE. That's in two years. Where does the time go?? Seems like we were JUST in Hawaii.)
3. Learn how to scuba dive. Dude (why do I keep using this word?), I haven't even seen the ocean since we went to Canada, and them's cold waters to be learning to scuba in. I'll get to it, some day.
4. Learn how to snowboard. Again, the last chance I had was when we were in Whistler, and then there was no snow on which to learn. So we drank, instead.
5. Visit Westminster Abbey. See #2.
6. Write a book. While, quantity-wise, I write enough to fill a book, I haven't actually written anything linear enough for long enough to suit a book format. Perhaps I will actually try NaNoWriMo this year, instead of just contemplating it and then deciding not to, like I have done every other year.
7. Get out of debt. This one's doing pretty good, actually. Barring some budgetary slips during which we are less like slipping and more like ignoring, we make measurable progress every month.
8. Learn how to play the piano. When I bought my guitar I was going to pick up a keyboard to learn on, too, but I thought better of it. Good thing too, judging by the amount I actually practice on my guitar.
9. Own horses. Yeah, this is less like a "goal" and more like a "dream". Seems every year I get further and further away from realizing this one. I just never imagined when I sold my last horse that I would never have one ever again. I figured it would be a couple of years, tops. Here it is, SIXTEEN years later. My God, has it really been that long? How have I survived???
10. Simplify my life. Barring some family and health drama, my life is actually fairly uncomplicated. Calvin and I are terrific, the job is going well if busy, and our routine runs as smoothly as can be expected.
11. Buy a Nikon D70. I was just thinking about this the other day. Since we're doing some travelling this year, it would be nice to have a new camera. And the price of these has come down now that it's not the most wizzy-bang thing out there anymore.
12. Lose weight. Feh.
13. Drive the Pacific Coast Highway. Well, we'll be in Oregon in July and we're planning on hitting the coast as part of our trip. So while that's not the Monterey-to-Vancouver BC drive that we wanted to take, it's something.
14. Move to Maine. We're going to Maine (two weeks from today! WOO!), but not moving. I think I'd have to work REAL hard to convince Calvin to do that. And I have, and I am, and I will, but Oregon is probably more logical. Still, hope springs eternal and all that.
1. Own all the seasons of Buffy. Okay, so this one keeps getting put off. Every time I go to make an Amazon purchase, this gets reprioritized and something else gets bought. Some day my Buffy jones will overcome my need for anything else.
2. Go to Ireland. This one I've actually made a little progress on. I bought a couple of Frommers-type guides and the tentative plan is to add Ireland to the "European Tour" during my next sabbatical in 2009. (DUDE. That's in two years. Where does the time go?? Seems like we were JUST in Hawaii.)
3. Learn how to scuba dive. Dude (why do I keep using this word?), I haven't even seen the ocean since we went to Canada, and them's cold waters to be learning to scuba in. I'll get to it, some day.
4. Learn how to snowboard. Again, the last chance I had was when we were in Whistler, and then there was no snow on which to learn. So we drank, instead.
5. Visit Westminster Abbey. See #2.
6. Write a book. While, quantity-wise, I write enough to fill a book, I haven't actually written anything linear enough for long enough to suit a book format. Perhaps I will actually try NaNoWriMo this year, instead of just contemplating it and then deciding not to, like I have done every other year.
7. Get out of debt. This one's doing pretty good, actually. Barring some budgetary slips during which we are less like slipping and more like ignoring, we make measurable progress every month.
8. Learn how to play the piano. When I bought my guitar I was going to pick up a keyboard to learn on, too, but I thought better of it. Good thing too, judging by the amount I actually practice on my guitar.
9. Own horses. Yeah, this is less like a "goal" and more like a "dream". Seems every year I get further and further away from realizing this one. I just never imagined when I sold my last horse that I would never have one ever again. I figured it would be a couple of years, tops. Here it is, SIXTEEN years later. My God, has it really been that long? How have I survived???
10. Simplify my life. Barring some family and health drama, my life is actually fairly uncomplicated. Calvin and I are terrific, the job is going well if busy, and our routine runs as smoothly as can be expected.
11. Buy a Nikon D70. I was just thinking about this the other day. Since we're doing some travelling this year, it would be nice to have a new camera. And the price of these has come down now that it's not the most wizzy-bang thing out there anymore.
12. Lose weight. Feh.
13. Drive the Pacific Coast Highway. Well, we'll be in Oregon in July and we're planning on hitting the coast as part of our trip. So while that's not the Monterey-to-Vancouver BC drive that we wanted to take, it's something.
14. Move to Maine. We're going to Maine (two weeks from today! WOO!), but not moving. I think I'd have to work REAL hard to convince Calvin to do that. And I have, and I am, and I will, but Oregon is probably more logical. Still, hope springs eternal and all that.
Friday, April 20, 2007
Interviewed
Crystal interviewed ME because she loves ME and only ME and no one ELSE but ME except maybe her dog Moose.
1. I’ve read your goddess journal with regard to your illness (btw, update it more, I am so sure!) and want to know: how are you feeling? How are things with your health?
I am feeling much, much better. The proton pump flux capacitor photon torpedo inhibitors (aka: Protonix) seem to be doing the trick with the ol' pancreatitis. I haven't had any caffeine or alcohol since April 1st. Or jalapenos, or raw onions, or really anything else that encourages the pancreatitis to flare up. I shall continue to behave myself until the end of July, at which time a) the doctor says I should be fine to re-introduce the "no-no" items in moderate quantities; and b) Calvin and I are going to the Oregon Brewer's Festival and all non-drinking bets will be off.
On Monday I'm getting the much-delayed MRI, just to make sure it's just ("just"! Hah!) pancreatitis, and not something else like stones in the bile ducts and whatnot.
2. How did you meet your loving man?
Calvin and I met at work, and the sheer odds that we met at all are staggering. I had just moved 3000 miles to Arizona. I got a temp job working at AcronymCo, for a construction company building one of their office buildings. Calvin worked in Facilities for AcronymCo itself, and was one of the folks assigned to the new building project. My boss very randomly assigned me to go out to the newly constructed Mechanical Support Building and monitor the building controls alarms coming in as the systems were set up. Calvin was the go-to guy on AcronymCo's behalf for these systems. So I sat in the MSB office and called back alarms via the walkie talkie, and he came in and sat down at another workstation. We chatted and flirted, he typed "696969" on the calculator I was using and slid it over in front of me (SUCH a Calvin move you have no idea), I laughed at his dorky audacity, and it was all over but the cryin' at that point.
For those of you following along at home, yes I met him very soon after moving to Arizona, and yes that means that I was still married at the time to X(m), and Calvin was still married to X(f). But this is indeed how we met.
3. Which is better, America’s Next Top Model or Project Runway, and why? Answer wisely.
Oh geez. There's going to be trouble in our innernet lesbian marriage now. Crystal is NOT going to be happy to find out that I don't watch either one of these. Reality shows just pretty much drive me crazy. I can't see the point to them at all.
4. Is Oprah Winfrey Jesus or the Devil, and why?
Well, Crystal, since you said your own self that you and Jesus are one and the everlovin same, that must make Oprah the Devil by default. Do you see? I PAY ATTENTION.
