Snerkology

We knew this was going to happen.

I believe that I have mentioned briefly here over the years that Bill’s youngest sister (not to be confused with his closest sister, Karen, with whom we went to Wyoming) has lead a poisonous life. She has lied, manipulated, stolen, committed fraud, abused drugs and alcohol, abused and neglected her children, and physically assaulted just about every member of the family. All of her children have, at one time or another, been taken away from her. She’s been arrested, fined, counseled, treated, released, hospitalized, arrested again, treated some more, fined some MORE, and is still living the lifestyle that is going to contribute to her inevitable destruction. She has humiliated – absolutely HUMILIATED – her family time and time and time again. For much longer than I have even known Bill (OH the stories).

She is, in short, an unsavory person.

The person she has negatively impacted the most is their mother. And yet their mother continues to enable, continues to excuse, and continues to justify every BLESSED thing her youngest child has done. “Oh, she’s sick,” she’ll say. Or, “She needs to be forgiven.” Or my personal favorite, “This time she’s really trying.” This person has been given more “helping hands” than I can count. Financial bail-outs, free places to live, vehicles… more money that we will ever know from various relations near and far, and from every one of us. Every opportunity that she’s been given, and every helping hand that had she used it correctly, would have changed her life for the better, has been completely wasted. More drugs, more alcohol, more poor decisions, more questionable associations. More abuse, more drama, more playing the victim, and more expectations that she continue to be given more and more and more.

When their father passed away, Bill took on the unpleasant duty of being in charge of finalizing everything. All the court documents, phone calls, arrangements, filings, research… ALL OF IT. The size of their dad’s estate is negligible. Yet Bill wants to make sure he does everything right, especially considering that their dad was a victim of fraud while he was serving his prison sentence, and had thousands and thousands of dollars stolen from him. So, he wants to protect what is left. And protect it from anyone, up to and (especially) including his youngest daughter.

We know this woman’s motivations. We know her behavior patterns. We know that she schemes. Hell, even their own FATHER, who himself had a history of bad behavior (hello, prison), wrote her off as a bad situation. So when she contacted Bill for a copy of the death certificate, Bill said that whatever she needed to file he would take care of FOR HER. She wants to receive a benefit from the State that pays for one month of rent in the event of a parent’s death. Sure, Bill says, no problem. Meet me wherever this State office is at any time of your choosing, and we’ll take care of it together. But he wasn’t going to fax this death certificate, which has a LOT of personal information, to some random fax number that she provided.

As you can guess, she went off the deep end over it. “Oh, so you’re in charge, huh? You and your bitch wife (oh. Oh. OH.) and your lackey Karen. What gives you the right?” Hmm. Well, oldest son – check. Emergency point of contact – check. Drove thousands of miles, spent personal money, and cleaned out the Motorized Den of Iniquity. Check, check, check. Spoke with lawyers, county clerks, bank managers, and morticians. Checkety check check. Has a life-long history of responsible behavior – financial, moral, ethical, and societal. CHECK.

My theory? If she didn’t intend to use the information (which I know is public record, but they would have a RECORD of who asked for the certificate if she applied for it herself, thereby creating a trail back to her) for ill conceived purposes, why on earth would she have a problem with Bill taking care of the arrangements for her rent FOR HER?

He’s being careful. She’s being batshit crazy. AND THEN THEIR MOTHER GETS IN THE MIDDLE OF IT ALL. Passive-aggressively, I might add, by telling the following crap to anyone BUT Bill so that he had to call her, and call her out on it, once he heard about it.

Oh, obviously Bill and Karen are hiding something (and my nefarious influence isn’t helping either). Clearly there is more money to be had in their dad’s estate and we’re all going to steal it and not give their sister her fair share. We’re evil and cold-hearted (and if I had a dime for every time she repeated that to either Bill or Karen…), and while SHE isn’t judging us (OH, NOOOO), we WILL be judged. Their sister is down on her luck. She needs to be helped. “God knows she could use the money. You KNOW he has accounts everywhere.” (WHAT money? WHAT accounts?) “Having her rent paid for one month is probably the same for her as it is for Bill and Tiffany to have their mortgage paid for six months.” (HUH?) “It’s just wrong of you not to include her in any of this.” UM. OKAY. How is she equipped to “help”? What arrangements can she make? Which details can she take care of? She’s an UNREPENTANT FELON. And did I mention batshit crazy? She hasn’t been able to successfully manage ANY ASPECT of her own life, why on EARTH would anyone want her to handle anything as delicate (and complicated) as settling an estate?

Their mother is CONSTANTLY defending their youngest sister, while simultaneously attributing the worst possible qualities, intentions, and motivations to Bill and Karen. Who have NEVER done anything to hurt their mother, have NEVER asked for money or help in any way, and have NEVER brought drama to her doorstep.

WHAT. THE. HELL.

I am so pissed off right now that I had half a mind to call Bill’s mom and tell her the hell off. I have kept my mouth shut FOR YEARS and let Bill handle the relationship with his mother. But when she gets down on him for trying to do the right thing? When she says WE’RE the evil ones while she enables and defends a child-abusing drug addict? OH HELL NO.

Fortunately, Bill already said a lot of this stuff to her. So, it’s not passive-aggressive of me to blog about it. I didn’t get to vent to HER, so now I vent to YOU. I very rarely air laundry on this site, but this time I don’t care. I have reached the end of my tolerance and I don’t care who knows. I expected the reaction that we got from their youngest sister, but their mom KNOWS her daughter’s history. She KNOWS her motivations. And yet WE’RE evil. Hell, even if there were a monster-sized inheritance coming her way, it would probably be the death of her. She’d drink and drug it all away until she OD’ed.

Oh hell, I don’t even know why I’m surprised, or even angry. As much as I knew how their sister would react, I suspected this would be the case with their mom too. This kind of thing has been going on for YEARS. Oh. OH. AND she said we shouldn’t pay the funeral home. Because, and I quote, “What the hell are they going to be able to do about it?” YEAH. NICE. Real Christian of ya. Tell us we should forgive, but cheat the very lovely people who handled their dad’s mortal remains. Gee, I wonder where the crazy come from?

It’s no wonder Bill had no idea that family could be anything other than negative.

GOD I’m pissed.

So. Pray for our immortal souls, will you? Because apparently we’re going straight to hell.