Sunday, October 28, 2007

Stolen from Nebshit Nance (heh)

Do you have any weird things in your room?: Ummm... Calvin's pRon collection?

If you could have any pet what would you have?: A horse.

Best thing to do on a rainy day?: Eat a grilled cheese sandwich and tomato soup.

How many movies do you own?: Around 50?

Best vacation you've ever gone on?: It's a tie between our trip to Hawaii and our last trip to Maine.

Coolest person you've ever met?: Calvin's Grandparents.

Ever taken a trip on a bus?: When my Grandmother took me and my cousin and aunt to Florida, we rode a Greyhound from Kissemme to Busch Gardens. It sucked.

Wildest thing you've done while drunk?: Danced on stage in my skirt and bra. Any other wild things I can't mention here.

Best time you've ever had at a playground?: Umm? Playing kissing tag in fifth grade?

Ever almost get hit by a train?: Nope.

Has anyone ever sent you flowers, why?: My friend Kim from Maine send me flowers for my last birthday. Calvin's gotten them for me a couple of times, too.

Ever have an imaginary friend?: Yes, Joshua. What do you mean you can't see him, he's sitting right next to me!

Best color of eyes?: Happy.

Ever electrocute yourself?: When I was little we (me and the other girls at the stables) would do this thing with the electric fence containing the horses (hooked up to a car battery), where a few of us would hold hands and the girl on one end would grab the fence and the girl on the other end would feel the shock. Other than that, I have touched light switches and sockets with wet hands, which wasn't terribly bright of me. Well, and neither was the first thing.

Most cans of pop you've ever drank in a day?: Six.

How many phones do you own?: Landlines: one in the kitchen, one in the bedroom. Cell phone: one.

Do you collect anything cool?: Shot glasses and post cards. How cool is that?

How often do you clean your room?: Weekly.

Best thing to watch late at night?: Reruns of CSI.

What friend do you have the most fun with?: I have the most fun with the friend that I'm with at the time. ALL of my friends are fun.

Ever caused or been involved in a car crash?: I caused a fender bender once - I backed into a car while I was in the truck. Just didn't see them through the Avalanche's STELLAR back window. Not a scratch on the truck, but their trunk was bent all to hell.

Worst thing someone's ever done to you?: They all involved my ex.

Are you creative?: Occasionally.

Do you enjoy family gatherings?: Depends on whose family.

Do you let other people drive your car?: We have been known to let Marie and Michael borrow the truck, but VERY SELDOMLY.

What's something you own that's of great value to you but no one else?: My "Brad's Bunch" marble paper weight, and the ceramic bear my mother made for me when I was born.

Favorite class you took in high school?: Probably one of my English classes. I LOVED the "World Culture and the Arts" class that I took in college, though.

Best sleep over you've been to?: The life-long one I'm on with Calvin. Awww...

Favorite family member to hang out with?: Other than Calvin? Oh, geez, THIS question is gonna start a fight...

Something you like to eat that everyone else thinks is gross?: If by "everyone else" you mean my immediate family, anything that remotely resembles a vegetable.

Ever lost something important?: Not that I know of.

Do you look good in hats?: Absolutely not, to my everlasting disappointment.

How often do you do laundry?: Every weekend. But it only gets washed and dried, not folded/hung up/put away. That's more like... monthly.

Do you like driving places at night?: Yes, one of the ways I cool off my temper or fend off a bad mood is to go for a drive at night with a good (usually loud) CD.

Best present you ever gave someone?: I don't know. You'd have to ask everyone I've ever given a present to. What a dumb question.

Best gift you ever received?: My first horse, compliments of my Grandma.

Have anything on your computer you wouldn't want people to see?: Neeeeeext question...

Do you like playing video games?: No, I never really got into them.

Ever been on a sports team?: Soccer, briefly, in seventh grade. Also, several equine teams.

Best way to waste a day?: I'd say having sex, except that's not a waste. Reading? Napping? Watching reruns of CSI?