5. Name the last three books you read that really impressed you---NON-FICTION.
A Year in the Maine Woods by Bernd Heinrich. I really enjoyed this book for multiple reasons. First, of course, is because it's about Maine. As I grew up in the Maine woods, the subject matter resonated with me. The second appeal the book had for me is that I have always wanted to take a hiatus from life and just escape to a simple place and live a simple life. Heinrich immerses himself in the natural world, the simple culture, and the rhythms of the forest for an entire year. Reading about it made me jealous of his opportunity, to be honest.
America - The Book by John Stewart. This counts as non-fiction, right? Even though Stewart pretty much bastardizes historic fact? This thing had me laughing my ass off throughout. I mean, just the fact that the layout, dimensions, and even the paper it's printed on is EXACTLY like a high-school history book, was hysterical. Then there's all these little asides (i.e.: "see fig. 1") about the personal (and questionable) life and motivations of historic people... well, not everyone will "get" this book, but it appeals to my sense of humor. And John Stewart is damnsexy.
River Town: Two Years on the Yangtze by Peter Hessler. I bought this book because I was doing a paper on the Yangtze River for my college class on Pacific Rim culture. I really didn't expect to like this book as much as I did. It's about two young men in the Peace Corps that went to Fuling, China (along the Yangtze River) who stayed for two years as teachers at the local college. They were very American and foreign (the first foreigners to be in that area of China for 50 years), and hijinx ensued as they tried to fit into the local culture.
And you all thought I only read trashy romance novels. Shame on you.
Okay! If anybody would like me to interview them, leave me a comment or shoot me an e-mail!
1. I’ve read your goddess journal with regard to your illness (btw, update it more, I am so sure!) and want to know: how are you feeling? How are things with your health?
I am feeling much, much better. The proton pump flux capacitor photon torpedo inhibitors (aka: Protonix) seem to be doing the trick with the ol' pancreatitis. I haven't had any caffeine or alcohol since April 1st. Or jalapenos, or raw onions, or really anything else that encourages the pancreatitis to flare up. I shall continue to behave myself until the end of July, at which time a) the doctor says I should be fine to re-introduce the "no-no" items in moderate quantities; and b) Calvin and I are going to the Oregon Brewer's Festival and all non-drinking bets will be off.
On Monday I'm getting the much-delayed MRI, just to make sure it's just ("just"! Hah!) pancreatitis, and not something else like stones in the bile ducts and whatnot.
2. How did you meet your loving man?
Calvin and I met at work, and the sheer odds that we met at all are staggering. I had just moved 3000 miles to Arizona. I got a temp job working at AcronymCo, for a construction company building one of their office buildings. Calvin worked in Facilities for AcronymCo itself, and was one of the folks assigned to the new building project. My boss very randomly assigned me to go out to the newly constructed Mechanical Support Building and monitor the building controls alarms coming in as the systems were set up. Calvin was the go-to guy on AcronymCo's behalf for these systems. So I sat in the MSB office and called back alarms via the walkie talkie, and he came in and sat down at another workstation. We chatted and flirted, he typed "696969" on the calculator I was using and slid it over in front of me (SUCH a Calvin move you have no idea), I laughed at his dorky audacity, and it was all over but the cryin' at that point.
For those of you following along at home, yes I met him very soon after moving to Arizona, and yes that means that I was still married at the time to X(m), and Calvin was still married to X(f). But this is indeed how we met.
3. Which is better, America’s Next Top Model or Project Runway, and why? Answer wisely.
Oh geez. There's going to be trouble in our innernet lesbian marriage now. Crystal is NOT going to be happy to find out that I don't watch either one of these. Reality shows just pretty much drive me crazy. I can't see the point to them at all.
4. Is Oprah Winfrey Jesus or the Devil, and why?
Well, Crystal, since you said your own self that you and Jesus are one and the everlovin same, that must make Oprah the Devil by default. Do you see? I PAY ATTENTION.
5. Name the last three books you read that really impressed you---NON-FICTION.
A Year in the Maine Woods by Bernd Heinrich. I really enjoyed this book for multiple reasons. First, of course, is because it's about Maine. As I grew up in the Maine woods, the subject matter resonated with me. The second appeal the book had for me is that I have always wanted to take a hiatus from life and just escape to a simple place and live a simple life. Heinrich immerses himself in the natural world, the simple culture, and the rhythms of the forest for an entire year. Reading about it made me jealous of his opportunity, to be honest.
America - The Book by John Stewart. This counts as non-fiction, right? Even though Stewart pretty much bastardizes historic fact? This thing had me laughing my ass off throughout. I mean, just the fact that the layout, dimensions, and even the paper it's printed on is EXACTLY like a high-school history book, was hysterical. Then there's all these little asides (i.e.: "see fig. 1") about the personal (and questionable) life and motivations of historic people... well, not everyone will "get" this book, but it appeals to my sense of humor. And John Stewart is damnsexy.
River Town: Two Years on the Yangtze by Peter Hessler. I bought this book because I was doing a paper on the Yangtze River for my college class on Pacific Rim culture. I really didn't expect to like this book as much as I did. It's about two young men in the Peace Corps that went to Fuling, China (along the Yangtze River) who stayed for two years as teachers at the local college. They were very American and foreign (the first foreigners to be in that area of China for 50 years), and hijinx ensued as they tried to fit into the local culture.
And you all thought I only read trashy romance novels. Shame on you.
Okay! If anybody would like me to interview them, leave me a comment or shoot me an e-mail!
Labels: blogthings, Calvin, journal, misc, Op:Goddess
I have already proven that I can stop at any time.
In conjunction with my last entry, some more much-anticipated pre-orders from Amazon that are shipping straight to my door like little miracles from the book gods:
A Lick of Frost - Laurell K. Hamilton (November 11th)
Lover Unbound - J.R. Ward (October 2nd)
HP and the Deathly Hallows - J.K. Rowling (July 21st - happy birthday to me!)
The Harlequin - Laurell K. Hamilton (June 13th)
A Lick of Frost - Laurell K. Hamilton (November 11th)
Lover Unbound - J.R. Ward (October 2nd)
HP and the Deathly Hallows - J.K. Rowling (July 21st - happy birthday to me!)
The Harlequin - Laurell K. Hamilton (June 13th)
Labels: books
Thursday, April 19, 2007
The best kind of shopping there is.
I just got done exercising a bunch of gift certificates I had for Barnes and Noble. Jen and I went to lunch together at the mall today, and afterwards spent a nice twenty minutes browsing around the book store. I didn't buy anything then, but the book buying bug did bite me, so this evening I got on-line and placed a very satisfying order. Two weeks from Saturday ends my (mostly) self-imposed book reading hiatus, and oh my goodness do I have a selection to choose from!
Which is where you guys come in. Here are the books I just ordered, and the books I have waiting for me on my dresser. Give me your recommendations on what to read first! Or, if you know of a great book that's not on the list, send me the title. It's not as if I'm going to stop buying books any time soon.
(As an aside, on the whole I have found Amazon's prices to be quite a bit better than B&N's, even with B&N's "membership discounts". Amazon doesn't require a membership, and in every instance of the books I just ordered the copies from Amazon were dollars cheaper. But! I had the gift certificates from B&N, so it's to B&N I went.)
