Today I’m going to do something that I, personally, HATE it when other bloggers do (the grammar isn’t right, there, but I’m too lazy to figure it out). I’m going to mention that there is drama going on, without actually saying what the drama is, then wax verbose at how it’s all making me feel, all without going into any details.
Writing is how I deal with things.
I’m very sad today. There was a big blow out that has resulted in a lot of upset folks, and Calvin and I are kind of keeping distance from one another. The whole mess erupted very late last night, caused very little sleep to be had, and bestowed upon me one WICKED headache. Add to that the fact that Calvin had his round of tests with the cardiologist this morning, which left him feeling whupped and unwell (we find out the results on September 11). I have no idea how the other people involved in the argument are faring, but I can’t imagine it’s any better than we are.
So. I’m at work, he’s at home, parties aren’t speaking, and it all pretty much sucks.
I wish that it was a cultural or instinctual rule that people write down all of their negative feelings, issues, anger, and upset, formulate their arguments point by point, articulate their point of view (with no swear words, mind you), and exchange documents with the other party. Who would then answer each point with a counter-point of their own, and give the document back. Thus would an actual conversation take place, with far less misunderstanding than would occur during a shouting match where everyone is emoting and nobody is trying to resolve anything.
Yelling the words, “SHUT UP AND LISTEN,” does not, in fact, result in ANYONE shutting up OR listening. Who woulda thunk?
I have no idea how to fix this. None whatsoever. Keep on keepin’ on, of course, but there’s some big bad stuff hanging out there, words exchanged that can never should have seen the light of day and now cannot be un-said, and terribly hurt feelings all the way around.
Fucking drama. I HATE IT. I’m ill-equipped to deal with it. My immediate reaction is to try to force everyone to talk about it, but talking is SO not working, and probably never will work in this particular situation, regarding this particular topic. My next reaction is to just lay low and let it all blow over, but I’m really not sure if it will, this time. Certainly, relationships have been altered, as have perceptions.
I have no idea what the fallout of all of this is going to be.
Writing is not making me feel any better, dammit.