Where do you keep your bath towel?: On my person at all times, like a good little Hitchhiker.

Ever worn a wig?: No.

What do you think of tongue piercing?: I wouldn't do it myself. I mean, how bad does it suck to BITE your tongue?

Do you own any rechargeable batteries?: Yes, because we have digital cameras.

Ever get a rope burn?: Yes, and they are THE SUCK.

Favorite place to get food from?: Gillespie's Farm in Maine.

Ever thought you were going to marry someone?: Imagine my surprise when I actually did!

What age did you have the most fun?: 20's

Longest phone conversation you've ever had?: Probably with my friends when I was a teenager.

Ever been in a hotel with your best friend?: Duh.

Ever been hunting?: No, but I have fished.

Would you ever disown your family?: If they deserved it, yes.

Is TV the best thing ever?: No, that would be the Internet.

Ever ate cake out of a cup?: Como?

Do you own beads or any craft supplies?: BWAAAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA.

Ever know anyone who house burned down?: My sister burned down my mother's house.

Best Christmas ever?: Probably one from my childhood, or the first one I had with Calvin and the kids.

Favorite thing to sleep in?: Skin.

Ever slept outside?: Yes. Camping and in the hammock at my Grandmother's house.

What's the worst day of your life?: The day my Grandma died.

Are you having a good day today?: Sure.

Do you think the other members of your family are happy?: As much as I am, I guess.

When the last time you went to the doctors?: A few weeks ago.

Ever think you were going to die?: YES.

Are you tired right now?: Not really.

Ever have a pet die?: I'm afraid so.

What did you dream last night? I don't remember all the details, but it was very James Bond-ish. There was running from people and hiding from people and kicking people's asses and discovering traitors amongst friends. I have very well developed plotlines in my dreams.

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Saturday, October 27, 2007

Stolen from Jen

YOUR GUY SIDE:
[x] You like hoodies.
[x] You like jeans.
[ ] Dogs are better than cats.
[ ] It's hilarious when people get hurt. ((Well, sometimes)
[x] You've played with/against boys on a team.
[x] Shopping is torture.
[ ] Sad movies suck.
[ ] You own/ed an X-Box.
[x] Played with HotWheels cars as a kid.
[ ] At some point in time you wanted to be a firefighter.
[x] You own/ed a DS, PS2 or Sega.
[ ] You used to be obsessed with Power Rangers.
[x] You watch sports on TV.
[x] Gory movies are cool.
[ ] You go to your dad for advice.
[ ] You own like a trillion baseball caps.
[ ] You like going to high school football games.
[ ] You used to/do collect football cards.
[ ] Baggy pants are cool to wear.
[ ] It's kinda weird to have sleepovers with a bunch of people.
[x] Green, black, red, blue, or silver are one of your favorite colors.
[x] You love to go crazy and not care what people think.
[x] Sports are fun.
[x] Talk with food in your mouth.
[x] Sleep with your socks on at night.(when it's cold)
TOTAL: 13

YOUR GIRL SIDE:
[ ] You wear lip gloss/stick.
[ ] You love to shop.
[x] You wear eyeliner.
[x] You wear the color pink.
[ ] Go to your mom for advice.
[x] You consider cheerleading a sport.(have you seen some of the things those kids can do?!?)
[ ] You hate wearing the color black.
[ ] You like hanging out at the mall.
[x] You like getting manicures and/or pedicures.
[ ] You like wearing jewelry.
[ ] Skirts are a big part of your wardrobe.
[ ] Shopping is one of your favorite hobbies.
[ ] You don't like the Star Wars movies.
[x] you were in gymnastics/dance.
[ ] It takes you around/more one hour to shower, get dressed, and make-up.
[x] You smile a lot more than you should.
[x] You have more than 10 pairs of shoes.
[x] You care about what you look like.
[ ] You like wearing dresses when you can.
[x] You like wearing body spray/perfume/cologne.
[x] You love the movies.
[x] Used to play with dolls as little kid.
[ ] Like putting make-up on someone else for the joy/joke of it.
[ ] Like being the star of every thing.
Total: 11

Oh dear. All I can say is (1) I'm a country girl; and (b) I'm married to Calvin. The first turned me into a tomboy, the second made me appreciate sports.