(As another aside, I was going to hyperlink the titles of the books, but then I realized I don't feel like it.)
The Dream Hunter - Sherrilyn Kenyon
Dead Witch Walking - Kim Harrison
Moon Called - Patricia Briggs
And Only to Deceive (A Novel of Suspense) - Tasha Alexander
The Illuminatus! Trilogy - Robert Shea, Robert Anton Wilson
Last Voyage of the Valentina - Santa Montefiore
The Hallowed Hunt - Lois McMaster Bujold
The Outstretched Shadow - Mercedes Lackey, James Mallory
The Rest Falls Away - Colleen Gleason
Good Omens - Terry Pratchett, Neil Gaiman
The Eyre Affair - Jasper Fforde
Love at First Bite - Compilation with Sherrilyn Kenyon
A Walk in the Woods - Bill Bryson
Prague - Arthur Phillips
City of Shadows - Ariana Franklin
Jen's gonna be mad at me - there's like, three books on that list that were gifts from her, and I haven't read them yet. I will! I promise!!!
Which is where you guys come in. Here are the books I just ordered, and the books I have waiting for me on my dresser. Give me your recommendations on what to read first! Or, if you know of a great book that's not on the list, send me the title. It's not as if I'm going to stop buying books any time soon.
(As an aside, on the whole I have found Amazon's prices to be quite a bit better than B&N's, even with B&N's "membership discounts". Amazon doesn't require a membership, and in every instance of the books I just ordered the copies from Amazon were dollars cheaper. But! I had the gift certificates from B&N, so it's to B&N I went.)
(As another aside, I was going to hyperlink the titles of the books, but then I realized I don't feel like it.)
The Dream Hunter - Sherrilyn Kenyon
Dead Witch Walking - Kim Harrison
Moon Called - Patricia Briggs
And Only to Deceive (A Novel of Suspense) - Tasha Alexander
The Illuminatus! Trilogy - Robert Shea, Robert Anton Wilson
Last Voyage of the Valentina - Santa Montefiore
The Hallowed Hunt - Lois McMaster Bujold
The Outstretched Shadow - Mercedes Lackey, James Mallory
The Rest Falls Away - Colleen Gleason
Good Omens - Terry Pratchett, Neil Gaiman
The Eyre Affair - Jasper Fforde
Love at First Bite - Compilation with Sherrilyn Kenyon
A Walk in the Woods - Bill Bryson
Prague - Arthur Phillips
City of Shadows - Ariana Franklin
Jen's gonna be mad at me - there's like, three books on that list that were gifts from her, and I haven't read them yet. I will! I promise!!!
Labels: books
The DFC uses her words.
One of the entrances/exits into my neighborhood is situated in such a way that I have to cross two lanes of busy traffic and through a gap in the median in order to get into the southbound lanes on my route to work. This gap in the median is also frequently used as a U-turn for southbound traffic wanting to reverse direction.
This morning as I pulled up to the exit lane of the neighborhood, a (fat, sweaty) man in an overloaded work pickup pulled wide and stopped sideways across our neighborhood entrance lane, pulling up to face me as he waited for me to get out into traffic so he could complete his U-turn. The problem was, he was situated in such a way that I had to hang back and try to see the traffic coming north through his windshield. I couldn't pull forward to see past him because I would have been halfway out into traffic, and I couldn't see over his bed because it was piled high.
So I'm craning my neck to see past him, he's getting impatient, and then a little old lady pulls up behind him trying to get into the neighborhood. I gestured to the guy that someone was behind him and that he should just pull into the neighborhood and turn around in a driveway. He gestured to me to GO ALREADY. I gestured to him that I couldn't see past his (fat, sweaty) ass and didn't feel like getting into an accident today. The little old lady crept around his tailgate and drove between us.
The guy rolled down his window. I rolled down mine. He spoke first.
"There's twenty fucking feet in front of you. If you would just pull up you could see past me..."
"...you dumb fucking cunt."
I blinked, momentarily believing myself transported to New York City, not Suburbia, Arizona.
Then I leaned into my window, flipped him off, and said, "You have yourself a nice day." I then sat there as opportunity after opportunity to get into traffic passed me by, effectively trapping him into awaiting my pleasure.
Oh my, did he turned red. Every time I turned my head in his direction to check northbound traffic, I smiled at him. And MAN did he fume. I made him sit there for probably only another sixty seconds, but I'm sure it felt longer to him.
Then, as I finally pulled into traffic, I waved at him. And he flipped me off. He got the last "word", but I think I won.
This morning as I pulled up to the exit lane of the neighborhood, a (fat, sweaty) man in an overloaded work pickup pulled wide and stopped sideways across our neighborhood entrance lane, pulling up to face me as he waited for me to get out into traffic so he could complete his U-turn. The problem was, he was situated in such a way that I had to hang back and try to see the traffic coming north through his windshield. I couldn't pull forward to see past him because I would have been halfway out into traffic, and I couldn't see over his bed because it was piled high.
So I'm craning my neck to see past him, he's getting impatient, and then a little old lady pulls up behind him trying to get into the neighborhood. I gestured to the guy that someone was behind him and that he should just pull into the neighborhood and turn around in a driveway. He gestured to me to GO ALREADY. I gestured to him that I couldn't see past his (fat, sweaty) ass and didn't feel like getting into an accident today. The little old lady crept around his tailgate and drove between us.
The guy rolled down his window. I rolled down mine. He spoke first.
"There's twenty fucking feet in front of you. If you would just pull up you could see past me..."
"...you dumb fucking cunt."
I blinked, momentarily believing myself transported to New York City, not Suburbia, Arizona.
Then I leaned into my window, flipped him off, and said, "You have yourself a nice day." I then sat there as opportunity after opportunity to get into traffic passed me by, effectively trapping him into awaiting my pleasure.
Oh my, did he turned red. Every time I turned my head in his direction to check northbound traffic, I smiled at him. And MAN did he fume. I made him sit there for probably only another sixty seconds, but I'm sure it felt longer to him.
Then, as I finally pulled into traffic, I waved at him. And he flipped me off. He got the last "word", but I think I won.
Labels: journal
Wednesday, April 18, 2007
Sense, common.
I feel like writing but I don't feel like I have anything to write about. That ever happen to you?
I submitted an Assessment of Prior Learning form to my college last week. It essentially takes a look at all of the classes and OJT that I've had at AcronymCo and applies that toward credits and classes that I need for my degree. I'm
-->this close<--
to being done with the whole damn thing, and I'm crossing my fingers that the APL will give me my last needed credits without having to take any more classes. We shall see.
My resume is very pretty, and with the finished degree and APICS certification (which I'm pursuing this summer/fall courtesy of AcronymCo) added to it, it will be all bright and shiny when Calvin and I finally decide to move away and do something different.
Has anybody else noticed that Dr. Phil is declining in the direction of Jerry Springer? How's the drama working for ya, Dr. Phil? Calvin and I stopped on his show tonight and it's yet another episode with out of control parents and fucked up teenagers. Calvin is hollering and "Oh no he didn't"-ing and I'm quite convinced that he couldn't clean up his language enough to appear on Dr. Phil.
