Snerkology

I have commandeered the term “douche canoe” and am currently using it for my own nefarious purposes. Which, thus far, have all been aimed at my husband. A total of seventeen times (or thereabouts, it’s not like I keep a running tally in a notebook I have on my person at all times or anything. ::cough::) in the last four days alone. Which, come to think of it, was why I needed a new and unique way to describe his behavior. I’ve over-used “asshat,” the use of “queerbait” has negative repercussions in this PC day and age (along with just about every other moderately-offensive yet endearingly-intended derogatory term of my 80′s childhood), and “nutbag” just doesn’t have the same ring.

I’d love to provide a link to precisely the exact entry that a blogger that I read recently used it, thereby sparking my instant love of it. But I can’t remember who that was (the extent to which that sentence was TOTALLY screwed up is astonishing). I know I left them a comment telling them I was commandeering the term (though, since it has its own definition in the Urban Dictionary, any perception of copyright theft is heretofore null and void). So, hey, Temerity Jane? If you see a search call in your stats that contains the words “douche” and/or “canoe”… um, yeah, hi. That was me. (Aside: See what I did there?)

(Aside #2: Maybe I heard it from Marie?)

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And THAT, my friends, is the pithy and entertaining entry that I’ve been storing up for the last week. Other things that have been going on:

- I got a new lens for my birthday (also, it was my birthday). I took fifteen pictures of my pets, including this one:

And this one:

Aaaaand this one:

I was going to post a picture of a sunset (this one), but motherfucking WordPress and motherfucking DreamHost don’t jive with each other and keep giving me a 404 error every time I try to insert media. I had juuuuust enough patience to deal with it with the three pics up there but ran out when I got to the fourth. I swear, I almost HATE posting on my blog since I ported (or rather, Jennette ported) my crap over. It doesn’t work worth shit now and frustrates the goddamn fuck HELL out of me. Everything is so FRIGGIN’ slow it times out more often than not.

(Also, this is NO fault of Jennette’s and the ENTIRE fault of DreamHost, and why my blog won’t play is beyond my limited abilities to comprehend. DAMMIT.)

- I had a dream about Heather. She and I were riding the train to Chicago (though the town we ended up in looked suspiciously like the Lewiston/Auburn area of Maine). We stopped off on Market Street (is there such a thing????) and had cherry cobbler (her) and coconut cream pie (me) at a soda fountain. Then we went shopping and Heather liked some chick’s shirt and the chick belted her for asking where she got it. And then we forgot where we left Heather’s car. And apparently also forgot that we took the TRAIN. So. There’s that.

- We watched a crazy ton of racing and ate a crazy ton of pizza.

- That freelance job I mentioned here came through and it’s all official now. So, thanks for the crossed fingers!

- I downloaded this (as well as the first issue) and you should too.

- I went to see Harry Potter with Robert and Amanda and Amanda’s boyfriend. At 10:50 pm on a Sunday night. In 3D. There were only, like, seven other people in the theater. It was FRIKKIN AWESOME.

- Could I HAVE any more post tags?

So!! What’s new with you guys?