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Friday, October 26, 2007

Oh bootyful for spayshus skies...




You Are a Smart American



You know a lot about US history, and you're opinions are probably well informed.

Congratulations on bucking stereotypes. Now go show some foreigners how smart Americans can be.

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Stop me if you've heard this one.

Dear Husband and Dear Wife proceed to the bedroom at the end of the evening. In bed, lights out, DW proceeds to snuggle against DH's back. DH squirms, ticklish. DH then proceeds to tickle DW back. Tickling turns to poking, poking turns to playful punches and pinches, which in turn degrades into wrestling and teasing. At first, DW laughs and plays along. As the teasing progresses, DW kindly asks DH to be gentler. The teasing persists. DW again laughs, gives back as good as she's got, and again requests that the teasing desist. DH does not cease. DW begins to get frustrated with having to defend herself. DW's voice becomes firm, then shrill, until she is shrieking at DH to just CUT IT OUT ALREADY.

DH rolls over in a huff, all butt-hurt, and pronounces DW a bitch.

I KNOW I'm not the only one.

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Wednesday, October 24, 2007

Who loves you pretty baby?

So. After going to see the Jersey Boys TWICE, downloading the songs to make a "Valli vs. Jersey" CD (the Frankie Valli version, followed by the Jersey Boys version, of each song), purchasing "Frankie Valli and the Four Seasons Greatest Hits", volumes I and II, purchasing the official Jersey Boys soundtrack, AND purchasing a 1991 concert DVD of the original Frankie Valli and the Four Seasons, I am left with no doubt whatsoever the reason as to why I have these songs playing in my head morning, noon, and night. While I'm sleeping. While I'm awake. While I'm watching TV. While I'm actively singing another song altogether.

Who loves you pretty baby,
Who's gonna help you through the night?

Who loves you pretty mama,
Who's always there to make it right?

Who loves you pretty baby,
Who's gonna help you through the night?

Who loves you pretty mama,
Who's always there to make it right?

Who loves you,
Who loves you pretty baby?
Who's gonna love you mama?

Who loves you,
Who loves you pretty baby?

When tears are in your eyes,
And you can't find the way.

It's hard to make believe,
You're happy when you're gray.

Baby when you're feelin' like,
You'll never see the mornin' light.

Come to me,
Baby, you'll see.

Who loves you pretty baby,
Who's gonna help you through the night?

Who loves you pretty mama,
Who's always there to make it?

Who loves you,
Who loves you pretty baby?
Who's gonna love you mama?

Who loves you,
Who loves you pretty baby?

And when you think,
The whole wide world has passed you by.

You keep on tryin',
But you really don't know why.

Baby when you need a smile,
To help the shadows drift away.

Come to me,
Baby, you'll see.

Who loves you pretty baby,
Who's gonna help you through the night?

Who loves you pretty mama,
Who's always there to make it?

Who loves you,
Who's gonna love you, love you?
Who's gonna love you?

Who loves you,
Who's gonna love you, love you?
Who's gonna love you?

Baby,
Baby,
Doot-doo-doot.

Come to me,
Baby, you'll see.

Who loves you pretty baby,
Who's gonna help you through the night?

Who loves you pretty mama,
Who's always there to make it?

Who loves you,
Who's gonna love you, love you?
Who's gonna love you?

Who loves you,
Who's gonna love you, love you?
Who's gonna love you

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Monday, October 22, 2007

Someone Else

Last night I succumbed to such hysterical laughter that I cried. I was so pissed off about something that I broke into hysterics. I just pointed stiff fingers at Calvin and said, "Raaaaaage." Then laughed, and laughed, in a very maniacal way. I couldn't stop laughing. It was psychotic. Tears rolled down my face, I couldn't breathe, and I couldn't stop myself. It was like I was having a seizure. Except that endorphins are endorphins, even if the laughter was rage-induced. So after I finally got a hold of myself I felt really good for a while.