Not that I would want him to. I'm sorry, but "spare the rod spoil the child" is an excellent philosophy to me. I was spanked, Calvin was spanked, my parents were spanked, his parents were spanked, generation upon generation of children before us were spanked. And yet it is THIS "time out" way of raising children nowadays that has provided for the most messed up children in history. Hmm... correlation much? I'm not saying beat the crap out of them and make them bleed, but damn. There must be something to corporal punishment for it to have turned out mostly normal people up till now. Perhaps the government will give me lots of money to fund a study.
Bring on the hate mail. Shall I talk about gun control now? Heh.
Well, yeah. Chris Rock (and whoever he stole it from) had it right. Gun ownership is fine... just make the bullets $5000 a piece. That'd fix a lot of problems.
What a weird entry.
I submitted an Assessment of Prior Learning form to my college last week. It essentially takes a look at all of the classes and OJT that I've had at AcronymCo and applies that toward credits and classes that I need for my degree. I'm
-->this close<--
to being done with the whole damn thing, and I'm crossing my fingers that the APL will give me my last needed credits without having to take any more classes. We shall see.
My resume is very pretty, and with the finished degree and APICS certification (which I'm pursuing this summer/fall courtesy of AcronymCo) added to it, it will be all bright and shiny when Calvin and I finally decide to move away and do something different.
Has anybody else noticed that Dr. Phil is declining in the direction of Jerry Springer? How's the drama working for ya, Dr. Phil? Calvin and I stopped on his show tonight and it's yet another episode with out of control parents and fucked up teenagers. Calvin is hollering and "Oh no he didn't"-ing and I'm quite convinced that he couldn't clean up his language enough to appear on Dr. Phil.
Not that I would want him to. I'm sorry, but "spare the rod spoil the child" is an excellent philosophy to me. I was spanked, Calvin was spanked, my parents were spanked, his parents were spanked, generation upon generation of children before us were spanked. And yet it is THIS "time out" way of raising children nowadays that has provided for the most messed up children in history. Hmm... correlation much? I'm not saying beat the crap out of them and make them bleed, but damn. There must be something to corporal punishment for it to have turned out mostly normal people up till now. Perhaps the government will give me lots of money to fund a study.
Bring on the hate mail. Shall I talk about gun control now? Heh.
Well, yeah. Chris Rock (and whoever he stole it from) had it right. Gun ownership is fine... just make the bullets $5000 a piece. That'd fix a lot of problems.
What a weird entry.
Labels: journal
Saturday, April 14, 2007
Bloggin' and jammin'
Calvin and I got up at a reasonably reasonable time this morning, put off the inevitable for as long as we possibly could, then cleaned the hell out of the house. Listening to tunes and working together, the task becomes almost (but not quite, entirely unlike) entertaining. We followed that with a ride on Calvin's motorcycle up to Kona Grill for some sushi (do you SEE how I'm rubbing off of him??? He actually ATE SUSHI. I CAN DO ANYTHING.) Reluctant to go home after that, we rode over to the Tilted Kilt for some patio time, a beer for Calvin, and an iced tea for me.
Ever since I got sick back on the first of the month (happy fucking April Fools), I haven't had anything alcoholic to drink at all. I thought it would suck worse than this. HAH! I can stop any time I want to. Now, the heroin on the other hand...
I'm feeling a lot better, and the release from the constant pain that hung with me is such a relief, you have no idea. I was supposed to have an MRI to further investigate my innards, but I haven't heard back from my health insurance to get their approval. Fucking HMO's. I could be DYING ("You're not dying, you just can't think of anything good to do.") and bleeding out my eyes, and they'd still delay on the tests I need.
Anyway, right now Calvin's taking a nap, the house is quiet with the absence of the offspring, I've got my headphones plugged into my laptop jamming iTunes, and I'm working on playlists that I can burn to CD once I finally get another stash of blanks. There are so many great new songs out there, I'm going to have to make a "Mixiness 2007" mix CD. Plus another dual disc project - Disc 1 will be all thrash and jam and be named "Crack Pipe". Disc 2 will be mellow and feel good and be named "Peace Pipe". I am damn good at this stuff.
Newest downloads:
Paralyzer - Finger Eleven ("If your body matches what your eyes can do, you'll probably move right through me on my way to you.")
Girlfriend - Avril Lavingne ("Hell yeah, I'm the motherfuckin' Princess.")
Read My Mind - The Killers ("I never really gave up on breaking out of this two-star town.")
Makes Me Wonder - Maroon 5 (AWESOME SONG) ("God damn, my spinning head. Decisions that made my bed, now I must lay in it and deal with things I left unsaid.")
Ever since I got sick back on the first of the month (happy fucking April Fools), I haven't had anything alcoholic to drink at all. I thought it would suck worse than this. HAH! I can stop any time I want to. Now, the heroin on the other hand...
I'm feeling a lot better, and the release from the constant pain that hung with me is such a relief, you have no idea. I was supposed to have an MRI to further investigate my innards, but I haven't heard back from my health insurance to get their approval. Fucking HMO's. I could be DYING ("You're not dying, you just can't think of anything good to do.") and bleeding out my eyes, and they'd still delay on the tests I need.
Anyway, right now Calvin's taking a nap, the house is quiet with the absence of the offspring, I've got my headphones plugged into my laptop jamming iTunes, and I'm working on playlists that I can burn to CD once I finally get another stash of blanks. There are so many great new songs out there, I'm going to have to make a "Mixiness 2007" mix CD. Plus another dual disc project - Disc 1 will be all thrash and jam and be named "Crack Pipe". Disc 2 will be mellow and feel good and be named "Peace Pipe". I am damn good at this stuff.
Newest downloads:
Paralyzer - Finger Eleven ("If your body matches what your eyes can do, you'll probably move right through me on my way to you.")
Girlfriend - Avril Lavingne ("Hell yeah, I'm the motherfuckin' Princess.")
Read My Mind - The Killers ("I never really gave up on breaking out of this two-star town.")
Makes Me Wonder - Maroon 5 (AWESOME SONG) ("God damn, my spinning head. Decisions that made my bed, now I must lay in it and deal with things I left unsaid.")
Friday, April 13, 2007
At some point
Calvin and I have been talking about moving over the past couple of days. How to get started, what the steps are, where to move to and what to do for jobs when we get there, what the point of it all is. Calvin hems and haws at moving, first falling on the side of enthusiasm, then falling on the side of protest. I call him a chicken and accuse him of being stubborn and unenthusiastic and change-adverse. And yet, I need to be kinder and remember what it was like when I first contemplated moving away from Maine. One side of my mind was excited, the other side extremely sad. The extremely sad side dominated and has stayed present in the forefront ever since.
I don't want Calvin to experience the same crushing homesickness that I have. And it's not fair of me to assume that he wouldn't, just because I don't happen to like living in Arizona. It's where he was born and grew up. His roots are here, although most of them are paved over with mini-malls. So though I can't for the life of me see how anyone could develop a sense of home and rightness about this place, I must assume that it is indeed possible, and that my husband feels affection for our current home state.