Calvin thinks I'm a little bit crazy.

When a person suffers from depression, it never just goes away. You're never cured, you just manage it until it goes into hiding, and when it comes back again you manage it again. It's a disease that there is no complete escape from, it just goes into remission now and then.

At this moment in time I am choosing to manage my depression through non-pharmaceutical methods. I cook, I clean, I write, I exercise, I read, I watch movies and TV, I wrestle with Calvin. Some days are better than others. Some hours are better than others. I've been struggling a bit over the past month. Decided for about a week to go back on a prescription. Gave it up in anger at myself because I felt like I was taking the easy way out. I can find ways to re-wire my brain on my own, without drugs, dammit.

I take a lot of naps. Something about depression makes me tired. I know I'm trying to avoid my own mind by turning it off.

Lately I've been wishing that I was someone else. Someone else inside my head. I don't want a different life with different people, I just want to swap brains with one that is whole, calm, and at peace. I have a good life - I'm married to my best friend, I have a decent job, I have a nice home, and all of my material needs are met. The only specific things that I am unhappy about are money and the fact that we don't live in Maine. Last night Calvin assured me we would get there, someday, we just have to figure out how.

The knowledge that he's on board with moving back home, and that he's going to help me figure out how to dig us out of debt, is very comforting to me. I don't remember being depressed when I lived in Maine. Granted, I was nineteen when I moved away, but is that the variable that will switch my brain back to normal? It certainly can't hurt, that's for sure.

I asked Calvin last night if he ever wanted to be someone else. He said not permanently, but he wouldn't mind inhabiting the body of Kate Beckinsale's husband for a weekend. That's my guy.

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Friday, October 19, 2007

Portrait of Zoe

After a night spent with Zoe being a CONSTANT BOTHER to me and Calvin last night, it was funny to see this in Robyn's post today:

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Tuesday, October 16, 2007

Portrait of a true friend

Not only did Jen leave work (and her covered parking spot) to drive to my house and pick me up and bring me to work (the truck wouldn't start), but when I actually finally got to my desk this morning, I discovered that she had removed all of the Patrick Dempsey pictures from her Special! Double! Photo! Issue! of Entertainment Weekly and pinned them all over my walls.

I heart Jen. I gave her cookies that I baked yesterday. Cookies for Dempsey, not even a close exchange. Perhaps weekly offerings from now until the end of the year will equal Dempsey Goodness.

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Friday, October 12, 2007

Oh the mundanity.

Today I discovered that it takes fifty-three minutes and forty-three seconds on the elliptical machine at an average heart rate of 155 beats per minute to burn five hundred calories.

The final television lineup looks like this: Sunday - Californication. Monday - usually occupied watching DVR'd shows. Tuesday - How I Met Your Mother, Two and a Half Men, The Big Bang Theory, Bones, Reaper (the jury is still out on Journeyman). Wednesday - Private Practice, Pushing Daisies. Thursday - Grey's Anatomy, CSI (the jury is still out on Big Shots). Friday - the jury is still out on Moonlight. When they start up again I will still watch Battlestar Galactica and Medium. And I'm probably forgetting about seven different shows.

Officially given up on: Heroes (it's not holding my interest this season, which sucks considering how much I loved it last season), Criminal Minds (no Mandy, no us), Dirty Sexy Money, Bionic Woman.

Several recipes have been added to the "Make Again" repertoire of my ever-picky family. All come courtesy of RecipeZaar.