I want him to hate it here as much as I do, but that's just mean. And unfair. I want him to want to get away as badly as I do, but I can't force the feeling onto him and I shouldn't want to.
It comes to this - I can't imagine ever being happy here. But can I stay for the sake of Calvin's happiness? Are there changes to our current life that would make me happier to stay in Arizona? Nothing comes to mind, but in order to be totally fair about this I have to at least entertain the exercise.
Even though the thought of staying here forever just chokes the spirit right out of me. I don't intend to use that as emotional blackmail (I know he's going to read this), it's just the very real and true way that I feel. I want to up and leave. Sell the house, pick a direction, and go. Figure the rest of it out when we get there. That simplistic of a plan is not only unrealistic, it's irresponsible.
But, it's also not impossible. Where there's a will there's a way, and I've always been a fan of having a simple life. Do I have to have a career making as much money as I do now? I'm not career-oriented, and if we downsize our life we won't need the salaries we currently require. Do I have to have a big house and fancy cars? No, just a little place that feels like home and something that runs. The things that are REALLY important to me - my connection with Calvin, my connection to the place that I live, the nourishment of my spirit - all of those things would be met and even improved upon if we just moved to somewhere that spoke to us, and de-complicated our lives.
But in order to make things uncomplicated, first they have to be more complicated. Beginning with the first and biggest complication - getting both of us on the same page about moving.
I have to be patient, I have to be fair, and I have to listen to all the things that Calvin is saying and not saying. But it's hard to bring myself to that sense of stillness, when my heart and mind are wild to get out of this place.
I don't want Calvin to experience the same crushing homesickness that I have. And it's not fair of me to assume that he wouldn't, just because I don't happen to like living in Arizona. It's where he was born and grew up. His roots are here, although most of them are paved over with mini-malls. So though I can't for the life of me see how anyone could develop a sense of home and rightness about this place, I must assume that it is indeed possible, and that my husband feels affection for our current home state.
I want him to hate it here as much as I do, but that's just mean. And unfair. I want him to want to get away as badly as I do, but I can't force the feeling onto him and I shouldn't want to.
It comes to this - I can't imagine ever being happy here. But can I stay for the sake of Calvin's happiness? Are there changes to our current life that would make me happier to stay in Arizona? Nothing comes to mind, but in order to be totally fair about this I have to at least entertain the exercise.
Even though the thought of staying here forever just chokes the spirit right out of me. I don't intend to use that as emotional blackmail (I know he's going to read this), it's just the very real and true way that I feel. I want to up and leave. Sell the house, pick a direction, and go. Figure the rest of it out when we get there. That simplistic of a plan is not only unrealistic, it's irresponsible.
But, it's also not impossible. Where there's a will there's a way, and I've always been a fan of having a simple life. Do I have to have a career making as much money as I do now? I'm not career-oriented, and if we downsize our life we won't need the salaries we currently require. Do I have to have a big house and fancy cars? No, just a little place that feels like home and something that runs. The things that are REALLY important to me - my connection with Calvin, my connection to the place that I live, the nourishment of my spirit - all of those things would be met and even improved upon if we just moved to somewhere that spoke to us, and de-complicated our lives.
But in order to make things uncomplicated, first they have to be more complicated. Beginning with the first and biggest complication - getting both of us on the same page about moving.
I have to be patient, I have to be fair, and I have to listen to all the things that Calvin is saying and not saying. But it's hard to bring myself to that sense of stillness, when my heart and mind are wild to get out of this place.
Seriously.
Okay, so I watched Grey's Anatomy last night, the recap show of the past few seasons that rolls it all up heading into the last handful of episodes in the season. At the end they had a new Grey's-oriented music video for Brandi Carlile's new single, "The Story", from her album of the same title.
The song made me sit up. And listen. And get goosebumps, and almost cry a little, especially at the second stanza where it goes from melodious to KICK ASS at the turn of a single note. And she does it again near the end of the song.
I went to iTunes and downloaded the song, and added the album to my Amazon wishlist. I've listened to it three times this morning, and it just gets me, it gets to me. I don't know why, it's just one of those songs that makes an immediate connection in me. That hasn't happened in a long time.
The Grey's website has got the video linked on their main page. I don't know how long it's going to be there, so I highly recommend you go check it out, like, RIGHT NOW.
Updated to add: I found the non-Grey's (as in, what they'd play on MTV) video on YouTube, which is probably a more permanant location than the ABC site.
The song made me sit up. And listen. And get goosebumps, and almost cry a little, especially at the second stanza where it goes from melodious to KICK ASS at the turn of a single note. And she does it again near the end of the song.
I went to iTunes and downloaded the song, and added the album to my Amazon wishlist. I've listened to it three times this morning, and it just gets me, it gets to me. I don't know why, it's just one of those songs that makes an immediate connection in me. That hasn't happened in a long time.
The Grey's website has got the video linked on their main page. I don't know how long it's going to be there, so I highly recommend you go check it out, like, RIGHT NOW.
Updated to add: I found the non-Grey's (as in, what they'd play on MTV) video on YouTube, which is probably a more permanant location than the ABC site.
Labels: best things, music
Wednesday, April 11, 2007
It's a Maine thing, you wouldn't understand.
Last night as I was falling asleep I was struck with a craving so hard that my mouth literally watered.
A REAL Maine Italian sandwich.
Nobody outside of Maine understands what's with these things. I've forced them upon Calvin, Marie and Michael during our visits back home, and they're all, "And? So? It's a sandwich." To which I respond that I am never speaking to them again.
A REAL Maine Italian consists of a foot of soft italian bread split down the center (hot-dog style), topped with ham or salami, white american or provolone (depending on the meat), then sliced tomatoes, sliced green peppers, kalamata olives, onions, pickles, salt, pepper, and olive oil. The whole thing is wrapped up in wax paper and the only way to eat it RIGHT is to peel the paper away from one end a little at a time as you're eating it, so you don't drop all of the ingredients and get covered in oil.
The thing that makes the Maine Italian REAL is the bread and the pickles. The bread is a foot of soft chewy goodness. The pickles are TART and just spicy enough. I haven't been able to find either outside of Maine. Substitutes are tolerated NOT AT ALL.
Nearly everyone reading this entry is "from away" (that is, not from Maine). Go here for a unique, non-Mainer's perspective. Play the slide show. I go to that Amato's all the time... well, when I'm home. Which I will be in less than a month. I may cry. The tears, they are of joy.
A REAL Maine Italian sandwich.
Nobody outside of Maine understands what's with these things. I've forced them upon Calvin, Marie and Michael during our visits back home, and they're all, "And? So? It's a sandwich." To which I respond that I am never speaking to them again.
A REAL Maine Italian consists of a foot of soft italian bread split down the center (hot-dog style), topped with ham or salami, white american or provolone (depending on the meat), then sliced tomatoes, sliced green peppers, kalamata olives, onions, pickles, salt, pepper, and olive oil. The whole thing is wrapped up in wax paper and the only way to eat it RIGHT is to peel the paper away from one end a little at a time as you're eating it, so you don't drop all of the ingredients and get covered in oil.
The thing that makes the Maine Italian REAL is the bread and the pickles. The bread is a foot of soft chewy goodness. The pickles are TART and just spicy enough. I haven't been able to find either outside of Maine. Substitutes are tolerated NOT AT ALL.
Nearly everyone reading this entry is "from away" (that is, not from Maine). Go here for a unique, non-Mainer's perspective. Play the slide show. I go to that Amato's all the time... well, when I'm home. Which I will be in less than a month. I may cry. The tears, they are of joy.
Labels: best things, Maine
Monday, April 09, 2007
8 hours 44 minutes and counting
I have been upright (or at least, not lying down) for 8 hours 44 minutes and counting, people! That's a record since last Sunday morning. Not the one we just had, the one BEFORE that.
I was supposed to have an appointment with a GI doctor (who is going to want to stick things in me and up me and down me, I just know it) this morning, but the schedule chickie messed things up so it's tomorrow morning. One more day to wonder at the mystery that is my aching innards. Though it doesn't hurt quite as much to be conscious, but that might be a build-up of Vicodin talking. Better not get my hopes up.
That is all, carry on.
I was supposed to have an appointment with a GI doctor (who is going to want to stick things in me and up me and down me, I just know it) this morning, but the schedule chickie messed things up so it's tomorrow morning. One more day to wonder at the mystery that is my aching innards. Though it doesn't hurt quite as much to be conscious, but that might be a build-up of Vicodin talking. Better not get my hopes up.
That is all, carry on.
Labels: health
Saturday, April 07, 2007
Meme courtesy of Bitchypoo
001. When was your last kiss? Um? Yesterday? Hey, I'm gonna fix that right this second.
002. Do you have a pet? Two dogs, one cat (although really the cat has us), three lizards, one snake.
003. What are you dreading right now? My doctor's appointment on Monday.
004. Do you celebrate 4/20? Only in the way that I celebrate the 20th of any month. Except July. That's my birthday. Usually, I celebrate it by having my gallbladder removed. Or my wisdom teeth. Or some other needless part of my anatomy. This year? I'm betting on my appendix.
005. Only child? I have a half-sister who is 10 years older than me. I've been the "only child" in the household since I was six. Now? I'm the only grown-up.
006. Favorite ice cream? It depends on my mood. Sometimes I like plain ol' vanilla, other times I'm feeling complicated like Mocha Almond Fudge, and yet other times I just jones for chocolate. Then there's this Italian gelato place nearby and I always get half chocolate and half coconut.
007. When was your last doctors visit? Yesterday. And the day before that was the ER. And the day before that was the medical imaging center for a CT scan. And the day before THAT was my PCP. Today is the only day this week that I haven't gone somewhere medical.
008. Do you get the full 8 hours of sleep a night? Yes. Sometimes more. Lately, a LOT more.
009. How long does it take you to get ready in the morning? Exactly 40 minutes.
010. “First Loves Are Never Over;” is this true for you? FUCK no. In fact, "Hate is a strong word, but I really really really don't like you."
011. Think of all your exes. Would you take any of them back? See #10.
012. What if someone came to your house on your “lazy day”? That's pretty much the only time they'd find anyone home.
013. Do you talk to loved ones and friends graves? I'm an entire country away from the graves of my loved ones.
014. Have you ever been on your schools track team? BWAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAAA!!!! Oh, my sides.
015. Do you own a pair of Converse? Actually? Yes.
016. Who did you copy and paste this survey from? From Bitchypoo.
017. Do you eat raw cookie dough? Why? Do you have some?
018. Have you ever kicked a vending machine? Shaken, not kicked.
019. Don’t you hate when the radio ruins good songs by playing them over and over? I love it for the first few weeks, and then I start to get tired of it.
020. Would you rather them play the whole video or just a clip? The whole video.
021. Do you watch Trading Spaces? Once upon a time, but it got old.
022. How do you eat oreos? Split 'em, eat the frosting off one side, eat that wafer, then eat the other wafer.
023. Have you ever stayed online for a very long time waiting for someone to sign on? No.
024. Are you cocky? It ain't braggin' motherfucker if you back it up.
030. Could you live without a computer? No. No no no no no.
031. Do you wear your shoes in the house? No, I take them off as soon as I get home.
033. At what age did you find out that Santa wasn’t real? I don't remember. Six, maybe?
034. How many phones, house phones and cell phones are in your house? Four cell phones, three house phones.
035. What do you do when you’re sad? Cry, and listen to my "Let's Be Depressed!" mix.
036. Who would you call first if you won the lottery? Assuming Calvin wasn't right there when we found out? Umm... probably my sister? Calvin's sister? His mom? I don't know, I think I'd just stand in place and shake for a while.
037. Last time you saw your best friend? He's sitting right here; or else, Heather just left last week.
038. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be? Right now, I just want to be healthy.
039. Last movie you rented? Via Netflix, Little Miss Sunshine, and Season One of Battlestar Galactica.
040. Who/what sleeps with you every night? Calvin and Oz.
041. Are you/have you ever been in love? Yes.
042. Pancakes or french toast? Pancakes.
043. How do you like your eggs? Over medium with triangles of toast to poke at the yokes and sop 'em up. With worcestershire.
045. Is anyone on your bad side right now? Not really.
046. What jewelry are you wearing? My wedding ring.
047. What’s the first thing you do when you get online? Check my emails.
048. Do you own any TV seasons on DVD? Grey's Anatomy Season 1, The OC Season 1, Sex and the City Season 1.
049. Do you watch Grey’s Anatomy? If watch = obsess.
050. How do most people spell your name? Most people call me a different name altogether.
051. Would you wear a boy/girlfriends clothes? I wear Calvin's shirts and sweaters all the time.
054. What was the first movie that gave you nightmares? Children of the Corn. Ugh.
055 Who’s your favorite celebrity couple? I HATE celebrity couples.
056. Favorite 80’s teen movie? Ferris Beauller's Day Off.
057. Is Justin Timberlake becoming the next Michael Jackson? Why, did you hear anything about him molesting little boys?
058. Do you know someone that wasn’t born in the United States? I know many people that weren't born in the US. AcronymCo is as multinational as a company gets.
059. Favorite name for a boy? Hey, kid.
060. Will you keep your last name when you get married? I didn’t, either time.
061. Your favorite restaurant that you don’t get to eat at much? Luke's. They serve the best Italian beef sandwiches and greasy fries EVER.
065. Have you ever cursed at a teacher or a boss? BWAAAHAHAHAH!
066. How do you eat your steak? Medium with A-1.
068. How do you get to school? On-line.
069. Do you have a dishwasher? Yes, and two backup dishwashers called Marie and Michael.
071. Would you survive in prison? Sure, I'd become the main bitch right away. Oh HELL no, I'm all kinds of a wimp.
072. Next concert you hope to go to? I don't know, I haven't perused Ticketmaster in a while.
073. What was the last thing you ate? Pepto.
075. Who did you last say “I love you” to? Calvin.
075. Who is the youngest in your family? Me.
076. If all of your friends were going on a road trip, who would be left there? Whoever was wasted the night before.
077. Do you know anyone with the same name as you? A couple, yes.
078. How many syllables does your name have? Three.
079. What does your license plate say? Like I'm going to tell you, stalker! It's a line out of a Josh Groban song, though.