Chicago Italian Beef (Crock Pot)

5 lbs rump roast (do not substitute for a different type roast)
2 cans (~28-30 oz) beef broth
1 package good seasons italian seasoning
1/2 - 1 jar sliced pepperoncini peppers (depending on level of spiciness desired)
1/2 - 1 jar giardiniera (a jarred pepper/veggie medley found in the pickle section of the grocery store)
3-5 sweet green peppers
1 loaf long thin French bread

- Cook first 5 ingredients in a Crockpot on LOW for 18 hours.
- Turn over at the 6th and 12th hour interval.
- At the 17th hour cut sweet green peppers into 1/8 ths lengthwise and cook in water on low heat until soft.
- Cut bread into 6 inch lengths and slice on the side lengthwise.
- Pull roast apart with a fork, and using tongs, pile bread with meat and juice. (Do not let juice drain before putting on bread. The juice is half the taste of the sandwich.)
- Lay strips of green pepper on top of the meat. Salt to taste.
- May be frozen when cooked.

For us, we skipped the green peppers, added sliced provolone to the sandwich and I added jarred roasted red peppers for myself. Very messy and good!

Creeping Crust Cobbler

1/2 cup butter or margarine
1 cup flour
1 teaspoon baking powder
3/4 cup white sugar
1/2 cup milk
2 cups fruit (canned, fresh or frozen)
1/2 cup white sugar (if using canned fruit, this can be omitted, since the fruit will be sweet enough on it's own)

- Preheat oven to 350 degrees.
- While oven starts to preheat, place butter (or margarine) in an 8"x8" pan, and place in oven to melt butter.
- In a mixing bowl, combine flour, baking powder, 3/4 cup sugar and milk. Mix well to combine.
- Remove pan from oven and pour batter mixture on top of melted butter - **DO NOT MIX TOGETHER!**
- In a small saucepan, heat fruit and 1/2 cup sugar until warmed and a syrup forms of the sugar, and gently spoon fruit mixture over batter.
- Bake for 35-40 minutes or until crust is golden brown.

This seemed to be a hit with Calvin, who is very particular about his cobblers. We used two cups of frozen mixed berries (raspberries, blackberries, blueberries) and served with vanilla ice cream.

Jambalaya (Crock Pot)

12 ounces boneless skinless chicken breasts
1 1/2 cups green peppers, chopped
1 medium onion, chopped
2 stalks celery, sliced
4 cloves garlic, minced
1 (14 ounce) can whole tomatoes
1/3 cup tomato paste
1 can (15 oz) beef broth
1 tablespoon parsley
1 1/2 teaspoons basil
1/2 teaspoon oregano
1 teaspoon Tabasco sauce
1/2 teaspoon cayenne pepper
1/2 teaspoon salt
1 lb shelled raw shrimp
3 cups cooked rice

- Cut chicken into 1 inch pieces.
- Put all ingredients (EXCEPT shrimp and rice) in crockpot.
- Cover; cook on low for 8 hours.
- Add shrimp the last 20 minutes of cooking.
- Stir in rice before serving.

I used two cans of chicken breast as we didn't have any packaged chicken, and it turned out really well. I stirred a tablespoon of sour cream into my serving.

Cheese Enchilada Chowder (Crock Pot)

1 (15 ounce) can black beans, rinsed and drained
1 (14 1/2 ounce) can diced tomatoes, drained
1 (10 ounce) package frozen whole kernel corn
1/2 cup chopped onions
1/2 cup chopped bell peppers (red, yellow, or green)
1 jalapeno pepper, seeded, and finely chopped
1 (19 ounce) can green enchilada sauce
1 (10 3/4 ounce) can cream of chicken soup
2 cups milk
1 cup shredded monterey jack cheese
1 cup shredded cheddar cheese
sour cream
guacamole
tortilla chips

- Add the black beans, tomatoes, frozen corn, onion, bell pepper, and jalapeno pepper to a 4 quart slow-cooker; stir to combine.
- In a mixing bowl, add the enchilada sauce and cream soup; whisk together.
- Gradually whisk in the milk until mixture is smooth.
- Pour over vegetables in slow-cooker.
- Cover and cook on LOW heat for 6-8 hours.
- Add cheese and stir until melted.
- Ladle hot soup into individual serving bowls and top with sour cream, guacamole and broken tortilla chips if desired.

I added a can of chunked chicken breast to the pot to give it some meat. I also added a small handful of jarred jalapeno slices (nacho style), and probably more cheese than the recipe called for. Calvin added a couple of spoonfuls of refried beans to his serving. We omitted the guacamole completely as it is EVIL.

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Monday, October 08, 2007

Journally yours

Ahhhh. The summer, she is finally over. It was in the 70's and 80's all weekend long, and this morning it's 60 degrees. We rode around on Calvin's motorcycle Friday, Saturday, and Sunday. I can't on the offhand recall where we went on Friday, but Saturday we went to Mill Avenue for the MOST AWESOME-EST cheeseburgers EVAR, and on Sunday we went for a ride through the foothills before hitting Rock Bottom for a couple of beers and appetizers.

Zoe and Oz are driving me BATSHIT this morning. They want to be together, but they don't. I have this (marvellous) routine in the morning where I lock Zoe in the weight room so she can eat and poo in peace without Oz all, "Whatcha doin? Are you my friend yet?" I feed Oz, per usual, in his dish in the "cat closet". He eats three bites (if that), then hightails it (heh) back to the weight room door to talk to Zoe under the crack, rattle the handle (like I said, I have to LOCK the door so he doesn't open it), come in my room where I am steadfastly working (or, you know, writing an entry), fuss at me to LEEEEEET him IIIIINNNNN, then when I finally open the door so she can come out/he can go in, instead of acting like long-separated lovers they FIT at each other for the rest of the day. Oz just follows Zoe around from hiding place to hiding place. Occasionally they can stand to be in the same space (sitting in front of the screen door, hanging out on/in the bathtub) for about five minutes, then suddenly Zoe will look at Oz like he's grown horns and gets all, "WHERE DID YOU COME FROM?!?" And she fits, and hisses, and growls, and Oz is all, "Geez, woman, PMS is a bitch, innit?"

Plus, you know how Marie is moving back in? Well, so is her dog. In the past two weeks we added another cat AND another dog as permanent additions to the household. Current count for those of you playing at home is two cats, three dogs, two bearded dragons, and a snake. All of whom I get to take care of. I am not kidding, nor am I exaggerating, when I say that I spend a total of probably two hours a day, split between morning and evening, taking care of the animals. AND it seems I will have to take Cheeto to the vet, as the poor dear is constipated. We can't have a constipated lizard on our hands, now can we?

Yeesh. At this point I am SO qualified to be a vet.

Anyway. Last week's drama is calming down a bit, but I still have anxiety up the wazoo. Marie was having troubles with her ex-boyfriend that resulted in us having to ride to her rescue in the middle of a work day. She'd moved all of his belongings - i.e. all of the furniture (she is apparently a strong black woman trapped in that teeny white girl's body) - out onto the patio of her apartment. Ex-BF was blowing up her phone with threats and angst, she called us. We showed up, then HE showed up with his brother to get his stuff. Argument ensued during which he and his brother got all up in Calvin's face.

Ahem.

SO! Calvin deterred that shit right there, then phoned the police. Who very promptly showed up to supervise the removal of the furniture and belay comments thrown from the Ex-BF in Marie's general direction. In the meantime the Ex-BF's mom showed up, and we got to witness first hand where her son got his charming personality. They left, the police left, we left, then went down to the court house to get proceedings started on a restraining order.

So, that was fun.

AAAAAANNNNNNNND then I discovered fraudulent charges against my checking account. It seems that Calvin's debit card number has been compromised. So I got to deal with that last week. On top of the refrigerator dying, buying a new refrigerator, waiting around for said refrigerator to be delivered, spending $300 on groceries to replace those lost, dealing with Marie's ex-BF, dealing with New Pet Issues, and everything else that normal life dishes up when one has a full time job and a more-than-full-time life.

Current tally: angsty shit - 10, Laura's ability to cope - 0.