080. When is the last time you ate peanut butter? Last week?
081. What service is your cell phone? T-Mobile.
082. When’s the last time you ran? Is that a joke?
083. What’s the last thing you purchased? Pizza from Domino's.
084. Do your siblings ever pay for stuff for you? BWAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAA!!!
085. Where is your cellphone? In my purse in the bedroom. Which is why I never hear it when Heather calls me.
086. Is your phone on vibrate or ring? Ringtone, "This Ain't A Scene, It's An Arms Race" by Fallout Boy.
087. What brand is your trousers right now? Old Navy jammies.
088. Ever been to Vegas? No, and every time I mention that to someone they say, "You've NEVER been to VEGAS?!?" As if I said, "I never brush my teeth."
089. Did you have breakfast this morning? Yes, Calvin made me scrambled eggs and toast.
090. Do you like marshmallows? Sparingly, in hot chocolate or smores, or on Calvin's sister's yams. Heh. That sounds kind of dirty, doesn't it?
091. What irritates you most on the internet? Popups.
092. What brand is your digital camera? Sony.
093. Do you watch movies with your parents? I used to with Grandma.
094. Do you wear short shorts? BWAAAAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Damn, this survey is funny.
096. What song best describes your life right now? "Bitter Song" by Butterfly Boucher.
097 Do you own expensive perfume/cologne? Not expensive, no. Marie tends to get me stuff from Vicky's Secret, and Calvin got me a bottle of Happy last Christmas.
098. Are you taking college classes right now? No, but probably soon.
099. Who are you dating right now? Patrick Dempsey.
100. Do your parents know you curse? The first time I ever cursed in my life was when I was about six, in front of my aunt and uncle. My aunt looked at my uncle and said, "Yep, she's one of ours."
101. Do you like sushi? LOVE the sushi.
102. Do you get your hair cut every month? Every few months or so.
103. Do you go online everyday? When I'm not sick, yes.
104. Do your jeans have rips, tears, and holes in them? A few pairs do.
105. If you could look like any family member, dead or living, who would it be? I've been told I look like my mother and my grandmother.
002. Do you have a pet? Two dogs, one cat (although really the cat has us), three lizards, one snake.
003. What are you dreading right now? My doctor's appointment on Monday.
004. Do you celebrate 4/20? Only in the way that I celebrate the 20th of any month. Except July. That's my birthday. Usually, I celebrate it by having my gallbladder removed. Or my wisdom teeth. Or some other needless part of my anatomy. This year? I'm betting on my appendix.
005. Only child? I have a half-sister who is 10 years older than me. I've been the "only child" in the household since I was six. Now? I'm the only grown-up.
006. Favorite ice cream? It depends on my mood. Sometimes I like plain ol' vanilla, other times I'm feeling complicated like Mocha Almond Fudge, and yet other times I just jones for chocolate. Then there's this Italian gelato place nearby and I always get half chocolate and half coconut.
007. When was your last doctors visit? Yesterday. And the day before that was the ER. And the day before that was the medical imaging center for a CT scan. And the day before THAT was my PCP. Today is the only day this week that I haven't gone somewhere medical.
008. Do you get the full 8 hours of sleep a night? Yes. Sometimes more. Lately, a LOT more.
009. How long does it take you to get ready in the morning? Exactly 40 minutes.
010. “First Loves Are Never Over;” is this true for you? FUCK no. In fact, "Hate is a strong word, but I really really really don't like you."
011. Think of all your exes. Would you take any of them back? See #10.
012. What if someone came to your house on your “lazy day”? That's pretty much the only time they'd find anyone home.
013. Do you talk to loved ones and friends graves? I'm an entire country away from the graves of my loved ones.
014. Have you ever been on your schools track team? BWAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAAA!!!! Oh, my sides.
015. Do you own a pair of Converse? Actually? Yes.
016. Who did you copy and paste this survey from? From Bitchypoo.
017. Do you eat raw cookie dough? Why? Do you have some?
018. Have you ever kicked a vending machine? Shaken, not kicked.
019. Don’t you hate when the radio ruins good songs by playing them over and over? I love it for the first few weeks, and then I start to get tired of it.
020. Would you rather them play the whole video or just a clip? The whole video.
021. Do you watch Trading Spaces? Once upon a time, but it got old.
022. How do you eat oreos? Split 'em, eat the frosting off one side, eat that wafer, then eat the other wafer.
023. Have you ever stayed online for a very long time waiting for someone to sign on? No.
024. Are you cocky? It ain't braggin' motherfucker if you back it up.
030. Could you live without a computer? No. No no no no no.
031. Do you wear your shoes in the house? No, I take them off as soon as I get home.
033. At what age did you find out that Santa wasn’t real? I don't remember. Six, maybe?
034. How many phones, house phones and cell phones are in your house? Four cell phones, three house phones.
035. What do you do when you’re sad? Cry, and listen to my "Let's Be Depressed!" mix.
036. Who would you call first if you won the lottery? Assuming Calvin wasn't right there when we found out? Umm... probably my sister? Calvin's sister? His mom? I don't know, I think I'd just stand in place and shake for a while.
037. Last time you saw your best friend? He's sitting right here; or else, Heather just left last week.
038. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be? Right now, I just want to be healthy.
039. Last movie you rented? Via Netflix, Little Miss Sunshine, and Season One of Battlestar Galactica.
040. Who/what sleeps with you every night? Calvin and Oz.
041. Are you/have you ever been in love? Yes.
042. Pancakes or french toast? Pancakes.
043. How do you like your eggs? Over medium with triangles of toast to poke at the yokes and sop 'em up. With worcestershire.
045. Is anyone on your bad side right now? Not really.
046. What jewelry are you wearing? My wedding ring.
047. What’s the first thing you do when you get online? Check my emails.
048. Do you own any TV seasons on DVD? Grey's Anatomy Season 1, The OC Season 1, Sex and the City Season 1.
049. Do you watch Grey’s Anatomy? If watch = obsess.
050. How do most people spell your name? Most people call me a different name altogether.
051. Would you wear a boy/girlfriends clothes? I wear Calvin's shirts and sweaters all the time.
054. What was the first movie that gave you nightmares? Children of the Corn. Ugh.
055 Who’s your favorite celebrity couple? I HATE celebrity couples.
056. Favorite 80’s teen movie? Ferris Beauller's Day Off.
057. Is Justin Timberlake becoming the next Michael Jackson? Why, did you hear anything about him molesting little boys?
058. Do you know someone that wasn’t born in the United States? I know many people that weren't born in the US. AcronymCo is as multinational as a company gets.
059. Favorite name for a boy? Hey, kid.
060. Will you keep your last name when you get married? I didn’t, either time.
061. Your favorite restaurant that you don’t get to eat at much? Luke's. They serve the best Italian beef sandwiches and greasy fries EVER.