BUT! Calvin and I are going to see Jersey Boys again tomorrow with Calvin's sister and her husband. I am looking forward to that like nobody's business - probably even more than I was looking forward to seeing it the first time, and despite the fact that I have had "Can't Take My Eyes Off You" firmly entrenched in my brain for, like, ever.

(baaa DA baaa DA baaa da DA da da...) "I love you baby..."

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Thursday, October 04, 2007

The benign and the dramatic

Once again waiting related to a fridge. This time, it's the new one that's supposed to be delivered SOMETIME today. I spent an hour throwing away a metric ton of spoiled food and cleaning behind/under the old refrigerator. Whatever the ook was that was back there is cancer-causing, I'm positive.

Right now I am putting together a grocery list of epic proportions. In keeping with my plan to create moments of happiness for myself, I have decided to kick my cooking hobby back into gear and make two new dinner recipes and one new dessert recipe per week. This week, well, I'm going overboard. Beef stroganoff is lined up for tonight, stuffed peppers on Saturday, Jamblaya on Sunday, and Enchilada Chowder next Thursday (standbys of burgers, tuna noodles, spaghetti, and the best meatloaf in the world fill out the rest of the days in the week, if you're curious). Plus I'm planning on making my grandmother's apple cake and her pumpkin bread this weekend.

My diet is taking a firm back seat to my happiness at the moment.

I don't remember if I mentioned it or not, but Calvin and I went to see Jersey Boys last Saturday at Gammage Auditorium. The show was ABSOLUTELY INCREDIBLE. Even Calvin loved it, and he's not a musical kind of guy. If you don't know much about them, check this out (be patient through the Sopranos tribute stuff). This was their performance at the Emmy's this year, and WAY doesn't do justice to the entire production:



This was the performance that prompted Calvin to suggest that we get tickets when they were in town (quoth I, "You do realize that this is a musical? Where people randomly dance about and burst into song?"). Which they are now. We might even go again, it was THAT good. Plus, of course, we went out on Calvin's birthday and bought a couple of Frankie Valli and the Four Seasons CD's. "Walk Like a Man", "Can't Take My Eyes Off You", "December 1963", "Grease", "Who Loves You", and "My Eyes Adored You" have been on constant spin around here.

Loved the show. LOVED. IT. Go see it so we can still be friends.

You know? There's a CRAPTASTIC load of drama going on around here, but now that I've gotten to this point in the entry, I am in no mood to write about it right now. So you'll have to wait in barely restrained anticipation until I work up the gumption to put all the crap into some semblance of cohesion.

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avoiding thinking by doing a survey


Your Score: 2 - the Helper
Take the test here


you chose CX - your Enneagram type is TWO (aka "The Charmer").


"I must help others"



Helpers are warm, concerned, nurturing, and sensitive to other people's needs.


How to Get Along with Me



  • Tell me that you appreciate me. Be specific.
  • Share fun times with me.
  • Take an interest in my problems, though I will probably try to focus on yours.
  • Let me know that I am important and special to you.
  • Be gentle if you decide to criticize me.


    In Intimate Relationships


  • Reassure me that I am interesting to you.
  • Reassure me often that you love me.
  • Tell me I'm attractive and that you're glad to be seen with me.

What I Like About Being a TWO



  • being able to relate easily to people and to make friends
  • knowing what people need and being able to make their lives better
  • being generous, caring, and warm
  • being sensitive to and perceptive about others' feelings
  • being enthusiastic and fun-loving, and having a good sense of humor

What's Hard About Being a TWO



  • not being able to say no
  • having low self-esteem
  • feeling drained from overdoing for others
  • not doing things I really like to do for myself for fear of being selfish
  • criticizing myself for not feeling as loving as I think I should
  • being upset that others don't tune in to me as much as I tume in to them
  • working so hard to be tactful and considerate that I suppress my real feelings

TWOs as Children Often



  • are very sensitive to disapproval and criticism
  • try hard to please their parents by being helpful and understanding
  • are outwardly compliant
  • are popular or try to be popular with other children
  • act coy, precocious, or dramatic in order to get attention
  • are clowns and jokers (the more extroverted TWOs), or quiet and shy (the more introverted TWOs)

TWOs as Parents



  • are good listeners, love their children unconditionally, and are warm and encouraging (or suffer guilt if they aren't)
  • are often playful with their children
  • wonder: "Am I doing it right?" "Am I giving enough?" "Have I caused irreparable damage?"
  • can become fiercely protective

Renee Baron & Elizabeth Wagele

The Enneagram Made Easy
Discover the 9 Types of People
Harper SanFrancisco, 1994, 161 pages

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a much needed laugh

Leave Britney Alone!

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Tuesday, October 02, 2007

little bits

I am and always have been an proponent of the theory that true happiness comes in little bits and pieces. Oh sure, sometimes the "big happy" comes along - an unexpected win, a vacation you didn't think you'd be able to swing but then pulled off, a relative who didn't actually have to die in order to give you their heaps and heaps of cash, just because they wanted to be around to see you enjoy it.

You know, that kind of thing.

For the most part, though, happiness comes along and hangs out with you for a little while. For an afternoon, a day, the length of a favorite song. It comes in the form of a rainy afternoon or a new recipe that falls under the category of "make again -- soon". And you stop, acknowledge the little upwelling of good feeling, and move along with life with that little feeling lingering in the background for a while.

Day to day life can be neither "happy" or "negative". It is what it is, as Calvin is wont to say lately. You live, you work, you do your thing. There exists neutrality to most of life in which there is nothing to say "woo!" over, but also nothing to say "waah!" over.

Amongst this day to day thing-doing, however, there are little bits and pieces of good, and fun, and positive. My belief is that your life - or to break it down into more manageable chunks, your day - is what you make of it. "Fake it till ya make it" is a favorite expression of my own. Push yourself to be in a good mood until you are. Search for your happiness, even amongst the shit, until you find it. Because it IS there, somewhere. Buried, sometimes, but present.

I think we as people tend to have an "all or nothing" attitude about happiness. People want to be euphoric all the time, and if they aren't then that must mean their life is the suck. It just doesn't work that way. Every day brings a little of both pleasure and pain - some days its a lot of one and a little of the other. And it just doesn't tend to balance out in the end with life's experiences tallied evenly between negative and positive. We are, as a species, full of angst. Which is why we need to look for, find, acknowledge, accept, and create for ourselves those small moments, those little pockets of peace.

Being happy takes effort.

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Monday, October 01, 2007

I am waiting... for... Vizzini.

Actually, I'm waiting for the refrigerator repair guy. Our fridge - just seven years old and WHAT happened to the kind of appliances that lasted, like, 25 years and your parents only replaced because the 70's motif of olive drab and orange didn't match the decor anymore??? Anyway, our fridge is on the fritz - refrigerated part not cold enough, freezer part not freezing. I had to throw a ton of stuff out yesterday, which was annoying. Most of it was frozen veggies, though, so cheap and easily replaceable. We've already had to replace the washer and dryer (14 years old) and dish washer (7 years old) this year. A new fridge is NOT on our list of money spending priorities at the moment.

I am starting to feel discouraged, like we're making no forward progress in our current lives. Marie has decided she needs to move back in with us (we'll have to pay the EXORBITANT fees for breaking the lease on her apartment, which Marie is going to pay back to us in installments), and Michael never moved out, so we're back to (or will be soon back to) having a full house. Which is fine, really - we all get along quite well. There will be household citizenship RULES, however. Not the least of which is that Calvin and I should never have to wash a single dish or take out a single bag of trash for as long as the kids are living with us. And this coming and going at 2:00 in the morning nonsense will be NO MORE.

Aaaand the fridge repair guy just left. The compressor is shot. We have to buy a new fridge. Fuck a duck. Another $1500 (at least) out the door.

Does it ever end?

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...and you smell like one too!

Happy Birthday, Calvin!!!

calvinbirthday

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