065. Have you ever cursed at a teacher or a boss? BWAAAHAHAHAH!
066. How do you eat your steak? Medium with A-1.
068. How do you get to school? On-line.
069. Do you have a dishwasher? Yes, and two backup dishwashers called Marie and Michael.
071. Would you survive in prison? Sure, I'd become the main bitch right away. Oh HELL no, I'm all kinds of a wimp.
072. Next concert you hope to go to? I don't know, I haven't perused Ticketmaster in a while.
073. What was the last thing you ate? Pepto.
075. Who did you last say “I love you” to? Calvin.
075. Who is the youngest in your family? Me.
076. If all of your friends were going on a road trip, who would be left there? Whoever was wasted the night before.
077. Do you know anyone with the same name as you? A couple, yes.
078. How many syllables does your name have? Three.
079. What does your license plate say? Like I'm going to tell you, stalker! It's a line out of a Josh Groban song, though.
080. When is the last time you ate peanut butter? Last week?
081. What service is your cell phone? T-Mobile.
082. When’s the last time you ran? Is that a joke?
083. What’s the last thing you purchased? Pizza from Domino's.
084. Do your siblings ever pay for stuff for you? BWAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAA!!!
085. Where is your cellphone? In my purse in the bedroom. Which is why I never hear it when Heather calls me.
086. Is your phone on vibrate or ring? Ringtone, "This Ain't A Scene, It's An Arms Race" by Fallout Boy.
087. What brand is your trousers right now? Old Navy jammies.
088. Ever been to Vegas? No, and every time I mention that to someone they say, "You've NEVER been to VEGAS?!?" As if I said, "I never brush my teeth."
089. Did you have breakfast this morning? Yes, Calvin made me scrambled eggs and toast.
090. Do you like marshmallows? Sparingly, in hot chocolate or smores, or on Calvin's sister's yams. Heh. That sounds kind of dirty, doesn't it?
091. What irritates you most on the internet? Popups.
092. What brand is your digital camera? Sony.
093. Do you watch movies with your parents? I used to with Grandma.
094. Do you wear short shorts? BWAAAAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Damn, this survey is funny.
096. What song best describes your life right now? "Bitter Song" by Butterfly Boucher.
097 Do you own expensive perfume/cologne? Not expensive, no. Marie tends to get me stuff from Vicky's Secret, and Calvin got me a bottle of Happy last Christmas.
098. Are you taking college classes right now? No, but probably soon.
099. Who are you dating right now? Patrick Dempsey.
100. Do your parents know you curse? The first time I ever cursed in my life was when I was about six, in front of my aunt and uncle. My aunt looked at my uncle and said, "Yep, she's one of ours."
101. Do you like sushi? LOVE the sushi.
102. Do you get your hair cut every month? Every few months or so.
103. Do you go online everyday? When I'm not sick, yes.
104. Do your jeans have rips, tears, and holes in them? A few pairs do.
105. If you could look like any family member, dead or living, who would it be? I've been told I look like my mother and my grandmother.
State of My Health Address: In Haiku
I am bedridden.
Not the fun way, since Sunday.
Sleeping gets way old.
ER gets old too.
The place not the show, with no
Goran Visnjic in sight.
My family's funny.
"I have a pain in my chess..."
Gets laughs every time.
Ode to Vicodin.
Chased with some Pepto Bismol,
and twelve Tylenol.
To live, ah, to eat!
Crackers and water have done
wonders for my waist.
Normalcy, I pray.
Else I will gnaw off my arm
out of sheer boredom.
Not the fun way, since Sunday.
Sleeping gets way old.
ER gets old too.
The place not the show, with no
Goran Visnjic in sight.
My family's funny.
"I have a pain in my chess..."
Gets laughs every time.
Ode to Vicodin.
Chased with some Pepto Bismol,
and twelve Tylenol.
To live, ah, to eat!
Crackers and water have done
wonders for my waist.
Normalcy, I pray.
Else I will gnaw off my arm
out of sheer boredom.
Labels: health
Wednesday, April 04, 2007
I remember when I lost my mind
Remember last post when I had a no good, very bad day? Yes, well that feeling that I thought was either anxiety or indigestion is actually pancreatitis.
Yippee.
Yippee.
Labels: health
Monday, April 02, 2007
No good very bad day.
I'm having a fabulously bad day. For no particular reason. I woke up with my insides on fire, so I got to choose... indigestion, or panic attack? Hmm. I had some toast and took a couple of Tums, no effect. Work is THE SUCK today and things I usually manage with alacrity are just really combing my hair forward. I have been growling and growling and GROWLING at everything and everyone (though they can't hear me, because I'm growling at their e-mails and their mind-boggling stupid stupidness). I was so wound up at one point I REALLY needed to calm down/burn off some steam. I decided to work out and put in a new Yoga CD, then gave it up as a bad idea about five minutes into it because the poses were just pissing me off. So I got on the elliptical and pounded away to Disturbed, but didn't really feel better. Took a shower. Had a little cry, even. Ate some lunch. Went to the tanning salon, and then Trader Joe's. All things aimed at making myself feel better. But my insides are still clenched, I'm eating my way through a bucket of TJ's lowfat Chocolatey Cats Cookies, work continues to be THE SUCK, and I don't know when this mood is going to end.
Blarg.
Blarg.
Labels: headspace
Sunday, April 01, 2007
We'll watch that...
The Bourne Ultimatum
Pirates of the Caribbean - At World's End
War, Inc.
Hot Fuzz
Meet the Robinsons
I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry
Fracture
Shortcut to Happiness
The Reaping
Evan Almighty
Transformers
Indiana Jones 4
The Golden Compass (adaptation of "His Dark Materials" trilogy by Phillip Pullman)
Jurassic Park IV
The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian
Live Free or Die Hard (Die Hard #4)
Star Trek XI
The Dark Knight (next Batman movie)
Grindhouse
The Nanny Diaries (HUH! Didn't know they were going to make a movie out of this book. I read it... I'll watch it.)
Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix (of course)
Stardust
Shooter
Wolverine (X-Men spinoff)
Magneto (X-Men prequel)
I Am Legend
Where the Wild Things Are (Tom Hanks is involved in this, so it should be good.)
The Happening
Tonight, He Comes
The Lovely Bones (I didn't know they were making this into a movie, either! Cool.)
White Noise
Also looking forward to the next Bond movie, and the Angels and Demons adaptation (if and when they ever get their butt in gear).
Pirates of the Caribbean - At World's End
War, Inc.
Hot Fuzz
Meet the Robinsons
I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry
Fracture
Shortcut to Happiness
The Reaping
Evan Almighty
Transformers
Indiana Jones 4
The Golden Compass (adaptation of "His Dark Materials" trilogy by Phillip Pullman)
Jurassic Park IV
The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian
Live Free or Die Hard (Die Hard #4)
Star Trek XI
The Dark Knight (next Batman movie)
Grindhouse
The Nanny Diaries (HUH! Didn't know they were going to make a movie out of this book. I read it... I'll watch it.)
Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix (of course)
Stardust
Shooter
Wolverine (X-Men spinoff)
Magneto (X-Men prequel)
I Am Legend
Where the Wild Things Are (Tom Hanks is involved in this, so it should be good.)
The Happening
Tonight, He Comes
The Lovely Bones (I didn't know they were making this into a movie, either! Cool.)
White Noise
Also looking forward to the next Bond movie, and the Angels and Demons adaptation (if and when they ever get their butt in gear).
Labels: movies
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